Unclogging toilets was not my ideal Saturday night activity when I was 21 – but since I had taken the plunge to be a landlord (more specifically, an Airbnb landlord), things like this came with the territory. So, ignoring 2am phone calls and going to a rave instead meant a five-star night would end with a one-star rating the day after.
Many will have undoubtedly been drawn to a report this week revealing how Airbnb listings have doubled in Dubai since 2021. “It is a lucrative business if you can get it right,” my colleague Neil Halligan wrote.
It most certainly is, if you don’t mind being the concierge, booking agent, cleaner, minder, chaperone, tour guide and complaints hotline, that is. Twenty-four hours a day.
What is hosting like without a middleman company?
I was an Airbnb host for six years in the UK and in that time I’d seen it all – different people checking out from the ones I checked in, every electrical item and light switch flicked on just before leaving, an entire suitcase of dirty clothes abandoned with a note saying: “Got carried away at Selfridge’s, free to a good home.” I still wear one of the hoodies today.
I joined in 2012 and was the first person in Manchester to list an entire apartment. It was so long ago that the company (now a $230 billion Nasdaq darling) was still finding its feet and used to invite me to meet them for overpriced coffee and networking catch-ups to ask how I was finding it.
Silicon Valley-style jargon of “crunching the data” to “optimise the end-user experience” was thrown around. I can’t remember exactly as I didn’t go.
This was well before the birth of middlemen companies that offer to run the bookings from start to finish – taking a heavy cut in exchange for light, if any, involvement from the owner. So all duties had to be filled by the landlord. Those looking to jump on the gravy train may wish to look beyond that “finfluencer” on Instagram sitting in a Lamborghini and telling you how he got rich by letting Airbnbs. There’s more to it.
Welcome gifts in the bin and full chickens in the oven
Firstly, this is a customer-facing job. You may think you’re normal, but the public is not. So if messages like: “Making a detour to the pub, going to arrive late, stay there and we’ll collect the keys in six hours, yeah?” or “Apartment too cold, got firewood. Where matches?” are likely to be a trigger, it’s best to avoid.
Secondly, be prepared for weird items to be left behind. A 36-pack of toilet rolls (minus five) was bought and left by a guest who stayed just one night. A whole roasted chicken sat in the oven, completely untouched though sweating in a rare warm Mancunian summer. A full load of clothing in the washing machine. An unsavoury amount of condiments, jars and oils used to cook merely one meal.
But it goes both ways – just as many items are lost, broken or chucked out. In the early days, while trying to impress guests in the hope of a glowing review, I used to buy posh jam (or what I thought was posh) and supermarket scones (taken out of the packet, so no one knows if they’re not posh anyway) to leave as a little “Welcome to England” gift.
I put them on a wooden chopping board for extra artisanal farmers' market vibes. I especially did it for those I knew were coming from abroad. Until one checkout, when I found the whole lot thrown in the bin by two research academics visiting from China – unopened posh jam and board included.
Complaints hotline buzzes at 5am
As any hotel concierge will attest, some guests love to moan. Most of mine had a particular knack for being vacuous whinge bags, as if I left an in-room phone with instructions reading: “Dial 0 to bleat.” But hosts live for reviews, so I had to act accordingly.
“Dean, the bulb in the bedside lamp has gone, please can you come and change it?” once rang a teary voice at 5am.
“Change it yourself,” I longed to reply.
“Righteroo, be there in a jiffy, madam,” I cooed instead.
“The iron burnt my shirt.” “I don't like the TV channels.” “I can smell the neighbour’s cooking.” “Why are Manchester’s trains always late?” “We can’t find the griddle pan” (like it’s a two-man job to find an item definitely not listed on the inventory, anyway).
On and on and on it goes. For check-ins, I'd always wait at the apartment for guests to arrive. After all, it was my own home, not something I bought specifically to rent out. I’d proudly show off the space, the quirky furniture, the spotless bathroom I scrubbed and diligently de-haired after every check-in. I’d bend over backwards to make it homely and share excellent insider knowledge of the city. They loved it, or so I thought.
How anyone can lurch between emotional states so quickly is beyond me. This was before Gen Z, too.
As soon as I'd be out the door those smiles quickly turned into riled demands – and back I’d go to get the welcome pack I pointed out five minutes earlier to type the Wi-Fi password into their own phones, run the tap until the water was hot enough for them, or provide directions and transport options better than Google Maps.
