Mr T thinks I should stop starting so many sentences with "what if". He also thinks I should stop prefacing my conversation openers with "here's a hypothetical scenario".
But I really can't help it. My personal form of amusement is to stare at nothing and daydream "hypothetical scenarios" for the both of us, then imagine how Mr T would react in these imaginary situations. It's not a very healthy hobby; I usually end up semi-hysterical and ready to pick a fight.
So, understandably, he cringes when he hears the dreaded words: what if.
What if I'm offered a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity that requires us to move to a new, exotic country and provides me with a salary better than both of our current pays combined; would we go for it? What if we learn we can't have children; would we adopt? What if I am involved in a terrible car accident (but did not sustain any injuries) and completely destroyed my car; would I get a new vehicle? A convertible maybe?
To be completely candid, however, most of my hypothetical scenarios revolve around two constants: food (or Mr T's inability to cook it) and our nonexistent children.
"What if I'm sick with fever and unable to get out of bed and our child is practically starving; are you just going to order takeaway for the duration of the week because you can't cook? What if I have an early morning meeting and leave the house before you; will you make sure the child has a healthy breakfast and pack a nutritionally balanced school lunch? What if I have to travel for work and you can't reach me to get a grocery list or a list of things to do; would you know what to cook and how to prepare it? What if both my arms fall off and it becomes illegal to order food to the house and we are banned from every restaurant in town; will you cook then?"
I'm always hounding him with similar questions. Judging by his reaction - he takes it all in his stride and chuckles a lot - it is safe to assume I'm not being taken seriously in this matter.
Which is why I sat down to write him a very serious email on January 1, detailing exactly what his 2012 resolutions should be. Number one on the list is very, very specific: "You have 12 months to perfect six meals that you can make with your eyes closed, as in knowing what groceries you'll need, what ingredients to prepare, how to put it all together from A to Z; something that is not processed and not out of a jar, not something you can defrost or take out of a package. Something that is fresh and easy and you can rely on whenever needed. To accomplish this mission, aim to perfect a dish every two months. I will help you."
I am happy to report that Mr T is taking the task to heart; he follows me around the kitchen with a notepad and pen, jotting down strange scribbles that only make sense to him. A few days ago, I received an email invitation informing me that Mr T wishes to share a Google Document with me, titled T's Cookbook. In it, he says: "This is my cooking book. I'll add stuff I pick up here. Only I can add. My way. You can make corrections if anything is wrong or missing something."
I emailed him a reply: "What if you lose the Google Doc? You should probably have a backup, just in case."
hkhalaf@thenational.ae
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Pad Man
Dir: R Balki
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonam Kapoor, Radhika Apte
Three-and-a-half stars
MATCH INFO
Fixture: Ukraine v Portugal, Monday, 10.45pm (UAE)
TV: BeIN Sports
Biog
Mr Kandhari is legally authorised to conduct marriages in the gurdwara
He has officiated weddings of Sikhs and people of different faiths from Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Russia, the US and Canada
Father of two sons, grandfather of six
Plays golf once a week
Enjoys trying new holiday destinations with his wife and family
Walks for an hour every morning
Completed a Bachelor of Commerce degree in Loyola College, Chennai, India
2019 is a milestone because he completes 50 years in business
Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
- Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
- Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
- Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
The nine articles of the 50-Year Charter
1. Dubai silk road
2. A geo-economic map for Dubai
3. First virtual commercial city
4. A central education file for every citizen
5. A doctor to every citizen
6. Free economic and creative zones in universities
7. Self-sufficiency in Dubai homes
8. Co-operative companies in various sectors
9: Annual growth in philanthropy
Dr Amal Khalid Alias revealed a recent case of a woman with daughters, who specifically wanted a boy.
A semen analysis of the father showed abnormal sperm so the couple required IVF.
Out of 21 eggs collected, six were unused leaving 15 suitable for IVF.
A specific procedure was used, called intracytoplasmic sperm injection where a single sperm cell is inserted into the egg.
On day three of the process, 14 embryos were biopsied for gender selection.
The next day, a pre-implantation genetic report revealed four normal male embryos, three female and seven abnormal samples.
Day five of the treatment saw two male embryos transferred to the patient.
The woman recorded a positive pregnancy test two weeks later.
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder MHEV
Power: 360bhp
Torque: 500Nm
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Price: from Dh282,870
On sale: now
The bio
Who inspires you?
I am in awe of the remarkable women in the Arab region, both big and small, pushing boundaries and becoming role models for generations. Emily Nasrallah was a writer, journalist, teacher and women’s rights activist
How do you relax?
Yoga relaxes me and helps me relieve tension, especially now when we’re practically chained to laptops and desks. I enjoy learning more about music and the history of famous music bands and genres.
What is favourite book?
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - I think I've read it more than 7 times
What is your favourite Arabic film?
Hala2 Lawen (Translation: Where Do We Go Now?) by Nadine Labaki
What is favourite English film?
Mamma Mia
Best piece of advice to someone looking for a career at Google?
If you’re interested in a career at Google, deep dive into the different career paths and pinpoint the space you want to join. When you know your space, you’re likely to identify the skills you need to develop.
The biog
Mission to Seafarers is one of the largest port-based welfare operators in the world.
It provided services to around 200 ports across 50 countries.
They also provide port chaplains to help them deliver professional welfare services.
Haemoglobin disorders explained
Thalassaemia is part of a family of genetic conditions affecting the blood known as haemoglobin disorders.
Haemoglobin is a substance in the red blood cells that carries oxygen and a lack of it triggers anemia, leaving patients very weak, short of breath and pale.
The most severe type of the condition is typically inherited when both parents are carriers. Those patients often require regular blood transfusions - about 450 of the UAE's 2,000 thalassaemia patients - though frequent transfusions can lead to too much iron in the body and heart and liver problems.
The condition mainly affects people of Mediterranean, South Asian, South-East Asian and Middle Eastern origin. Saudi Arabia recorded 45,892 cases of carriers between 2004 and 2014.
A World Health Organisation study estimated that globally there are at least 950,000 'new carrier couples' every year and annually there are 1.33 million at-risk pregnancies.
Getting there
The flights
Flydubai operates up to seven flights a week to Helsinki. Return fares to Helsinki from Dubai start from Dh1,545 in Economy and Dh7,560 in Business Class.
The stay
Golden Crown Igloos in Levi offer stays from Dh1,215 per person per night for a superior igloo; www.leviniglut.net
Panorama Hotel in Levi is conveniently located at the top of Levi fell, a short walk from the gondola. Stays start from Dh292 per night based on two people sharing; www. golevi.fi/en/accommodation/hotel-levi-panorama
Arctic Treehouse Hotel in Rovaniemi offers stays from Dh1,379 per night based on two people sharing; www.arctictreehousehotel.com
Results
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MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, first leg
Liverpool v Roma
When: April 24, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Anfield, Liverpool
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 2, Stadio Olimpico, Rome