So let's start with the upside. Steve Misic is impressed. And, before we go any farther, I'm going to pause and savour that for a little while.
What's that? Steve who? Shows what you know. And, indeed, until this week, what I knew. Mr Misic is what I'm pretending to be - a trader, though in his case in the real world, with years of experience in everything from equities and futures to forex and options. A former assistant head trader for a leading hedge fund, he is one of 60 US-based instructors who now share their experience with the thousands of international students at the Online Trading Academy, which, since 2005, has had a branch in Dubai's Knowledge Village.
He was also in town this week, on his fourth trip of the year, to run one of the academy's intensive seven-day professional trader courses, and I collared him in a blatant attempt to get some free tips. This course, focused on stock trading but designed to equip anyone with about US$5,000 (Dh18,365) to spare with the tools they need to tackle trading in any asset class, is pitched at beginners, who learn the essential basics: how to develop a trading plan, find trades by technical analysis and trend-tracking and, crucially, manage risk to prevent losing money, "the professional trader's rule number one". By day three, students are trading live - "planning their trade, then trading their plan", as the academy likes to say - and, best of all, they are trading with the academy's money.
However, cautions Mr Misic, though many students do go on to make a living at their home terminals, don't even think about giving up your day job to trade full-time without a year or two of living money in reserve. Maybe he was being kind, but after I told Mr Misic about the whole fantasy-trading thing, and how at one point I had boosted my original stake of £15,000 (Dh87,270) to close to £16,500 (mainly by stabbing in the dark, but I left out that detail), he said: "Well, percentage-wise, that's not a bad gain."
I thank you. But, in fact, he was being kind, because then he sort of went and spoiled it by adding: "And now think what it would be if you knew what you were doing." Indeed. Mr Misic had worked out that I didn't know what I was doing within five or maybe six seconds of our conversation starting. And, after listening to him patiently explain some of the basic ins and outs of successful trading, I came away simultaneously inspired by the possibilities and depressed at just how much I have to learn.
Mr Misic teaches what he calls a simple strategy for successful trading in any asset class - whether stocks, forex or futures - that involves following the inevitable business cycle of "an expansion, a peak, a contraction and then a trough", and striking - buying or selling - at the correct moment. "So up, sideways, down and sideways again is pretty much the pattern," he says. "And the market has the same pattern; they call it accumulation, mark up, distribution and mark down."
I'm writing this stuff down, mouthing the words, but secretly glad I'm not going to be tested on it later. And then comes a quiet revelation. I guess we all know the way it is - that the world is comprised, essentially, of suckers and suckees - but hearing it spelled out for the first time by Mr Misic, as he gives me his idiot's guide to market economics, is a little disheartening. "Institutions like to accumulate large positions of assets in anticipation of higher prices and, after the higher prices are reached, they usually distribute to the public, who like to buy at the top of the market."
By "like", I think he means "know no better than". Sometimes it's hard to know when financial types are being funny. And then, he says: "The market collapses, the only people that have money are the institutions and then the whole thing starts over again. "Every generation," he adds, "goes through it; you either figure it out or you're a part of it for ever." Depressing. I have wasted my life as a wage slave. So how to figure it out and cross over to the smart side?
For Mr Misic, it's all about the weekly charts: study these carefully and patterns will start to emerge - patterns that can be exploited by the nimble-footed day trader. And don't waste your time reading too much. "For example, look at the gold market right now. It's at all-time highs and going higher. What to do? There's all these people that are long on gold telling you, 'Oh, it's a buy', and everybody who's short telling you, 'Oh, it's going to collapse'."
What you need, he says, is not contradictory advice, but a strategy - based on a sound understanding of demand and supply. "So if you want to buy gold, say, you either buy when it makes a new high or you buy when there's a pullback to some kind of demand zone below current price. Prices don't always go straight up, they often fall back a little before resuming the uptrend." A dim bulb lights up. This was a strategy I'd stumbled on myself, a few columns back!
But a little knowledge is, of course, a dangerous thing, and now I am in a quandary. Do I plunge in deeper, deploying Fibonacci retracement lines (whatever they are) in an attempt to second guess the market? Or do I just stumble on, continuing to act on instinct (a word, incidentally, that makes Mr Misic draw breath, politely, but sharply)? Well, a bit of both, I guess. After all, there's no real money at stake - and if there was, I can't help thinking that handing over $5,000 or so to Mr Misic and his colleagues would be my first and best investment.
Meanwhile, back to stabbing in the dark in the unreal world, whereby this week I have made a grand total of £9.82. Whoop-de-doop. Not quite enough for two Big Mac meals.
jgornall@thenational.ae
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Company%20Profile
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THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
THE SPECS
Engine: 4.4-litre V8
Transmission: Automatic
Power: 530bhp
Torque: 750Nm
Price: Dh535,000
On sale: Now
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
3%20Body%20Problem
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APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)
Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits
Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Storage: 128/256/512GB
Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4
Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps
Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID
Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight
In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter
Price: From Dh2,099
Company%20profile
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Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
CREW
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Kill%20Bill%20Volume%201
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The specs
Engine: 3.5-litre twin-turbo V6
Power: 380hp at 5,800rpm
Torque: 530Nm at 1,300-4,500rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Price: From Dh299,000 ($81,415)
On sale: Now
World Series
Game 1: Red Sox 8, Dodgers 4
Game 2: Red Sox 4, Dodgers 2
Game 3: Saturday (UAE)
* if needed
Game 4: Sunday
Game 5: Monday
Game 6: Wednesday
Game 7: Thursday
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cylinder petrol
Power: 154bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option
Price: From Dh79,600
On sale: Now
Wicked
Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
Company%20Profile
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Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5
The Written World: How Literature Shaped History
Martin Puchner
Granta
Brief scoreline:
Crystal Palace 2
Milivojevic 76' (pen), Van Aanholt 88'
Huddersfield Town 0
No more lice
Defining head lice
Pediculus humanus capitis are tiny wingless insects that feed on blood from the human scalp. The adult head louse is up to 3mm long, has six legs, and is tan to greyish-white in colour. The female lives up to four weeks and, once mature, can lay up to 10 eggs per day. These tiny nits firmly attach to the base of the hair shaft, get incubated by body heat and hatch in eight days or so.
