Blackmail and bullies: the dark side of modern society



This newspaper has previously reported on legal cases involving blackmail or attempted blackmail.

However, not all such incidents get to court. Some fall to the social services to resolve.

Last year, I served as an intern at the Social Support Centre in Abu Dhabi and saw a wide variety of such cases.

What really caught my attention were those incidents that involved either blackmail or intimidation in premarital relationships.

The most common type of blackmail in this context involved men who threatened to tell their girlfriend's family about their affair, or else intimidated their victims by suggesting they would leak private photos into the public domain, most often via social media.

What these cases have in common is the idea that the victim will be disgraced, her reputation damaged and her family or relatives scandalised, by the publication of information, photographs or videos that were originally intended to be private.

There are also other, less common but similar forms of abuse, such as emotional blackmail.

In all the examples above, some offenders were Emiratis, but many others were from elsewhere in the region.

What really amazed me was that there were even a few cases in which the blackmailer was female. For example, one incident involved a woman who threatened to inform a man's wife about the affair she had been conducting with him.

I was also surprised to find that the highest percentage of victims were female undergraduates and graduates, rather than naive teenagers.

These are not isolated cases, either.

A study by Hanan Al Raisi of the Social Support Centre suggests that reported cases of blackmail (and other threats in premarital relationships) have increased from one every six to eight months in 2011 to one every week so far this year.

There are many possible explanation for this noticeable spike in intimidation.

The main one is that victims may be involved in premarital relationships that fill emotional needs but are not deemed to be culturally acceptable. Such a situation leaves the victim vulnerable to abuse. So too do unhealthy or dysfunctional family relationships.

In such cases a blackmailer may seize the opportunity to extort money from a victim.

I also encountered a few cases in which blackmailers threatened to inform the victim's family about an affair if the victim refused to pay what amounted to "hush" money. And in other instances the blackmailer used the threat of embarrassment in an attempt to procure sexual favours from the victim.

As these cases become more common, young people need to know how to protect themselves.

One way is to never let anyone have material you would be reluctant to see made public on Facebook or on other types of social media.

But if you do encounter a problem of this kind, you should know that there are places and people to help you that specialise in dealing with such problems, especially the organisation at which I interned. Parents also have an important role in such situations: communication is key.

Ebtisam Mahmoud Thoban is a graduate of Abu Dhabi's Zayed University

Sustainable Development Goals

1. End poverty in all its forms everywhere

2. End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition and promote sustainable agriculture

3. Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages

4. Ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all

5. Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls

6. Ensure availability and sustainable management of water and sanitation for all

7. Ensure access to affordable, reliable, sustainable and modern energy for all

8. Promote sustained, inclusive and sustainable economic growth, full and productive employment and decent work for all

9. Build resilient infrastructure, promote inclusive and sustainable industrialisation and foster innovation

10. Reduce inequality  within and among countries

11. Make cities and human settlements inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable

12. Ensure sustainable consumption and production patterns

13. Take urgent action to combat climate change and its effects

14. Conserve and sustainably use the oceans, seas and marine resources for sustainable development

15. Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss

16. Promote peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development, provide access to justice for all and build effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels

17. Strengthen the means of implementation and revitalise the global partnership for sustainable development

No more lice

Defining head lice

Pediculus humanus capitis are tiny wingless insects that feed on blood from the human scalp. The adult head louse is up to 3mm long, has six legs, and is tan to greyish-white in colour. The female lives up to four weeks and, once mature, can lay up to 10 eggs per day. These tiny nits firmly attach to the base of the hair shaft, get incubated by body heat and hatch in eight days or so.

Identifying lice

Lice can be identified by itching or a tickling sensation of something moving within the hair. One can confirm that a person has lice by looking closely through the hair and scalp for nits, nymphs or lice. Head lice are most frequently located behind the ears and near the neckline.

Treating lice at home

Head lice must be treated as soon as they are spotted. Start by checking everyone in the family for them, then follow these steps. Remove and wash all clothing and bedding with hot water. Apply medicine according to the label instructions. If some live lice are still found eight to 12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not re-treat. Comb dead and remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine-toothed comb.
After the initial treatment, check for, comb and remove nits and lice from hair every two to three days. Soak combs and brushes in hot water for 10 minutes.Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay.

Courtesy Dr Vishal Rajmal Mehta, specialist paediatrics, RAK Hospital

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