Atlantis, The Palm in Dubai has been dubbed the "most ridiculous hotel in the world", but that doesn't come close. Baroque, absurd, kitsch beyond Elton John's wildest dreams: the lobby is filled by a giant glass fountain, all blues and yellows and reds, designed to look like giant coral rising some 20 metres, and surrounded by large columns that look as if they are encrusted by sea shells. It is ghastly. In fact, the hotel looks as though it has been designed by an eight-year old as a place to house her impressive collection of Barbie dolls. Instead of a solitary goldfish, she also came up with the idea of having a giant aquarium full of fish. Her best idea was Aquaventure, the giant waterpark in the grounds, full of waterslides and play areas for all ages.
The Palm Jumeirah is the glitziest part of the Gulf's loudest city. To reach Atlantis, you go through a tunnel under the sea, before emerging for air at the tip of the island. This is fine, although in busy times, you can expect a wait either in the tunnel or on the other side, as the rest of the Palm dwellers get into their cars at the same time. One day you will be able to catch the monorail from the city; now you just hear the sound of welding as you lie on your sun-lounger.
The hotel has cleverly shipped in a core of trained workers from Paradise Island, Sol Kerzner's hotel in the Bahamas. Everyone was friendly and jolly, even when they were quite useless. Our Japanese American waitress called Tammy was possibly the most charming and professional meal transportation technician I have ever had the pleasure of running across.
Dominated by a large, very comfortable bed, with a cunning arrangement in which the bath is hidden by a pair of wooden shutters that if opened, give you a view from the tub over Dubai. The room was good and almost tasteful, which cannot be said about the carpet in the corridor. There was a small terrace with a table and chairs.
Some 17 restaurants are dotted among the resort ranging from Japanese sushi to a French brasserie to a beach bar. Nobu's was spectacular, although my wife complained about the interior and I found the chairs unnecessarily hard. Breakfasts were enormous buffets of almost every cuisine imaginable and once you get over the irritation of serving yourself, rather enjoyable. Biggest nonsense was at Ronda Locatelli, an Italian restaurant. Despite my wife having reserved a table, when we arrived we were told to wait for five minutes, even though the place was half empty. We went instead to Rostang, a French brasserie. It was almost like being back on the Left Bank.
This is the place where everybody tries to dress like a 25-year old, even if they are 60. Russian models mix with Arab playboys, German businessmen with English consultants who try not to mention the war. This is the place to come if you are a child, or view the world with a child's eye. There is lots of entertainment and recreations for those under three feet tall, including kid's clubs and and a games room. No building in Dubai is complete without shops, and this is no different. If you get bored - how could you? - you can dispel the blues by heading to Tiffany's.
The spa. Had a massage from David, who while he may not have been the prettiest masseur I have ever had - apparently it's illegal in Dubai for a man to have a female masseur and vice versa - he was jolly handy with his hot stones. The complex is nicely designed, very restrained in comparison to the rest of the hotel, with stone floors, candles and running water, a splendid steam room, sauna and Jacuzzi and large heated stone chairs to lounge in.
Also loved the fish. There is a large cylinder full of sardines, prettier than any Damien Hirst, prehistoric crabs you can pick up and touch (but not eat) and of course, 52,000 other marine animals, including Sammy the whale shark, who everybody tells you is about to be released. There is also Dolphin Park, where you can kiss and cuddle dolphins if you so choose.
Having to pay for the internet. It may have been a good money spinner for hotels ten years ago, but now they need to give it for free or risk looking mean. What will they charge for next? The air-conditioning? The murals and much of the décor. Sometimes less really is more.
If you want sunshine, scary waterslides, celebrity restaurants and beaches with a stunning view of the Dubai skyline, this is the place to be. Everybody should visit this place once in their life - although many are unlikely to want to return. However, my children have decided that this is their favourite hotel in the world. They can go on their own, without my gold card.
Doubles at Atlantis (www.atlantisthepalm.com; 04 226 0000) cost from Dh1,660 per night excluding breakfast (Dh140).
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
Company%20profile
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The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
Results
5pm: Al Maha Stables – Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (Turf) 1,600m; Winner: Reem Baynounah, Fernando Jara (jockey), Mohamed Daggash (trainer)
5.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup – Maiden (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: AF Afham, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
6pm: Emirates Fillies Classic – Prestige (PA) Dh100,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Ghallieah, Sebastien Martino, Jean-Claude Pecout
6.30pm: Emirates Colts Classic – Prestige (PA) Dh100,000 (T) 1,600m; Winner: Yas Xmnsor, Saif Al Balushi, Khalifa Al Neyadi
7pm: The President’s Cup – Group 1 (PA) Dh2,500,000 (T) 2,200m; Winner: Somoud, Adrie de Vries, Jean de Roualle
7.30pm: The President’s Cup – Listed (TB) Dh380,000 (T) 1,400m; Winner: Haqeeqy, Dane O’Neill, John Hyde.
