Pop quiz. What is the most local of all the local derbies in English football?
Tomorrow's north London clash? No. The Emirates to White Hart Lane is 4.2 miles by car. That is practically a different country.
Sheffield? You are getting warmer. Bramhall Lane to Hillsborough is a mere 3.6 miles.
Surely it has to be Liverpool? Anfield to Goodison is just 0.8 miles by road. Well … not exactly.
One could argue that the most local derby ever is to take place in just over two weeks' time, in the second round of the FA Cup.
MK Dons versus AFC Wimbledon: two clubs separated by 0.0 miles. Not so much a local derby as a Greek tragedy made flesh.
For anyone planning to make the trip, I should point out that I am talking genetical, not geographical, distance. (It is actually 65 miles or so from south London to Milton Keynes, so you will need transport of some kind.)
MK Dons and AFC Wimbledon are twins, you see. A pair of siblings rent from the womb of their penniless mother, dear old Wimbledon FC, as she breathed her last in the early noughties.
One of the twins was adopted by a wealthy, childless couple and whisked away to their lavish home in sterile suburbia, along with his mother's only valuable possession: a silver locket with a key guaranteeing entry to the mythical Garden of Football Paradise. OK, it was to Football League One - but it was still unclear which the wealthy couple treasured more, the boy or his key.
They named him MK Dons and, every other week, the wealthy couple would invite the neighbours around to watch their son play football in their capacious back garden.
And, dutifully, the neighbours came to cheer him on. Unless, of course, their own beloved sons (Arsenal, Manchester United, Aston Villa) were playing that day.
The other twin, meanwhile, was tossed on to the street and left to die. Thankfully, he was taken in by humble shepherds who named him AFC Wimbledon.
These kind peasants had no lavish home to offer their new son, nor a lavish back garden for ball games.
However, they showered him with love and praise, scraped together enough money for a pair of boots, and sent him out to play football on any piece of scrappy old waste land they could find.
And they, too, invited the neighbours around to watch the boy play - an invitation which many accepted not dutifully, but joyfully, for they had known and loved his poor old mother.
Even without a silver locket, the lad was good. He won 78 consecutive matches as he climbed from the lowly origins of the Combined Counties League (the ninth tier of English football) to Football League Two (the fourth tier) in just nine seasons.
Like all great tragedies, it was inevitable these siblings would meet on the field of battle. Also like all great tragedies, it is far more entertaining for the audience than the characters involved.
Neither club wanted this match to happen. MK Dons are embarrassed by how the club came about - their chairman Pete Winkelman said so this week, and has previously relinquished any official claim to Wimbledon's "history".
AFC fans, meanwhile, are divided as to whether they should even attend the match on December 2, having previously asked fans of other clubs to boycott MK Dons.
But for the neutrals - and of course the broadcasters - it is a mouth-watering clash like no other. In a week when worldwide broadcasting rights to the English Premier League 2013/14 season topped £5 billion (Dh29bn), it is also a timely reminder that the FA Cup can still deliver fairy tales - or tragedies - for a fraction of the cost.
sport@thenational.ae
MWTC info
Tickets to the MWTC range from Dh100 and can be purchased from www.ticketmaster.ae or by calling 800 86 823 from within the UAE or 971 4 366 2289 from outside the country and all Virgin Megastores. Fans looking to attend all three days of the MWTC can avail of a special 20 percent discount on ticket prices.
The specs
Engine: Dual 180kW and 300kW front and rear motors
Power: 480kW
Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh359,900 ($98,000)
On sale: Now
The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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ENGLAND SQUAD
Goalkeepers Henderson, Johnstone, Pickford, Ramsdale
Defenders Alexander-Arnold, Chilwell, Coady, Godfrey, James, Maguire, Mings, Shaw, Stones, Trippier, Walker, White
Midfielders Bellingham, Henderson, Lingard, Mount, Phillips, Rice, Ward-Prowse
Forwards Calvert-Lewin, Foden, Grealish, Greenwood, Kane, Rashford, Saka, Sancho, Sterling, Watkins
THE DEALS
Hamilton $60m x 2 = $120m
Vettel $45m x 2 = $90m
Ricciardo $35m x 2 = $70m
Verstappen $55m x 3 = $165m
Leclerc $20m x 2 = $40m
TOTAL $485m
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Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
MATCH INFO
Rugby World Cup (all times UAE)
Final: England v South Africa, Saturday, 1pm
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
PROFILE
Name: Enhance Fitness
Year started: 2018
Based: UAE
Employees: 200
Amount raised: $3m
Investors: Global Ventures and angel investors
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Citadel: Honey Bunny first episode
Directors: Raj & DK
Stars: Varun Dhawan, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Kashvi Majmundar, Kay Kay Menon
Rating: 4/5
The specs
Engine: 3.9-litre twin-turbo V8
Power: 620hp from 5,750-7,500rpm
Torque: 760Nm from 3,000-5,750rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed dual-clutch auto
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh1.05 million ($286,000)
23-man shortlist for next six Hall of Fame inductees
Tony Adams, David Beckham, Dennis Bergkamp, Sol Campbell, Eric Cantona, Andrew Cole, Ashley Cole, Didier Drogba, Les Ferdinand, Rio Ferdinand, Robbie Fowler, Steven Gerrard, Roy Keane, Frank Lampard, Matt Le Tissier, Michael Owen, Peter Schmeichel, Paul Scholes, John Terry, Robin van Persie, Nemanja Vidic, Patrick Viera, Ian Wright.
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Some of Darwish's last words
"They see their tomorrows slipping out of their reach. And though it seems to them that everything outside this reality is heaven, yet they do not want to go to that heaven. They stay, because they are afflicted with hope." - Mahmoud Darwish, to attendees of the Palestine Festival of Literature, 2008
His life in brief: Born in a village near Galilee, he lived in exile for most of his life and started writing poetry after high school. He was arrested several times by Israel for what were deemed to be inciteful poems. Most of his work focused on the love and yearning for his homeland, and he was regarded the Palestinian poet of resistance. Over the course of his life, he published more than 30 poetry collections and books of prose, with his work translated into more than 20 languages. Many of his poems were set to music by Arab composers, most significantly Marcel Khalife. Darwish died on August 9, 2008 after undergoing heart surgery in the United States. He was later buried in Ramallah where a shrine was erected in his honour.
Business Insights
- As per the document, there are six filing options, including choosing to report on a realisation basis and transitional rules for pre-tax period gains or losses.
- SMEs with revenue below Dh3 million per annum can opt for transitional relief until 2026, treating them as having no taxable income.
- Larger entities have specific provisions for asset and liability movements, business restructuring, and handling foreign permanent establishments.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Wicked
Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
