This past weekend I partook in the kind of multi-emirate gallop that makes one lament weekends spent vegetating on the couch.
After picking up a very wobbly rental car from Karama, a bunch of us drove from Dubai to Sharjah, stopping for a dum biryani at that place known for its dum biryanis, before heading off to Ras Al Khaimah where we spent a good part of our early evening strolling along the corniche in search of a good chai.
Food had a lot to do with how the weekend unfolded, obviously. We were a big bunch of desis and eating is what we do best - as was discovered by the solitary Greek in our group that day.
We threw him right into the deep end with our heated argument over which biryani to order and on what level of the spicy scale. When our well-contemplated order arrived and the waiter folded back the piping hot bread covering the biryani, it released a spiral of steam that turned us into a quivering mass of gratitude. We thanked God for making us desi, and for making biryani our birthright.
We checked into the Mangrove Hotel Ras Al Khaimah, deposited our bags and made a beeline for the Manhattan Café and Coffee Shop at the end of the road. We had spied it on our drive in and the torn, tatty outdoor seating and trees festooned with light just called out to us. Later that night, there was a hilariously violent game of Taboo, and some serious 2am cravings of masala dosa.
Apart from various escapades revolving around food, the other thing that punctuated the weekend for me was the absolute lack of virtual contact.
With my mobile phone safely in a bag somewhere for most of the trip (a combination of my lack of pockets and my innate ability to misplace my mobile phone if it is not in a pocket), I, for the first time since signing up for the dastardly BBM service, did not update my status for one whole weekend. All throughout, it read a very vague "Weekend ahoy!", which is what I had set it to on Thursday morning.
Saturday brought its own share of mirthful mishaps en route to the Dreamland Aquapark in Umm Al Quwain, starting with a fruitless drive around a ghost town looking for a place to eat and culminating in reaching the park only to realise we had forgotten our tickets at the hotel! Not that that stopped us from a day of whizzing down slides and bobbing in the water.
For the grand finale, I upended myself in the wave pool (one of the attractions labelled as "mild") and managed to bang my head on the bottom of the pool, scrape my knees and ankles and disorient myself all in less than five seconds. A truly bizarre moment which started out with me whooping in delight at the stomach-churning somersault, followed by hysterics as I realised I've got a bump on my head the size of Nebraska. I'm calling it the souvenir no one else got to bring back home.
All's well that ends well? Definitely. But I do have an appointment with the neurologist, just in case.
Sunday's games
All times UAE:
Tottenham Hotspur v Crystal Palace, 4pm
Manchester City v Arsenal, 6.15pm
Everton v Watford, 8.30pm
Chelsea v Manchester United, 8.30pm
A cheaper choice
Vanuatu: $130,000
Why on earth pick Vanuatu? Easy. The South Pacific country has no income tax, wealth tax, capital gains or inheritance tax. And in 2015, when it was hit by Cyclone Pam, it signed an agreement with the EU that gave it some serious passport power.
Cost: A minimum investment of $130,000 for a family of up to four, plus $25,000 in fees.
Criteria: Applicants must have a minimum net worth of $250,000. The process take six to eight weeks, after which the investor must travel to Vanuatu or Hong Kong to take the oath of allegiance. Citizenship and passport are normally provided on the same day.
Benefits: No tax, no restrictions on dual citizenship, no requirement to visit or reside to retain a passport. Visa-free access to 129 countries.
Mica
Director: Ismael Ferroukhi
Stars: Zakaria Inan, Sabrina Ouazani
3 stars
if you go
The flights
Etihad, Emirates and Singapore Airlines fly direct from the UAE to Singapore from Dh2,265 return including taxes. The flight takes about 7 hours.
The hotel
Rooms at the M Social Singapore cost from SG $179 (Dh488) per night including taxes.
The tour
Makan Makan Walking group tours costs from SG $90 (Dh245) per person for about three hours. Tailor-made tours can be arranged. For details go to www.woknstroll.com.sg
The biog
From: Upper Egypt
Age: 78
Family: a daughter in Egypt; a son in Dubai and his wife, Nabila
Favourite Abu Dhabi activity: walking near to Emirates Palace
Favourite building in Abu Dhabi: Emirates Palace
The Pope's itinerary
Sunday, February 3, 2019 - Rome to Abu Dhabi
1pm: departure by plane from Rome / Fiumicino to Abu Dhabi
10pm: arrival at Abu Dhabi Presidential Airport
Monday, February 4
12pm: welcome ceremony at the main entrance of the Presidential Palace
12.20pm: visit Abu Dhabi Crown Prince at Presidential Palace
5pm: private meeting with Muslim Council of Elders at Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque
6.10pm: Inter-religious in the Founder's Memorial
Tuesday, February 5 - Abu Dhabi to Rome
9.15am: private visit to undisclosed cathedral
10.30am: public mass at Zayed Sports City – with a homily by Pope Francis
12.40pm: farewell at Abu Dhabi Presidential Airport
1pm: departure by plane to Rome
5pm: arrival at the Rome / Ciampino International Airport
Which honey takes your fancy?
Al Ghaf Honey
The Al Ghaf tree is a local desert tree which bears the harsh summers with drought and high temperatures. From the rich flowers, bees that pollinate this tree can produce delicious red colour honey in June and July each year
Sidr Honey
The Sidr tree is an evergreen tree with long and strong forked branches. The blossom from this tree is called Yabyab, which provides rich food for bees to produce honey in October and November. This honey is the most expensive, but tastiest
Samar Honey
The Samar tree trunk, leaves and blossom contains Barm which is the secret of healing. You can enjoy the best types of honey from this tree every year in May and June. It is an historical witness to the life of the Emirati nation which represents the harsh desert and mountain environments
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Auron Mein Kahan Dum Tha
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Shantanu Maheshwari, Jimmy Shergill, Saiee Manjrekar
Director: Neeraj Pandey
Rating: 2.5/5
The biog
Name: Salvador Toriano Jr
Age: 59
From: Laguna, The Philippines
Favourite dish: Seabass or Fish and Chips
Hobbies: When he’s not in the restaurant, he still likes to cook, along with walking and meeting up with friends.
THE LIGHT
Director: Tom Tykwer
Starring: Tala Al Deen, Nicolette Krebitz, Lars Eidinger
Rating: 3/5
More Expo 2020 Dubai pavilions:
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The Brutalist
Director: Brady Corbet
Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn
Rating: 3.5/5
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
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The Uefa Awards winners
Uefa Men's Player of the Year: Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool)
Uefa Women's Player of the Year: Lucy Bronze (Lyon)
Best players of the 2018/19 Uefa Champions League
Goalkeeper: Alisson (Liverpool)
Defender: Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool)
Midfielder: Frenkie de Jong (Ajax)
Forward: Lionel Messi (Barcelona)
Uefa President's Award: Eric Cantona