In a country where many are accustomed to having their laundry folded, beds made and floors mopped, taking up the homemaker's apron can be a tough sell. But pay cuts or the loss of full-time wages in some households are driving people to economise on "luxuries" such as home help. Some find the change from water-cooler talk and power lunches to the silent monotony of housework a traumatic one. Others relish it.
There's something about the lure of a weekday at home that is particularly hard to resist. When I tell people that, having lost my job earlier this year, I now work at home full-time, the response is usually one of envy: "You don't have to deal with office politics. You can get up whenever you want. You're your own boss. I bet your laundry pile is non-existent." For the most part, that's a pretty fair description. But I also know the flip side: the lack of interaction with others, the alienation from the outside world and the boredom of repetitive chores.
Amy Thomson, who lost her job as a visual merchandiser for a Dubai-based home interiors company six months ago, says: "I went from a highly creative and social job that involved meeting clients and creating interior designs to tidying away dishes, doing laundry cycles and having to ask my husband for money. It hit me pretty badly.
"I like having a nice house; our furniture all matches and we are both quite clean and tidy, but I found myself starting arguments over things like discarded yogurt pots because I had spent the day tidying the house and felt that my husband, who was at work, didn't appreciate it."
Thomson struggled with the shift in balance that her homemaking had in their relationship. "Before, if there were clothes on the floor, he'd pick them up himself, but now he's started leaving them for me. I find that quite irritating."
She secretly believes her husband enjoys being looked after. "He loves me being at home to see him off and have dinner waiting when he comes home. His shirts are ironed and the housework is always done. And it's not all bad. I do enjoy doing nice things for him and looking after him, even though if I had a choice, I'd rather not."
Thomson's iPod proved to be a saving grace. She downloads and listens to French lesson podcasts while she cleans. "At first I put on playlists but I decided to use my time at home to learn a language. I started listening to lessons while tidying the house to keep my brain active."
That's a key to being happy at home, says Roghy McCarthy, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist. "If you find yourself at home, you should try and make the most of it. You can use the time to discover a talent you never knew you had."
McCarthy says those without career goals or with a set of unrealised ambitions can sometimes become depressed, unhappy and resentful. "In this day and age, most little girls don't grow up saying: 'I want to be a wife or mother.' No boy in the playground says: 'I want to be a husband and father.' They want to be an astronaut or a pilot. Being a stay-at-home spouse or parent is not just about coffee mornings. When you lose your career, you are losing self-esteem, confidence and the self-fulfillment that the career brings. You can lose some respect in the community, and your economic freedom."
Nick Langmead, an Australian who says he made an "ill-timed move into a real estate job" before the credit crunch hit Dubai, says being at home - while difficult at times - hasn't been all bad. "I'd been attracted to property because of the potential rewards, but after four months of not making a single sale or rental, I had to throw in the towel. While looking for a new job I've put more effort into other things like getting fit and eating more healthily, learning Norwegian because my girlfriend is Norwegian, and helping my family around the house."
For Langmead, this goes further than picking up a mop and ironing a few shirts. Since leaving his job he has become a carer for his mother, who was paralysed in a moped accident while holidaying in South Africa in 2008. "My mum broke her back and neck and I have done things like organising carpenters to build a wheelchair ramp, running her to doctors appointments and taking her to see friends. I've also been doing lots of housework and cooking. I like the cooking but not the housework so much. I do the washing up, take the rubbish out and hang out the washing. For me, it's more a case of keeping the place a bit cleaner and discovering those filthy bits that have never been touched."
Langmead admits that while he has been happy to help at home, he would prefer to be working full time. "There have been days with quite a bit of cabin fever. Even though I'm helping my mum and doing all these self-improvement things, I would still rather be bringing in some cash. Being at home hasn't been all bad, though, and it was even quite fun at first. I don't know if I could become a stay-at-home dad in the future. I don't think there is as much of a stigma attached to it but most blokes would rather be the breadwinner."
While redundancy is gender blind, it is usually the woman who takes on the role of homemaker when a baby arrives. Most women will give up work for at least a few months and it's not always an easy transition. "I went from presenting annual reports, reporting to company directors and organising international conferences with some of the biggest players in the industry to making frozen lasagnes and mating socks," says Tara Foster, who lives in Dubai. "I had been in charge of 30 people, taking home a salary that rivalled most of my friends' and driving a brand new BMW. Then I found myself asking my husband for grocery money and spending my days in an endless cycle of nappy changing. Some women adapt easily but I lost my self-esteem and became quite depressed and overweight."
Not all women fear becoming a Stepford wife. Emma Riedel, who runs a party planning company from home, deliberately eschews the services of a maid. "A maid will never do it as well as me," the 31-year-old Australian says. "I stopped working when I had my baby and thought there was not much point having a maid when I was home all day. I don't mind housework; I even enjoy it. I think a lot of people are in for a shock when they go back to their home countries and have to start doing it all themselves again.
