Just the other day, as Barack Obama honoured the US women’s football team for winning the World Cup, he said: “They’ve inspired millions of girls to dream bigger and ... inspired millions of boys to look at girls differently, which is just as important.”
The president reminded me that growing up hearing things like “kicking like a girl” was considered an insult, because being a girl meant being weak and unathletic. It seemed like a women’s national team had to win a championship to change how girls in sports are viewed. How come no one questions the men’s football team’s legitimacy? I want to live in a world where doing anything “like a girl” is not inherently worse than “like a boy”.
This reminded me why feminism is so important. Feminism, simply put, is “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” It has nothing to do with bringing about a battle of the sexes.
What continues to shock me is the amount of people who either dismiss feminism, continue to see it as an unnecessary movement, or distort what feminism is all about. A male friend of mine once argued that he was uncomfortable with the term and that all a woman needed was education and financial independence. I wish the solution was so simple. I am educated and financially independent, and yet I continue to struggle with misogyny on a regular basis. In addition, his argument removes any responsibility from men to change or even be aware of the privileges they enjoy.
Despite the many strides that have been made across the world, we still predominantly live in patriarchal societies, some much worse off than others. Just recently Malala Yousafzai’s documentary reminds us that in many parts of the world women are banned from getting an education, and when they try, grown men attempt to kill them. While this is an extreme scenario, even here, where women’s rights are championed, we still lack appropriate maternity leave laws and are expected to take on most of the child rearing duties. In addition, women suffer daily microagressions and are taught to either deal with the situation or feel ashamed or guilty for somehow having caused them.
In Islam, respect and protection of women and their position within society is a responsibility placed on men, but unfortunately this has been used in many situations to control women and their freedom. Instead of ensuring that public spaces are safe for women, most societies have addressed this problem by restricting women. Girls should stay at home, away from danger, whereas boys are often taught to roam freely. These double standards need to be eradicated to engender a healthy society.
It’s really upsetting when discussing these issues with my friends (both here and around the world) many women wouldn’t be comfortable reporting assault or harassment to the authorities or to their communities because they do not trust the social or legal response they might receive. We still live in societies where the focus is on teaching women how to prevent rape, instead of teaching boys and men that there is a zero-tolerance policy on the issue. This line of reasoning does not promote personal irresponsibility, rather it focuses on promoting a culture that doesn’t excuse violence and inequality.
But most importantly, empowering women doesn’t mean belittling or punishing men. Men, too, suffer from gender role assumptions. If we encourage working together to promote gender equality then I think society would better understand the ways in which men’s issues and women’s issues are interwoven.
Feminism isn’t about telling women what to do. It is giving them the ability and freedom to be able to choose to do whatever they want to do. It comes from believing women should be treated the same as men, not because they’re better, but because they’re human.
Fatima Al Shamsi is a globetrotting Emirati foodie, film buff and football fanatic