Finally, be prepared for competition. I was operating alone but still adopted the Ryanair model of sell it low, stack 'em high. For a fully furnished, fully equipped apartment that easily slept six, I charged less than a sorry two-star hotel nearby did – and half their rooms don’t even have windows. Occupancy was pretty much 100 per cent, but the latest report suggests it’s a little more than 50 per cent.
Then I realised greater peace came from prioritising longer-term bookings only, so I introduced a three-month minimum policy. And while it was bliss, the reviews dried up. And so did my love for it before I moved to Dubai in 2018. It wasn't all bad, of course. I ended with a 4.71 rating – I was 21, give me a break – and was probably one of the only millennial homeowners at the time.
Now there is greater competition for fewer guests – meaning those dreams of handing the keys to a middleman company and watching the pennies roll in while you relax on the beach might not be as close as you think. Many cities have also banned Airbnbs overnight completely or buildings refuse to let leaseholders run them, so bear those potential changes, and costs, in mind.
The only way to balance the books may be to grab the plunger yourself and get stuck in.
The five pillars of Islam
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Keep it fun and engaging
Stuart Ritchie, director of wealth advice at AES International, says children cannot learn something overnight, so it helps to have a fun routine that keeps them engaged and interested.
“I explain to my daughter that the money I draw from an ATM or the money on my bank card doesn’t just magically appear – it’s money I have earned from my job. I show her how this works by giving her little chores around the house so she can earn pocket money,” says Mr Ritchie.
His daughter is allowed to spend half of her pocket money, while the other half goes into a bank account. When this money hits a certain milestone, Mr Ritchie rewards his daughter with a small lump sum.
He also recommends books that teach the importance of money management for children, such as The Squirrel Manifesto by Ric Edelman and Jean Edelman.
Avatar: Fire and Ash
Director: James Cameron
Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana
Rating: 4.5/5
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Reading List
Practitioners of mindful eating recommend the following books to get you started:
Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life by Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr Lilian Cheung
How to Eat by Thich Nhat Hanh
The Mindful Diet by Dr Ruth Wolever
Mindful Eating by Dr Jan Bays
How to Raise a Mindful Eaterby Maryann Jacobsen
The Lowdown
Kesari
Rating: 2.5/5 stars
Produced by: Dharma Productions, Azure Entertainment
Directed by: Anubhav Singh
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Parineeti Chopra
The specs
Engine: four-litre V6 and 3.5-litre V6 twin-turbo
Transmission: six-speed and 10-speed
Power: 271 and 409 horsepower
Torque: 385 and 650Nm
Price: from Dh229,900 to Dh355,000
MATCH INFO
Manchester City 2 (Mahrez 04', Ake 84')
Leicester City 5 (Vardy 37' pen, 54', 58' pen, Maddison 77', Tielemans 88' pen)
Man of the match: Jamie Vardy (Leicester City)
Milestones on the road to union
1970
October 26: Bahrain withdraws from a proposal to create a federation of nine with the seven Trucial States and Qatar.
December: Ahmed Al Suwaidi visits New York to discuss potential UN membership.
1971
March 1: Alex Douglas Hume, Conservative foreign secretary confirms that Britain will leave the Gulf and “strongly supports” the creation of a Union of Arab Emirates.
July 12: Historic meeting at which Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid make a binding agreement to create what will become the UAE.
July 18: It is announced that the UAE will be formed from six emirates, with a proposed constitution signed. RAK is not yet part of the agreement.
August 6: The fifth anniversary of Sheikh Zayed becoming Ruler of Abu Dhabi, with official celebrations deferred until later in the year.
August 15: Bahrain becomes independent.
September 3: Qatar becomes independent.
November 23-25: Meeting with Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid and senior British officials to fix December 2 as date of creation of the UAE.
November 29: At 5.30pm Iranian forces seize the Greater and Lesser Tunbs by force.
November 30: Despite a power sharing agreement, Tehran takes full control of Abu Musa.
November 31: UK officials visit all six participating Emirates to formally end the Trucial States treaties
December 2: 11am, Dubai. New Supreme Council formally elects Sheikh Zayed as President. Treaty of Friendship signed with the UK. 11.30am. Flag raising ceremony at Union House and Al Manhal Palace in Abu Dhabi witnessed by Sheikh Khalifa, then Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi.
December 6: Arab League formally admits the UAE. The first British Ambassador presents his credentials to Sheikh Zayed.
December 9: UAE joins the United Nations.
