Growing up on a steady feed of Test cricket, it was difficult for me to fathom why George Orwell thought sport was "war minus the shooting".
There was nothing war-like about gangly, and some pot-bellied, men standing motionless inside an oval, patient as they wait for something to happen. Back then, Test matches even had a "rest" day and most matches ended in a stalemate.
The football we watched was played at a leisurely pace; there were still no telecast of the Premier League or La Liga. Tennis got as bad as John McEnroe throwing a tantrum or racket.
On Friday night, however, I watched my first game of rugby and Orwell's words seemed a lot more comprehensible.
Yes, I had never watched rugby before, till I drove down to the Emirates Sevens on the Dubai-Al Ain road for a rugby league friendly between the visiting English amateur side Saddleworth Rangers and our own UAE Falcons.
Back home in India, I had once been to a charity game between our celluloid stars and other celebrities, but that should not count. It was not the rugby that the world plays and I hardly remember anything anyway.
Friday night will remain a lot more vivid; first for the difficult dusty, muggy conditions and then for the bone-crushing masochism on the field; and, of course, for finally understanding the import of Orwell's words.
Rugby, indeed, seems like war with men arrayed like infantries of yore. Some teams even indulge in pre-game rituals that are described by laymen as war dances.
Once the game starts, men bolt towards each other, storming ahead like a Hunnic cavalry charge. The one with the ball narrows his shoulders, like a cat of prey, as he dashes through enemy territory. Men from the other side, run at him, their arms outstretched, as if holding an invisible club or worse.
You can hear the bone-crushing thuds from far as they grapple to the ground, the lone attackers head being rubbed into the ground. Generally, the players maul and clobber each other, reveling "in a state of Armageddon", as someone pointed out.
Oscar Wilde thought a rugby match was "a good occasion for keeping 30 bullies far from the centre of the city". PG Wodehouse was surprised that rugby allowed things "which, if done elsewhere, would result in 14 days, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench".
Prudes may wince at the sadism of it all, but brutalizing is what makes the sport so wide-reaching in appeal. I have not been witness to the other code, but to take the words of an expert, former Wales international Adrian Hadley, "league is much, much more physical than union, and that's before they start breaking the rules".
My friends claim league is faster and more exciting, with the ball always in motion; in union, it is usually stuck under a pile of bodies. In league, most of the points come from tries; in union, they come from penalties. The biggest difference, as many opine, is that rugby league is "a gentleman's game played by thugs", and union "a thug's game played by gentlemen".
I will have to wait till I watch a union game to make my own assessments. But did I enjoy watching league rugby? Of course I did. Contact sport seem to hold an intrinsic appeal for humans. It is the animal in us, they say. That is why thousands packed the coliseums to watch the gladiators and blood sports.
But would I take the field against 250llb hulks? I could dare, but, to borrow former New Zealand coach Graham Lowe's phrase, "I would not last 30 seconds".
arizvi@thenational.ae
Scoreline
Bournemouth 2
Wilson 70', Ibe 74'
Arsenal 1
Bellerin 52'
Tree of Hell
Starring: Raed Zeno, Hadi Awada, Dr Mohammad Abdalla
Director: Raed Zeno
Rating: 4/5
Company%20Profile
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KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
IF YOU GO
The flights: FlyDubai offers direct flights to Catania Airport from Dubai International Terminal 2 daily with return fares starting from Dh1,895.
The details: Access to the 2,900-metre elevation point at Mount Etna by cable car and 4x4 transport vehicle cost around €57.50 (Dh248) per adult. Entry into Teatro Greco costs €10 (Dh43). For more go to www.visitsicily.info
Where to stay: Hilton Giardini Naxos offers beachfront access and accessible to Taormina and Mount Etna. Rooms start from around €130 (Dh561) per night, including taxes.
Thank You for Banking with Us
Director: Laila Abbas
Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum
Rating: 4/5
SHAITTAN
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The bio:
Favourite holiday destination: I really enjoyed Sri Lanka and Vietnam but my dream destination is the Maldives.
Favourite food: My mum’s Chinese cooking.
Favourite film: Robocop, followed by The Terminator.
Hobbies: Off-roading, scuba diving, playing squash and going to the gym.
COMPANY PROFILE
● Company: Bidzi
● Started: 2024
● Founders: Akshay Dosaj and Asif Rashid
● Based: Dubai, UAE
● Industry: M&A
● Funding size: Bootstrapped
● No of employees: Nine
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
57%20Seconds
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
MATCH INFO
Tottenham Hotspur 3 (Son 1', Kane 8' & 16') West Ham United 3 (Balbuena 82', Sanchez og 85', Lanzini 90' 4)
Man of the match Harry Kane
Juliet, Naked
Dir: Jesse Peretz
Starring: Chris O'Dowd, Rose Byrne, Ethan Hawke
Two stars
box
COMPANY PROFILE
Company name: Letstango.com
Started: June 2013
Founder: Alex Tchablakian
Based: Dubai
Industry: e-commerce
Initial investment: Dh10 million
Investors: Self-funded
Total customers: 300,000 unique customers every month
Results
International 4, United States 1
Justin Thomas and Tiger Woods (US) beat Marc Leishman and Joaquin Niemann (International) 4 and 3.
Adam Hadwin and Sungjae Im (International) beat Xander Schauffele and Patrick Cantlay (US) 2 up.
Adam Scott and Byeong Hun An (International) beat Bryson DeChambeau and Tony Finau (US) 2 and 1.
Hideki Matsuyama and C.T. Pan (International) beat Webb Simpson and Patrick Reed (US) 1 up.
Abraham Ancer and Louis Oosthuizen (International) beat Dustin Johnson and Gary Woodland (US) 4 and 3.
Jigra
Starring: Alia Bhatt, Vedang Raina, Manoj Pahwa, Harsh Singh
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Kill%20
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Sri Lanka-India Test series schedule
- 1st Test India won by 304 runs at Galle
- 2nd Test Thursday-Monday at Colombo
- 3rd Test August 12-16 at Pallekele
THREE
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How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
The specs
Engine: Dual 180kW and 300kW front and rear motors
Power: 480kW
Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh359,900 ($98,000)
On sale: Now
The Cairo Statement
1: Commit to countering all types of terrorism and extremism in all their manifestations
2: Denounce violence and the rhetoric of hatred
3: Adhere to the full compliance with the Riyadh accord of 2014 and the subsequent meeting and executive procedures approved in 2014 by the GCC
4: Comply with all recommendations of the Summit between the US and Muslim countries held in May 2017 in Saudi Arabia.
5: Refrain from interfering in the internal affairs of countries and of supporting rogue entities.
6: Carry out the responsibility of all the countries with the international community to counter all manifestations of extremism and terrorism that threaten international peace and security
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, first leg
Liverpool v Roma
When: April 24, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Anfield, Liverpool
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 2, Stadio Olimpico, Rome
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-finals, first leg
Liverpool v Roma
When: April 24, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Anfield, Liverpool
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 2, Stadio Olimpico, Rome
Company%20Profile
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Singham Again
Director: Rohit Shetty
Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone
Rating: 3/5
Aldar Properties Abu Dhabi T10
*November 15 to November 24
*Venue: Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
*Tickets: Start at Dh10, from ttensports.com
*TV: Ten Sports
*Streaming: Jio Live
*2017 winners: Kerala Kings
*2018 winners: Northern Warriors
Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE
Results
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Scream%20VI
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The specs
Engine: 77.4kW all-wheel-drive dual motor
Power: 320bhp
Torque: 605Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh219,000
On sale: Now