Not saying I'm right but try me on banks, the euro and August



Towards the end of his life the choleric Kurt Vonnegut became even more curmudgeonly. When asked about being a columnist the American writer replied: "At the height of the Vietnam War, every columnist in the country turned their attention on the White House like a bazooka. It didn't make a blind damn of difference."

These are disheartening words for any columnist. For despite toiling away like Irish navvies through a cutting, we like to think a subtle word from us will shape future policies as surely as Metternich's oleaginous wiles in 19th century Europe.

As I look back over more than 175 columns printed in these pages over the past three-and-a-half years (soon to be published in one slim volume called Musings on the Middle East), unlike Mr Vonnegut I see only success and unbridled influence.

Take an early column I wrote on the future of investment bankers. They were finished, I declared boldly in 2008, but never fear: they could be retrained for a number of uses, including be used as traffic cones on motorways or to help people use BlackBerries.

One might argue that I was ahead of the curve, a prophet without profit if you will, because these pinstriped dandies kept rewarding themselves with socking bonuses.

However, the world has caught up with them. I count it a matter of some solace that the Occupy Wall Street movement that is now sweeping the world like a virus probably had its roots in these pages.

This is not the only instance when I led public opinion to the correct decision. As well as pouring scorn on people who can't add up except when it comes to bonus time, I have been sceptical of Europe's leadership.

Did they have the acumen or nous to deal with the single currency? I thought not, and events have proved me right.

I did not anticipate that David Cameron, the British prime minister, would nip home early from the meeting, but I suspected that Nicolas Sarkozy and Angela Merkel would cook up a cunning Franco-German plan that would not convince the markets.

Don't believe me? Here is what I wrote at the end of December 2009: "Next year I suspect we shall be saying farewell to the euro, at least in its present state. Despite its stellar 2009, outmuscling the dollar and reducing sterling almost to parity, my bet is that the euro will fold.

"The Germans have already said they will not bail out the Greeks. Spain has no money, Ireland's bubble has burst, Italy is in turmoil and France is in a poor state. Goodbye euro, and good luck."

One other area that I have led the way is in anticipating that August is no longer a dull month. As I said a few months ago: "Few observers saw it coming, even when the Archduke Franz Ferdinand was bumped off by Gavrilo Princip. The first sign of trouble was a sharp dip in bond prices.

"Shares were hit too. John Maynard Keynes, the economist and policymaker who was a courageous investor who saw nothing wrong with a touch of insider dealing, thought he had the inside steer to the crisis and bought Rio Tinto and Canadian Pacific shares, only to see them tank.

On August 4, 1914, Britain declared war on Germany and Sir Edward Grey, the British foreign secretary, said: 'The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our time'."

I think my warning prepared those in the financial markets for the struggle ahead. It certainly gave other columnists food for thought, for many of them soon produced something similar in their own pages.

Recycling is much in vogue these days, and there are few better examples of that than weekly columnists.

As I wrote in 2009, recycling is a popular thing. I was rather hoping to recycle a bit of that column here, but somebody has seen fit to wipe it off the Web, so you'll have to wait for the book.

Have no fear, there are other examples of my prescience. Take this from 2009: "Goldman Sachs: It may look mightier than ever, having weathered the sub-prime storm, been bailed out by the US taxpayer and paid him back, but the days of the super-smart bank are numbered."

Whether these choice words spooked the market one cannot be sure, but there is no doubt that the super-smart bankers are no longer looking so smug.

There are many similar examples scattered throughout these past three years, words and advice that will doubtless propel my tome to the top of The New York Times bestseller list.

As we all know, forecasting is a dangerous game. The key is to predict regularly, so here is my take on what will happen next year: Europe will fail to save the euro, again. Goldman Sachs might still be there. Columnists will keep recycling columns.

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Five famous companies founded by teens

There are numerous success stories of teen businesses that were created in college dorm rooms and other modest circumstances. Below are some of the most recognisable names in the industry:

  1. Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg and his friends started Facebook when he was a 19-year-old Harvard undergraduate. 
  2. Dell: When Michael Dell was an undergraduate student at Texas University in 1984, he started upgrading computers for profit. He starting working full-time on his business when he was 19. Eventually, his company became the Dell Computer Corporation and then Dell Inc. 
  3. Subway: Fred DeLuca opened the first Subway restaurant when he was 17. In 1965, Mr DeLuca needed extra money for college, so he decided to open his own business. Peter Buck, a family friend, lent him $1,000 and together, they opened Pete’s Super Submarines. A few years later, the company was rebranded and called Subway. 
  4. Mashable: In 2005, Pete Cashmore created Mashable in Scotland when he was a teenager. The site was then a technology blog. Over the next few decades, Mr Cashmore has turned Mashable into a global media company.
  5. Oculus VR: Palmer Luckey founded Oculus VR in June 2012, when he was 19. In August that year, Oculus launched its Kickstarter campaign and raised more than $1 million in three days. Facebook bought Oculus for $2 billion two years later.
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Health Valley

Founded in 2002 and set up as a foundation in 2006, Health Valley has been an innovation in healthcare for more than 10 years in Nijmegen, the Netherlands.
It serves as a place where companies, businesses, universities, healthcare providers and government agencies can collaborate, offering a platform where they can connect and work together on healthcare innovation.
Its partners work on technological innovation, new forms of diagnostics and other methods to make a difference in healthcare.
Its agency consists of eight people, four innovation managers and office managers, two communication advisers and one director. It gives innovation support to businesses and other parties in its network like a broker, connecting people with the right organisation to help them further

Living in...

This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home. 

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
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