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
Emergency phone numbers in the UAE
Estijaba – 8001717 – number to call to request coronavirus testing
Ministry of Health and Prevention – 80011111
Dubai Health Authority – 800342 – The number to book a free video or voice consultation with a doctor or connect to a local health centre
Emirates airline – 600555555
Etihad Airways – 600555666
Ambulance – 998
Knowledge and Human Development Authority – 8005432 ext. 4 for Covid-19 queries
The specs: 2018 Mercedes-Benz GLA
Price, base / as tested Dh150,900 / Dh173,600
Engine 2.0L inline four-cylinder
Transmission Seven-speed automatic
Power 211hp @ 5,500rpm
Torque 350Nm @ 1,200rpm
Fuel economy, combined 6.4L / 100km
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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MATCH INFO
Norwich City 0 Southampton 3 (Ings 49', Armstrong 54', Redmond 79')
Racecard
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Straightforward ways to reduce sugar in your family's diet
- Ban fruit juice and sodas
- Eat a hearty breakfast that contains fats and wholegrains, such as peanut butter on multigrain toast or full-fat plain yoghurt with whole fruit and nuts, to avoid the need for a 10am snack
- Give young children plain yoghurt with whole fruits mashed into it
- Reduce the number of cakes, biscuits and sweets. Reserve them for a treat
- Don’t eat dessert every day
- Make your own smoothies. Always use the whole fruit to maintain the benefit of its fibre content and don’t add any sweeteners
- Always go for natural whole foods over processed, packaged foods. Ask yourself would your grandmother have eaten it?
- Read food labels if you really do feel the need to buy processed food
- Eat everything in moderation
McLaren GT specs
Engine: 4-litre twin-turbo V8
Transmission: seven-speed
Power: 620bhp
Torque: 630Nm
Price: Dh875,000
On sale: now
Sri Lanka v England
First Test, at Galle
England won by 211
Second Test, at Kandy
England won by 57 runs
Third Test, at Colombo
From Nov 23-27
MATCH INFO
Hoffenheim v Liverpool
Uefa Champions League play-off, first leg
Location: Rhein-Neckar-Arena, Sinsheim
Kick-off: Tuesday, 10.45pm (UAE)
Jigra
Starring: Alia Bhatt, Vedang Raina, Manoj Pahwa, Harsh Singh
Company profile
Company name: Dharma
Date started: 2018
Founders: Charaf El Mansouri, Nisma Benani, Leah Howe
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: TravelTech
Funding stage: Pre-series A
Investors: Convivialite Ventures, BY Partners, Shorooq Partners, L& Ventures, Flat6Labs
Tree of Hell
Starring: Raed Zeno, Hadi Awada, Dr Mohammad Abdalla
Director: Raed Zeno
Rating: 4/5
Thank You for Banking with Us
Director: Laila Abbas
Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum
Rating: 4/5
Know your cyber adversaries
Cryptojacking: Compromises a device or network to mine cryptocurrencies without an organisation's knowledge.
Distributed denial-of-service: Floods systems, servers or networks with information, effectively blocking them.
Man-in-the-middle attack: Intercepts two-way communication to obtain information, spy on participants or alter the outcome.
Malware: Installs itself in a network when a user clicks on a compromised link or email attachment.
Phishing: Aims to secure personal information, such as passwords and credit card numbers.
Ransomware: Encrypts user data, denying access and demands a payment to decrypt it.
Spyware: Collects information without the user's knowledge, which is then passed on to bad actors.
Trojans: Create a backdoor into systems, which becomes a point of entry for an attack.
Viruses: Infect applications in a system and replicate themselves as they go, just like their biological counterparts.
Worms: Send copies of themselves to other users or contacts. They don't attack the system, but they overload it.
Zero-day exploit: Exploits a vulnerability in software before a fix is found.
TRAP
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue
Director: M Night Shyamalan
Rating: 3/5
Cherry
Directed by: Joe and Anthony Russo
Starring: Tom Holland, Ciara Bravo
1/5
PREMIER LEAGUE FIXTURES
All times UAE ( 4 GMT)
Saturday
West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur (3.30pm)
Burnley v Huddersfield Town (7pm)
Everton v Bournemouth (7pm)
Manchester City v Crystal Palace (7pm)
Southampton v Manchester United (7pm)
Stoke City v Chelsea (7pm)
Swansea City v Watford (7pm)
Leicester City v Liverpool (8.30pm)
Sunday
Brighton and Hove Albion v Newcastle United (7pm)
Monday
Arsenal v West Bromwich Albion (11pm)
Rajasthan Royals 153-5 (17.5 ov)
Delhi Daredevils 60-4 (6 ov)
Rajasthan won by 10 runs (D/L method)
Recycle Reuse Repurpose
New central waste facility on site at expo Dubai South area to handle estimated 173 tonne of waste generated daily by millions of visitors
Recyclables such as plastic, paper, glass will be collected from bins on the expo site and taken to the new expo Central Waste Facility on site
Organic waste will be processed at the new onsite Central Waste Facility, treated and converted into compost to be re-used to green the expo area
Of 173 tonnes of waste daily, an estimated 39 per cent will be recyclables, 48 per cent organic waste and 13 per cent general waste.
About 147 tonnes will be recycled and converted to new products at another existing facility in Ras Al Khor
Recycling at Ras Al Khor unit:
Plastic items to be converted to plastic bags and recycled
Paper pulp moulded products such as cup carriers, egg trays, seed pots, and food packaging trays
Glass waste into bowls, lights, candle holders, serving trays and coasters
Aim is for 85 per cent of waste from the site to be diverted from landfill
The%20specs
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