Chinos: men simply end up looking like they are in desperate need of a suit and women like they are in desperate need of taking the suit off. You'd think I would be all over them, being on the left of the flipsy-dipsy side of fashion. But while most of us think in terms of simple likes and dislikes, when it comes to a new trend, I - because of the nature of my job - am on the lookout for potholes, making sure you all don't fall in. So listen carefully before drawing conclusions.
I once visited a friend in the US state of Colorado and spotted a busload of prospective university students and their parents hop off to do some joyful campus tour as only Americans can do. Now close your eyes and picture the accents, the tans, the dark glasses, the jewellery - the kind of high-camp drama I so craved. Now open, as this is not what I saw. What I did see, much to my disappointment, must have been about 85 pairs of chinos - almost all too high and too tight, I may add.
It was a curious sight, like watching a pack of chatty cigars: all beige-brown and lumpy and topped off with the brightest trainers I had ever laid eyes on.
Aside from the obvious benefits of chinos - comfort, practicality, ease of movement and less exposure than shorts and skirts - I can't quite get rid of the terrifying "mum bum" images I saw that day. Yet that high-waisted, excess-fabric, bottom-magnifier I now know as the chino is back with a vengeance.
My advice? Like every other kind of trouser, ask for - if not demand - a try-on. Don't assume, as many women do, that a baggy cut is more deceptive than a tight fit. Like children who cover themselves in a blanket in a game of hide-and-seek, the reality is still there for everyone to see.
Cropped or pleated trousers, however, add a touch of vintage glamour rather than the slightly pathetic look of an ex-public school boy if you are truly desperate to give them a whirl. Ankle-swingers work well, but make sure to team with a pair of open-toe ankle boots or two-toned ballet pumps to offset the look.
The neutral colour of chinos will go with pretty much anything, but brighter colours on the top half will lift the outfit. Experiment with a sharp blazer and a white T-shirt for evenings, or if you want something more feminine, try a silk shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
Even with all this I won't pretend that this is the most flattering of garments: when you see the effect on your bottom, you may need to sit down for a moment, perhaps with a glass of room-temperature water - but at least you will know that you will be comfortable when doing so.
M-ometer
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A cheaper choice
Vanuatu: $130,000
Why on earth pick Vanuatu? Easy. The South Pacific country has no income tax, wealth tax, capital gains or inheritance tax. And in 2015, when it was hit by Cyclone Pam, it signed an agreement with the EU that gave it some serious passport power.
Cost: A minimum investment of $130,000 for a family of up to four, plus $25,000 in fees.
Criteria: Applicants must have a minimum net worth of $250,000. The process take six to eight weeks, after which the investor must travel to Vanuatu or Hong Kong to take the oath of allegiance. Citizenship and passport are normally provided on the same day.
Benefits: No tax, no restrictions on dual citizenship, no requirement to visit or reside to retain a passport. Visa-free access to 129 countries.
Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
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Six pitfalls to avoid when trading company stocks
Following fashion
Investing is cyclical, buying last year's winners often means holding this year's losers.
Losing your balance
You end up with too much exposure to an individual company or sector that has taken your fancy.
Being over active
If you chop and change your portfolio too often, dealing charges will eat up your gains.
Running your losers
Investors hate admitting mistakes and hold onto bad stocks hoping they will come good.
Selling in a panic
If you sell up when the market drops, you have locked yourself out of the recovery.
Timing the market
Even the best investor in the world cannot consistently call market movements.
The specs: 2018 Mazda CX-5
Price, base / as tested: Dh89,000 / Dh130,000
Engine: 2.5-litre four-cylinder
Power: 188hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 251Nm @ 4,000rpm
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Fuel consumption, combined: 7.1L / 100km
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre turbo
Power: 181hp
Torque: 230Nm
Transmission: 6-speed automatic
Starting price: Dh79,000
On sale: Now
Company%20Profile
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Company%20Profile
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Milestones on the road to union
1970
October 26: Bahrain withdraws from a proposal to create a federation of nine with the seven Trucial States and Qatar.
December: Ahmed Al Suwaidi visits New York to discuss potential UN membership.
1971
March 1: Alex Douglas Hume, Conservative foreign secretary confirms that Britain will leave the Gulf and “strongly supports” the creation of a Union of Arab Emirates.
July 12: Historic meeting at which Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid make a binding agreement to create what will become the UAE.
July 18: It is announced that the UAE will be formed from six emirates, with a proposed constitution signed. RAK is not yet part of the agreement.
August 6: The fifth anniversary of Sheikh Zayed becoming Ruler of Abu Dhabi, with official celebrations deferred until later in the year.
August 15: Bahrain becomes independent.
September 3: Qatar becomes independent.
November 23-25: Meeting with Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid and senior British officials to fix December 2 as date of creation of the UAE.
November 29: At 5.30pm Iranian forces seize the Greater and Lesser Tunbs by force.
November 30: Despite a power sharing agreement, Tehran takes full control of Abu Musa.
November 31: UK officials visit all six participating Emirates to formally end the Trucial States treaties
December 2: 11am, Dubai. New Supreme Council formally elects Sheikh Zayed as President. Treaty of Friendship signed with the UK. 11.30am. Flag raising ceremony at Union House and Al Manhal Palace in Abu Dhabi witnessed by Sheikh Khalifa, then Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi.
December 6: Arab League formally admits the UAE. The first British Ambassador presents his credentials to Sheikh Zayed.
December 9: UAE joins the United Nations.