If you are a girl who has dreamt about her wedding day since you were born, then please step this way. Bride Wars is for you. It is just the thing for any girl who spent her formative years tottering around in her mother's shoes practising saying "I do".
Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) have been best friends since childhood, and obsessed with their big days for nearly as long. When they are six, their mothers take them for tea at The Plaza Hotel in New York, where the beady-eyed young pair spy a bride and groom mid-ceremony. And that's it. Years of female emancipation are trampled over. The small duo are enraptured because surely a wedding day is what all little girls long for, isn't it?
Shortly after that fateful tea, we see the girls playing at being brides, then the film skips forward 20 years. Liv and Emma have been busy working themselves into hysterics about their weddings. Sure, Emma has become a schoolteacher and Liv has managed to earn herself a law degree, but mostly, it seems, they have spent their maturing years leafing through What Dress? magazine.
As luck would have it, they both get engaged to their hapless boyfriends on the same day. Cue a trip to New York's top wedding planner, Marion St Claire (Candice Bergen), and reservations for June dates at The Plaza.
Then catastrophe strikes. And let's be clear: by catastrophe, I don't mean a mere earthquake or a typhoon. It's much worse than that. A diary malfunction at St Claire's office means both weddings are booked for the same day. One of the girls needs to shift her date but there isn't another at The Plaza for three years. Would you believe it?
Both girls refuse to reschedule. It is, after all, the culmination of their lives. As St Claire puts it: "You have been dead until now."
The remainder of the film is taken up with cat fighting. Best friends become enemies. There are sabotaged tanning sessions from which Liz emerges the colour of a cheesy Wotsit, and trips to the hairdresser that leave Emma's hair a Smurf-like blue. New levels of cavorting silliness are reached at a bachelorette party.
Finally, on the day itself, there is a minor plot twist and a frothy finale that I won't ruin for you.
Actually, yes I will. They both live happily ever after. Because of course that's what always happens after you get married. The end.
So unless you are the sort to thrill at Tiffany engagement rings or Vera Wang frocks, this film will have remarkably little to offer you. This is especially true if you are a man, in which case I would stick to Wedding Crashers, the immeasurably funnier, male wedding tale starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan.
Strangely enough, Bride Wars was directed by a man. Two of the three writers were male, too. Reflect on that while watching Liv and Emma battle it out in yards of tulle and the film begins to make sense. "What is it that makes women so crazy about weddings?" asks one prospective groom as the women squabble. What indeed.
It's worth noting a couple of good points to the film. Bergen shines as the haughty wedding planner. And Hudson and Hathaway are eminently watchable stars. There is one genuinely touching moment when the two catch sight of each other just before they walk down their respective aisles and sigh, stricken at the thought of missing out on each other's moment. But, by and large, there isn't enough humour, the slapstick is fumbled and the characters are so irritating that you wonder how they managed to secure a proposal in the first place.
Hudson and Hathaway have since said that they never grew up wanting the big, white wedding. Perhaps that's something they should have thought about before signing up to the film.
David Haye record
Total fights: 32
Wins: 28
Wins by KO: 26
Losses: 4
The specs
Engine: Dual 180kW and 300kW front and rear motors
Power: 480kW
Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh359,900 ($98,000)
On sale: Now
The specs
Engine: 3-litre twin-turbo V6
Power: 400hp
Torque: 475Nm
Transmission: 9-speed automatic
Price: From Dh215,900
On sale: Now
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
The biog
Family: wife, four children, 11 grandchildren, 16 great-grandchildren
Reads: Newspapers, historical, religious books and biographies
Education: High school in Thatta, a city now in Pakistan
Regrets: Not completing college in Karachi when universities were shut down following protests by freedom fighters for the British to quit India
Happiness: Work on creative ideas, you will also need ideals to make people happy
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Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
Honeymoonish
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The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE CARD
The line-up as it stands for the Greatest Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia on April 27
50-man Royal Rumble
Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (champion) v Roman Reigns
Casket match
The Undertaker v Rusev
Intercontinental Championship
Seth Rollins (champion) v The Miz v Finn Balor v Samoa Joe
SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The Bludgeon Brothers v The Usos
Raw Tag Team Championship
Sheamus and Cesaro v Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy
United States Championship
Jeff Hardy (champion) v Jinder Mahal
Singles match
Triple H v John Cena
To be confirmed
AJ Styles will defend his WWE World Heavyweight title and Cedric Alexander his Cruiserweight Championship, but matches have yet to be announced
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Key facilities
- Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
- Premier League-standard football pitch
- 400m Olympic running track
- NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
- 600-seat auditorium
- Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
- An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
- Specialist robotics and science laboratories
- AR and VR-enabled learning centres
- Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
US tops drug cost charts
The study of 13 essential drugs showed costs in the United States were about 300 per cent higher than the global average, followed by Germany at 126 per cent and 122 per cent in the UAE.
Thailand, Kenya and Malaysia were rated as nations with the lowest costs, about 90 per cent cheaper.
In the case of insulin, diabetic patients in the US paid five and a half times the global average, while in the UAE the costs are about 50 per cent higher than the median price of branded and generic drugs.
Some of the costliest drugs worldwide include Lipitor for high cholesterol.
The study’s price index placed the US at an exorbitant 2,170 per cent higher for Lipitor than the average global price and the UAE at the eighth spot globally with costs 252 per cent higher.
High blood pressure medication Zestril was also more than 2,680 per cent higher in the US and the UAE price was 187 per cent higher than the global price.
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Muguruza's singles career in stats
WTA titles 3
Prize money US$11,128,219 (Dh40,873,133.82)
Wins / losses 293 / 149
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
Wenger's Arsenal reign in numbers
1,228 - games at the helm, ahead of Sunday's Premier League fixture against West Ham United.
704 - wins to date as Arsenal manager.
3 - Premier League title wins, the last during an unbeaten Invincibles campaign of 2003/04.
1,549 - goals scored in Premier League matches by Wenger's teams.
10 - major trophies won.
473 - Premier League victories.
7 - FA Cup triumphs, with three of those having come the last four seasons.
151 - Premier League losses.
21 - full seasons in charge.
49 - games unbeaten in the Premier League from May 2003 to October 2004.