UAE SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Ali Khaseif, Fahad Al Dhanhani, Mohammed Al Shamsi, Adel Al Hosani
Defenders: Bandar Al Ahbabi, Shaheen Abdulrahman, Walid Abbas, Mahmoud Khamis, Mohammed Barghash, Khalifa Al Hammadi, Hassan Al Mahrami, Yousef Jaber, Mohammed Al Attas
Midfielders: Ali Salmeen, Abdullah Ramadan, Abdullah Al Naqbi, Majed Hassan, Abdullah Hamad, Khalfan Mubarak, Khalil Al Hammadi, Tahnoun Al Zaabi, Harib Abdallah, Mohammed Jumah
Forwards: Fabio De Lima, Caio Canedo, Ali Saleh, Ali Mabkhout, Sebastian Tagliabue
Closing the loophole on sugary drinks
As The National reported last year, non-fizzy sugared drinks were not covered when the original tax was introduced in 2017. Sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, 20 grams of sugar per 500ml bottle.
The non-fizzy drink AriZona Iced Tea contains 65 grams of sugar – about 16 teaspoons – per 680ml can. The average can costs about Dh6, which would rise to Dh9.
Drinks such as Starbucks Bottled Mocha Frappuccino contain 31g of sugar in 270ml, while Nescafe Mocha in a can contains 15.6g of sugar in a 240ml can.
Flavoured water, long-life fruit juice concentrates, pre-packaged sweetened coffee drinks fall under the ‘sweetened drink’ category
Not taxed:
Freshly squeezed fruit juices, ground coffee beans, tea leaves and pre-prepared flavoured milkshakes do not come under the ‘sweetened drink’ band.
Three-day coronation
Royal purification
The entire coronation ceremony extends over three days from May 4-6, but Saturday is the one to watch. At the time of 10:09am the royal purification ceremony begins. Wearing a white robe, the king will enter a pavilion at the Grand Palace, where he will be doused in sacred water from five rivers and four ponds in Thailand. In the distant past water was collected from specific rivers in India, reflecting the influential blend of Hindu and Buddhist cosmology on the coronation. Hindu Brahmins and the country's most senior Buddhist monks will be present. Coronation practices can be traced back thousands of years to ancient India.
The crown
Not long after royal purification rites, the king proceeds to the Baisal Daksin Throne Hall where he receives sacred water from eight directions. Symbolically that means he has received legitimacy from all directions of the kingdom. He ascends the Bhadrapitha Throne, where in regal robes he sits under a Nine-Tiered Umbrella of State. Brahmins will hand the monarch the royal regalia, including a wooden sceptre inlaid with gold, a precious stone-encrusted sword believed to have been found in a lake in northern Cambodia, slippers, and a whisk made from yak's hair.
The Great Crown of Victory is the centrepiece. Tiered, gold and weighing 7.3 kilograms, it has a diamond from India at the top. Vajiralongkorn will personally place the crown on his own head and then issues his first royal command.
The audience
On Saturday afternoon, the newly-crowned king is set to grant a "grand audience" to members of the royal family, the privy council, the cabinet and senior officials. Two hours later the king will visit the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, the most sacred space in Thailand, which on normal days is thronged with tourists. He then symbolically moves into the Royal Residence.
The procession
The main element of Sunday's ceremonies, streets across Bangkok's historic heart have been blocked off in preparation for this moment. The king will sit on a royal palanquin carried by soldiers dressed in colourful traditional garb. A 21-gun salute will start the procession. Some 200,000 people are expected to line the seven-kilometre route around the city.
Meet the people
On the last day of the ceremony Rama X will appear on the balcony of Suddhaisavarya Prasad Hall in the Grand Palace at 4:30pm "to receive the good wishes of the people". An hour later, diplomats will be given an audience at the Grand Palace. This is the only time during the ceremony that representatives of foreign governments will greet the king.
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THE LOWDOWN
Romeo Akbar Walter
Rating: 2/5 stars
Produced by: Dharma Productions, Azure Entertainment
Directed by: Robby Grewal
Cast: John Abraham, Mouni Roy, Jackie Shroff and Sikandar Kher
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India cancels school-leaving examinations
How has net migration to UK changed?
The figure was broadly flat immediately before the Covid-19 pandemic, standing at 216,000 in the year to June 2018 and 224,000 in the year to June 2019.
It then dropped to an estimated 111,000 in the year to June 2020 when restrictions introduced during the pandemic limited travel and movement.
The total rose to 254,000 in the year to June 2021, followed by steep jumps to 634,000 in the year to June 2022 and 906,000 in the year to June 2023.
The latest available figure of 728,000 for the 12 months to June 2024 suggests levels are starting to decrease.
