Can you value your traditions without being overtly religious?
It is a dilemma many of my 30- and 40-something friends face. We have grown up in fairly religious households. We are immigrants who have lived in many countries. This is the problem. As you get older and live in different cultures, other traditions start resonating with you. My friend Ayesha grew up Muslim in Pakistan, but as a mother living in New York with a Jewish husband, she says she doesn't have the time to do all the things her religion prescribes. "Rather than fight over which religion our kids will grow up with, Aaron and I have given up both," she says.
Ayesha is an advertising professional who wears tight skirts and smokes cigars. She is hardly an archetypal devout Muslim, but there are some aspects of her faith she tries to pass on to her children: zakat, for instance.
"America is such a consumer-driven society," says Ayesha. "My kids get allowances and big birthday presents. During Christmas, they get gifts from their friends. I don't want my child to turn into a me-myself- mine type of person. The notion of zakat is beautiful and such a contrast to what they are growing up with."
Giving alms to the needy is a noble idea, and Islam has codified it as one of its tenets. The problem for Ayesha and others like her - me included - is that it is hard to pass on religious values when one is not overtly religious. How do you inculcate zakat without being raised in a Muslim household?
As someone who grew up Hindu, I like the idea of sitting down in meditation and prayer every day. I believe it will help my children concentrate. The problem is that sitting down in prayer is a fundamental part of my religion, and I am not very religious. I don't have a prayer room in my apartment. I grew up watching my parents sit cross-legged on the floor, light some incense and meditate before the idols of Hindu gods such as Ganesh the elephant god or Hanuman the monkey god. How do I teach my kids to meditate without such symbols?
My mother taught me to chant to these gods as a way to centre my mind. I want the same result for my children without all the "religious stuff", as I call it. I am only now beginning to realise that this will be hard to achieve.
Rebelling against your religion is not uncommon. Many of my American friends who grew up in conservative Christian families became agnostic or even atheistic when they grew up. My friend Cathy was reared in a Southern Baptist home in Memphis, Tennessee. When we were in Memphis State University together, she studied other faiths through classes. She went to church but also read Buddhist texts.
A few years later, I got a postcard from Tibet from Cathy, saying she was staying at a Buddhist monastery for a few months. A year later, she became a Buddhist and her family disowned her.
Ayesha's rebellion is not so stark. When she goes back to Pakistan, she conforms to the religious norms in her parents' home. She wears the hijab and "acts like a good Muslim", as she says. But her heart is not in it.
Statistics show that a growing number of Generation X - people born in the latter half of the 1960s, all through the late 70s - are disenchanted with religion. We don't get sustenance from religion the way our parents did. And yet we are not ready to give it up entirely. We want to pass on certain aspects of our faith to our kids.
The question is how. For now, there is no right answer.
Shoba Narayan is a journalist based in Bangalore, India. She is the author of Monsoon Diary: A Memoir with Recipes.
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if you go
The flights
Air Astana flies direct from Dubai to Almaty from Dh2,440 per person return, and to Astana (via Almaty) from Dh2,930 return, both including taxes.
The hotels
Rooms at the Ritz-Carlton Almaty cost from Dh1,944 per night including taxes; and in Astana the new Ritz-Carlton Astana (www.marriott) costs from Dh1,325; alternatively, the new St Regis Astana costs from Dh1,458 per night including taxes.
When to visit
March-May and September-November
Visas
Citizens of many countries, including the UAE do not need a visa to enter Kazakhstan for up to 30 days. Contact the nearest Kazakhstan embassy or consulate.
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Eyasses squad
Charlie Preston (captain) – goal shooter/ goalkeeper (Dubai College)
Arushi Holt (vice-captain) – wing defence / centre (Jumeriah English Speaking School)
Olivia Petricola (vice-captain) – centre / wing attack (Dubai English Speaking College)
Isabel Affley – goalkeeper / goal defence (Dubai English Speaking College)
Jemma Eley – goal attack / wing attack (Dubai College)
Alana Farrell-Morton – centre / wing / defence / wing attack (Nord Anglia International School)
Molly Fuller – goal attack / wing attack (Dubai College)
Caitlin Gowdy – goal defence / wing defence (Dubai English Speaking College)
Noorulain Hussain – goal defence / wing defence (Dubai College)
Zahra Hussain-Gillani – goal defence / goalkeeper (British School Al Khubairat)
Claire Janssen – goal shooter / goal attack (Jumeriah English Speaking School)
Eliza Petricola – wing attack / centre (Dubai English Speaking College)
THE SPECS
Cadillac XT6 2020 Premium Luxury
Engine: 3.6L V-6
Transmission: nine-speed automatic
Power: 310hp
Torque: 367Nm
Price: Dh280,000
Walls
Louis Tomlinson
3 out of 5 stars
(Syco Music/Arista Records)
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The past Palme d'Or winners
2018 Shoplifters, Hirokazu Kore-eda
2017 The Square, Ruben Ostlund
2016 I, Daniel Blake, Ken Loach
2015 Dheepan, Jacques Audiard
2014 Winter Sleep (Kış Uykusu), Nuri Bilge Ceylan
2013 Blue is the Warmest Colour (La Vie d'Adèle: Chapitres 1 et 2), Abdellatif Kechiche, Adele Exarchopoulos and Lea Seydoux
2012 Amour, Michael Haneke
2011 The Tree of Life, Terrence Malick
2010 Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (Lung Bunmi Raluek Chat), Apichatpong Weerasethakul
2009 The White Ribbon (Eine deutsche Kindergeschichte), Michael Haneke
2008 The Class (Entre les murs), Laurent Cantet
Mubadala World Tennis Championship 2018 schedule
Thursday December 27
Men's quarter-finals
Kevin Anderson v Hyeon Chung 4pm
Dominic Thiem v Karen Khachanov 6pm
Women's exhibition
Serena Williams v Venus Williams 8pm
Friday December 28
5th place play-off 3pm
Men's semi-finals
Rafael Nadal v Anderson/Chung 5pm
Novak Djokovic v Thiem/Khachanov 7pm
Saturday December 29
3rd place play-off 5pm
Men's final 7pm
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