Here's one way of generating publicity for your new screenplay. Rather than excitably telling everyone of the great storyline or the hopes you have for the director, hit the headlines by casting aspersions on the much-loved original. Better still, tell a widely read magazine that the iconic lead wasn't actually all that good.
It's the kind of opprobrium you'd probably expect from a caustic film-maker such as Quentin Tarantino. But when Emma Thompson, for many the epitome of the demure Englishwoman, told The Hollywood Reporter and Variety last week that she found Audrey Hepburn "fantastically twee" in My Fair Lady, it caused shockwaves. The screenwriter Frederic Raphael, who worked with Hepburn on 1967's Two For The Road, told The Daily Telegraph: "Audrey was never an actress in Miss Thompson's acid-drop class. She was a lot more than that. You came, you saw her and you were conquered."
Raphael felt the need to respond, perhaps, because Thompson didn't stop at calling Hepburn fantastically twee. "She can't sing and she can't really act, I'm afraid," she continued. "I'm sure she was a delightful woman - and perhaps if I had known her I would have enjoyed her acting more, but I don't and I didn't, so that's all there is to it, really."
Thompson went on to suggest her version of My Fair Lady will give the story a feminist makeover. But however interesting that, or the speculation that Carey Mulligan will play Eliza Doolittle, might have been, it was lost in the Hepburn storm. Because of the other iconic films she starred in - Roman Holiday, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Wait Until Dark - Hepburn is an almost untouchable figure.
She belongs, then, to a cabal of "classic" actors and filmmakers who, it seems, are above criticism. Marilyn Monroe (who Hepburn replaced in Breakfast At Tiffany's) was, let's be honest, not a great actress. And knocking Irving Berlin for his unbelievably sentimental musical White Christmas is akin to saying Santa Claus doesn't exist in some quarters. But that film had barely any plot beyond Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye wanting to cheer up their former wartime general by putting on a show. It's not even an original: the song White Christmas first appeared in the 1942 musical Holiday Inn, of which this is a remake so brazen, they even used the same set.
Of course, it's easy to mock old films, simply because they're often products of a different, unfamiliar time. But there are paragons of the modern era too, and they're called cult films. Of these, Kevin Smith's Clerks must surely go down as one of the most continually overrated movies of all time. Two annoying dudes in a video store talking about their nerdy lives and rating Star Wars movies might have had some charm in 1994, but it's not particularly impressive now. Still, suggest that it was successful simply because it pressed lots of mid-1990s cultural buttons, and cineastes will look at you in horror. And somehow, the cult of Clerks has led to sequels, comics and an animated series.
In criticising Hepburn, Thompson was actually vocalising a feeling we all have: there is nothing more annoying than being told what to like. But it's not exclusive to film. In music, if you miss the point about a cultural "hero", you might as well admit you're tone deaf. James Brown may have been venerated as the godfather of soul, but actually, can you really name more than four of his songs? The rest are interminable funk workouts. While we're talking lengthy jams with no apparent purpose, The Rolling Stones are more than capable of giving James Brown a run for his money, most memorably on the 1965 album Aftermath. It might have featured Under My Thumb and Out Of Time, two classics of the mid 1960s. But there's also the excruciating, 11-minute-long Goin' Home. Mention such patchiness - as I once mistakenly did at a Rolling Stones gig - and whole armies of music police descend to put you right.
So it's actually something of a relief that Emma Thompson has spoken the unspeakable - that our cultural icons might not have the consistent body of work everyone thinks they have. It gives hope to everyone who thinks it's a guilty secret that, actually, they can only get halfway through a Beatles record, and don't really understand the fuss about Lost In Translation. But woe betide Thompson if her new version of My Fair Lady isn't up to scratch. A whole army of Hepburn-lovers must surely be just waiting to shoot her down.
Dr Afridi's warning signs of digital addiction
Spending an excessive amount of time on the phone.
Neglecting personal, social, or academic responsibilities.
Losing interest in other activities or hobbies that were once enjoyed.
Having withdrawal symptoms like feeling anxious, restless, or upset when the technology is not available.
Experiencing sleep disturbances or changes in sleep patterns.
What are the guidelines?
Under 18 months: Avoid screen time altogether, except for video chatting with family.
Aged 18-24 months: If screens are introduced, it should be high-quality content watched with a caregiver to help the child understand what they are seeing.
Aged 2-5 years: Limit to one-hour per day of high-quality programming, with co-viewing whenever possible.
Aged 6-12 years: Set consistent limits on screen time to ensure it does not interfere with sleep, physical activity, or social interactions.
Teenagers: Encourage a balanced approach – screens should not replace sleep, exercise, or face-to-face socialisation.