Identifying lice
Lice can be identified by itching or a tickling sensation of something moving within the hair. One can confirm that a person has lice by looking closely through the hair and scalp for nits, nymphs or lice. Head lice are most frequently located behind the ears and near the neckline.
Treating lice at home
Head lice must be treated as soon as they are spotted. Start by checking everyone in the family for them, then follow these steps. Remove and wash all clothing and bedding with hot water. Apply medicine according to the label instructions. If some live lice are still found eight to 12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not re-treat. Comb dead and remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine-toothed comb.
After the initial treatment, check for, comb and remove nits and lice from hair every two to three days. Soak combs and brushes in hot water for 10 minutes.Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay.
Courtesy Dr Vishal Rajmal Mehta, specialist paediatrics, RAK Hospital
'Moonshot'
Director: Chris Winterbauer
Stars: Lana Condor and Cole Sprouse
Rating: 3/5
If you go
Flights
Emirates flies from Dubai to Phnom Penh with a stop in Yangon from Dh3,075, and Etihad flies from Abu Dhabi to Phnom Penh with its partner Bangkok Airlines from Dh2,763. These trips take about nine hours each and both include taxes. From there, a road transfer takes at least four hours; airlines including KC Airlines (www.kcairlines.com) offer quick connecting flights from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville from about $100 (Dh367) return including taxes. Air Asia, Malindo Air and Malaysian Airlines fly direct from Kuala Lumpur to Sihanoukville from $54 each way. Next year, direct flights are due to launch between Bangkok and Sihanoukville, which will cut the journey time by a third.
The stay
Rooms at Alila Villas Koh Russey (www.alilahotels.com/ kohrussey) cost from $385 per night including taxes.
The%C2%A0specs%20
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Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
'My Son'
Director: Christian Carion
Starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy, Tom Cullen, Gary Lewis
Rating: 2/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
More coverage from the Future Forum
MATCH INFO
Manchester City 1 Chelsea 0
De Bruyne (70')
Man of the Match: Kevin de Bruyne (Manchester City)
If you go
The Flights
Emirates and Etihad fly direct to Johannesburg from Dubai and Abu Dhabi respectively. Economy return tickets cost from Dh2,650, including taxes.
The trip
Worldwide Motorhoming Holidays (worldwidemotorhomingholidays.co.uk) operates fly-drive motorhome holidays in eight destinations, including South Africa. Its 14-day Kruger and the Battlefields itinerary starts from Dh17,500, including campgrounds, excursions, unit hire and flights. Bobo Campers has a range of RVs for hire, including the 4-berth Discoverer 4 from Dh600 per day.
Business Insights
- As per the document, there are six filing options, including choosing to report on a realisation basis and transitional rules for pre-tax period gains or losses.
- SMEs with revenue below Dh3 million per annum can opt for transitional relief until 2026, treating them as having no taxable income.
- Larger entities have specific provisions for asset and liability movements, business restructuring, and handling foreign permanent establishments.
RESULTS
1.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,200m
Winner: Lady Parma, Richard Mullen (jockey), Satish Seemar (trainer).
2.15pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,200m
Winner: Tabernas, Connor Beasley, Ahmed bin Harmash.
2.45pm: Handicap Dh95,000 1,200m
Winner: Night Castle, Connor Beasley, Satish Seemar.
3.15pm: Handicap Dh120,000 1,400m
Winner: Mystique Moon, Sam Hitchcott, Doug Watson.
3.45pm: Handicap Dh80,000 1,400m
Winner: Mutawakked, Szczepan Mazur, Musabah Al Muhairi.
4.15pm: Handicap Dh90,000 1,800m
Winner: Tafaakhor, Sandro Paiva, Ali Rashid Al Raihe.
4.45pm: Handicap Dh80,000 1,950m
Winner: Cranesbill, Fabrice Veron, Erwan Charpy.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Know before you go
- Jebel Akhdar is a two-hour drive from Muscat airport or a six-hour drive from Dubai. It’s impossible to visit by car unless you have a 4x4. Phone ahead to the hotel to arrange a transfer.
- If you’re driving, make sure your insurance covers Oman.
- By air: Budget airlines Air Arabia, Flydubai and SalamAir offer direct routes to Muscat from the UAE.
- Tourists from the Emirates (UAE nationals not included) must apply for an Omani visa online before arrival at evisa.rop.gov.om. The process typically takes several days.
- Flash floods are probable due to the terrain and a lack of drainage. Always check the weather before venturing into any canyons or other remote areas and identify a plan of escape that includes high ground, shelter and parking where your car won’t be overtaken by sudden downpours.