"People say it's hard to run a home but it's easy. I tend to do everything quite quickly but then I find myself with little to do. But I would still rather be at home because that is why you have a child: to see those milestones and be there to raise them."
Different people will react differently to being at home, and women shouldn't be hard on themselves when they make this transition, says Susan Ayers, a health psychology lecturer at Sussex University in the UK. "This is a massive period of change and adjustment and it is about what is right for both the mother and the baby. Any big change in life has the potential to be stressful but whether women are affected or not is individual. It depends on the woman's thoughts and expectations about being at home.
"Generally, people feel stressed when the demands placed on them are more than their resources to cope. So a woman who is not confident about coping with children and has few people to support her would find it very difficult. On the other hand, a woman who finds coping with children easy, has lots of support and is not confident in her career will find it much easier. Either way, women should prioritise themselves and the baby.
"At the end of the day, happiness is more important than housework."
MATCH INFO
Chelsea 3 (Abraham 11', 17', 74')
Luton Town 1 (Clark 30')
Man of the match Abraham (Chelsea)
Final scores
18 under: Tyrrell Hatton (ENG)
- 14: Jason Scrivener (AUS)
-13: Rory McIlroy (NIR)
-12: Rafa Cabrera Bello (ESP)
-11: David Lipsky (USA), Marc Warren (SCO)
-10: Tommy Fleetwood (ENG), Chris Paisley (ENG), Matt Wallace (ENG), Fabrizio Zanotti (PAR)
Tips for newlyweds to better manage finances
All couples are unique and have to create a financial blueprint that is most suitable for their relationship, says Vijay Valecha, chief investment officer at Century Financial. He offers his top five tips for couples to better manage their finances.
Discuss your assets and debts: When married, it’s important to understand each other’s personal financial situation. It’s necessary to know upfront what each party brings to the table, as debts and assets affect spending habits and joint loan qualifications. Discussing all aspects of their finances as a couple prevents anyone from being blindsided later.
Decide on the financial/saving goals: Spouses should independently list their top goals and share their lists with one another to shape a joint plan. Writing down clear goals will help them determine how much to save each month, how much to put aside for short-term goals, and how they will reach their long-term financial goals.
Set a budget: A budget can keep the couple be mindful of their income and expenses. With a monthly budget, couples will know exactly how much they can spend in a category each month, how much they have to work with and what spending areas need to be evaluated.
Decide who manages what: When it comes to handling finances, it’s a good idea to decide who manages what. For example, one person might take on the day-to-day bills, while the other tackles long-term investments and retirement plans.
Money date nights: Talking about money should be a healthy, ongoing conversation and couples should not wait for something to go wrong. They should set time aside every month to talk about future financial decisions and see the progress they’ve made together towards accomplishing their goals.
MATCH INFO
Syria v Australia
2018 World Cup qualifying: Asia fourth round play-off first leg
Venue: Hang Jebat Stadium (Malacca, Malayisa)
Kick-off: Thursday, 4.30pm (UAE)
Watch: beIN Sports HD
* Second leg in Australia scheduled for October 10
Tax authority targets shisha levy evasion
The Federal Tax Authority will track shisha imports with electronic markers to protect customers and ensure levies have been paid.
Khalid Ali Al Bustani, director of the tax authority, on Sunday said the move is to "prevent tax evasion and support the authority’s tax collection efforts".
The scheme’s first phase, which came into effect on 1st January, 2019, covers all types of imported and domestically produced and distributed cigarettes. As of May 1, importing any type of cigarettes without the digital marks will be prohibited.
He said the latest phase will see imported and locally produced shisha tobacco tracked by the final quarter of this year.
"The FTA also maintains ongoing communication with concerned companies, to help them adapt their systems to meet our requirements and coordinate between all parties involved," he said.
As with cigarettes, shisha was hit with a 100 per cent tax in October 2017, though manufacturers and cafes absorbed some of the costs to prevent prices doubling.
If you go
Flying
Despite the extreme distance, flying to Fairbanks is relatively simple, requiring just one transfer in Seattle, which can be reached directly from Dubai with Emirates for Dh6,800 return.