Source: American Paediatric Association
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
MATCH INFO
Karnatake Tuskers 114-1 (10 ovs)
Charles 57, Amla 47
Bangla Tigers 117-5 (8.5 ovs)
Fletcher 40, Moores 28 no, Lamichhane 2-9
Bangla Tiger win by five wickets
Ways to control drones
Countries have been coming up with ways to restrict and monitor the use of non-commercial drones to keep them from trespassing on controlled areas such as airports.
"Drones vary in size and some can be as big as a small city car - so imagine the impact of one hitting an airplane. It's a huge risk, especially when commercial airliners are not designed to make or take sudden evasive manoeuvres like drones can" says Saj Ahmed, chief analyst at London-based StrategicAero Research.
New measures have now been taken to monitor drone activity, Geo-fencing technology is one.
It's a method designed to prevent drones from drifting into banned areas. The technology uses GPS location signals to stop its machines flying close to airports and other restricted zones.
The European commission has recently announced a blueprint to make drone use in low-level airspace safe, secure and environmentally friendly. This process is called “U-Space” – it covers altitudes of up to 150 metres. It is also noteworthy that that UK Civil Aviation Authority recommends drones to be flown at no higher than 400ft. “U-Space” technology will be governed by a system similar to air traffic control management, which will be automated using tools like geo-fencing.
The UAE has drawn serious measures to ensure users register their devices under strict new laws. Authorities have urged that users must obtain approval in advance before flying the drones, non registered drone use in Dubai will result in a fine of up to twenty thousand dirhams under a new resolution approved by Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed, Crown Prince of Dubai.
Mr Ahmad suggest that "Hefty fines running into hundreds of thousands of dollars need to compensate for the cost of airport disruption and flight diversions to lengthy jail spells, confiscation of travel rights and use of drones for a lengthy period" must be enforced in order to reduce airport intrusion.
SERIE A FIXTURES
Saturday Spezia v Lazio (6pm), Juventus v Torino (9pm), Inter Milan v Bologna (7.45pm)
Sunday Verona v Cagliari (3.30pm), Parma v Benevento, AS Roma v Sassuolo, Udinese v Atalanta (all 6pm), Crotone v Napoli (9pm), Sampdoria v AC Milan (11.45pm)
Monday Fiorentina v Genoa (11.45pm)
Overview
What: The Arab Women’s Sports Tournament is a biennial multisport event exclusively for Arab women athletes.
When: From Sunday, February 2, to Wednesday, February 12.
Where: At 13 different centres across Sharjah.
Disciplines: Athletics, archery, basketball, fencing, Karate, table tennis, shooting (rifle and pistol), show jumping and volleyball.
Participating countries: Algeria, Bahrain, Comoros, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Morocco, Oman, Palestine, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, Qatar and UAE.
More on Turkey's Syria offence
Essentials
The flights
Emirates flies direct from Dubai to Seattle from Dh6,755 return in economy and Dh24,775 in business class.
The cruise
UnCruise Adventures offers a variety of small-ship cruises in Alaska and around the world. A 14-day Alaska’s Inside Passage and San Juans Cruise from Seattle to Juneau or reverse costs from $4,695 (Dh17,246), including accommodation, food and most activities. Trips in 2019 start in April and run until September.
Ponti
Sharlene Teo, Pan Macmillan
Zayed Sustainability Prize
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
SQUAD
Ali Khaseif, Fahad Al Dhanhani, Adel Al Hosani, Mohammed Al Shamsi, Bandar Al Ahbabi, Mohammed Barghash, Salem Rashid, Khalifa Al Hammadi, Shaheen Abdulrahman, Hassan Al Mahrami, Walid Abbas, Mahmoud Khamis, Yousef Jaber, Saeed Ahmed, Majed Sorour, Majed Hassan, Ali Salmeen, Abdullah Ramadan, Khalil Al Hammadi, Fabio De Lima, Khalfan Mubarak, Tahnoun Al Zaabi, Ali Saleh, Caio Canedo, Muhammed Jumah, Ali Mabkhout, Sebastian Tagliabue, Zayed Al Ameri
Western Region Asia Cup T20 Qualifier
Sun Feb 23 – Thu Feb 27, Al Amerat, Oman
The two finalists advance to the Asia qualifier in Malaysia in August
Group A
Bahrain, Maldives, Oman, Qatar
Group B
UAE, Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia
UAE group fixtures
Sunday Feb 23, 9.30am, v Iran
Monday Feb 25, 1pm, v Kuwait
Tuesday Feb 26, 9.30am, v Saudi
UAE squad
Ahmed Raza, Rohan Mustafa, Alishan Sharafu, Ansh Tandon, Vriitya Aravind, Junaid Siddique, Waheed Ahmed, Karthik Meiyappan, Basil Hameed, Mohammed Usman, Mohammed Ayaz, Zahoor Khan, Chirag Suri, Sultan Ahmed