Touring
Gondwana Ecotours’ seven-day Polar Bear Adventure starts in Fairbanks in central Alaska before visiting Kaktovik and Utqiarvik on the North Slope. Polar bear viewing is highly likely in Kaktovik, with up to five two-hour boat tours included. Prices start from Dh11,500 per person, with all local flights, meals and accommodation included; gondwanaecotours.com
UAE jiu-jitsu squad
Men: Hamad Nawad and Khalid Al Balushi (56kg), Omar Al Fadhli and Saeed Al Mazroui (62kg), Taleb Al Kirbi and Humaid Al Kaabi (69kg), Mohammed Al Qubaisi and Saud Al Hammadi (70kg), Khalfan Belhol and Mohammad Haitham Radhi (85kg), Faisal Al Ketbi and Zayed Al Kaabi (94kg)
Women: Wadima Al Yafei and Mahra Al Hanaei (49kg), Bashayer Al Matrooshi and Hessa Al Shamsi (62kg)
Fixtures and results:
Wed, Aug 29:
- Malaysia bt Hong Kong by 3 wickets
- Oman bt Nepal by 7 wickets
- UAE bt Singapore by 215 runs
Thu, Aug 30:
- UAE bt Nepal by 78 runs
- Hong Kong bt Singapore by 5 wickets
- Oman bt Malaysia by 2 wickets
Sat, Sep 1: UAE v Hong Kong; Oman v Singapore; Malaysia v Nepal
Sun, Sep 2: Hong Kong v Oman; Malaysia v UAE; Nepal v Singapore
Tue, Sep 4: Malaysia v Singapore; UAE v Oman; Nepal v Hong Kong
Thu, Sep 6: Final
Volvo ES90 Specs
Engine: Electric single motor (96kW), twin motor (106kW) and twin motor performance (106kW)
Power: 333hp, 449hp, 680hp
Torque: 480Nm, 670Nm, 870Nm
On sale: Later in 2025 or early 2026, depending on region
Price: Exact regional pricing TBA
One-off T20 International: UAE v Australia
When: Monday, October 22, 2pm start
Where: Abu Dhabi Cricket, Oval 1
Tickets: Admission is free
Australia squad: Aaron Finch (captain), Mitch Marsh, Alex Carey, Ashton Agar, Nathan Coulter-Nile, Chris Lynn, Nathan Lyon, Glenn Maxwell, Ben McDermott, Darcy Short, Billy Stanlake, Mitchell Starc, Andrew Tye, Adam Zampa, Peter Siddle
UNSC Elections 2022-23
Seats open:
- Two for Africa Group
- One for Asia-Pacific Group (traditionally Arab state or Tunisia)
- One for Latin America and Caribbean Group
- One for Eastern Europe Group
Countries so far running:
Results:
2.15pm: Handicap (PA) Dh60,000 1,200m.
Winner: AZ Dhabyan, Adam McLean (jockey), Saleha Al Ghurair (trainer).
2.45pm: Maiden (PA) Dh60,000 1,200m.
Winner: Ashton Tourettes, Sam Hitchcott, Ibrahim Aseel.
3.15pm: Conditions (PA) Dh60,000 2,000m.
Winner: Hareer Al Reef, Gerald Avranche, Abdallah Al Hammadi.
3.45pm: Maiden (PA) Dh60,000 1,700m.
Winner: Kenz Al Reef, Gerald Avranche, Abdallah Al Hammadi.
4.15pm: Sheikh Ahmed bin Rashid Al Maktoum Cup (TB) Dh 200,000 1,700m.
Winner: Mystique Moon, Sam Hitchcott, Doug Watson.
4.45pm: The Crown Prince Of Sharjah Cup Prestige (PA) Dh200,000 1,200m.
Winner: ES Ajeeb, Sam Hitchcott, Ibrahim Aseel.
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
The specs: 2017 Porsche 718 Cayman
Price, base / as tested Dh222,500 / Dh296,870
Engine 2.0L, flat four-cylinder
Transmission Seven-speed PDK
Power 300hp @ 6,500rpm
Torque 380hp @ 1,950rpm
Fuel economy, combined 6.9L / 100km
The specs: 2018 Audi RS5
Price, base: Dh359,200
Engine: 2.9L twin-turbo V6
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 450hp at 5,700rpm
Torque: 600Nm at 1,900rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 8.7L / 100km
Expert input
If you had all the money in the world, what’s the one sneaker you would buy or create?
“There are a few shoes that have ‘grail’ status for me. But the one I have always wanted is the Nike x Patta x Parra Air Max 1 - Cherrywood. To get a pair in my size brand new is would cost me between Dh8,000 and Dh 10,000.” Jack Brett
“If I had all the money, I would approach Nike and ask them to do my own Air Force 1, that’s one of my dreams.” Yaseen Benchouche
“There’s nothing out there yet that I’d pay an insane amount for, but I’d love to create my own shoe with Tinker Hatfield and Jordan.” Joshua Cox
“I think I’d buy a defunct footwear brand; I’d like the challenge of reinterpreting a brand’s history and changing options.” Kris Balerite
“I’d stir up a creative collaboration with designers Martin Margiela of the mixed patchwork sneakers, and Yohji Yamamoto.” Hussain Moloobhoy
“If I had all the money in the world, I’d live somewhere where I’d never have to wear shoes again.” Raj Malhotra
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
