When I first started in the television business, a typical 30-minute comedy show was really only 25 minutes.
It was 25 minutes of scripted entertainment and five minutes of commercials, which seemed like a pretty good deal at the time, if you were part of the viewing audience.
You had a little commercial message at the top of the show, some network promotional announcements, then the first half of a story - what we called grandly, like Shakespeare might have, "Act One". Then there would be some advertisements that were unrelated to the content of the show itself, then back for "Act Two". Finally, a few commercials to cushion the transition between programmes.
Like everything else these days, it's pretty much the same as it was then. Except worse.
Now, a 30-minute show is about 20 minutes of scripted story and 10 minutes of commercials, and those are tucked in all over the place - a lot of shows now have three acts, not two. This doesn't make the storytelling any better but does allow more opportunities to sell the viewer complicated new cars, mobile telephones and snacks.
But as basic economics has taught us, whenever you increase the supply of something - in this case, ads for energy drinks - you decrease the value of them, so television networks (and their paymasters, the advertisers) are always looking for new ways to capture the "mindshare" of the audience.Or, more accurately, they want to capture the eyeballs of the audience. They want your eyeballs, not your mindshare, because mindshare means your mind is thinking, and that's not what advertisers want you to be doing.
They want their messages to go directly into your eyeballs, right into the part of your brain that sees a lot of fit, attractive, happy young people eating piles of fast food and accepts that you will be like themif you too begin to eat piles of fast food.
Money is tight all over, so you can't really blame television networks for increasing their ad space. Unfortunately for them, technology has given the viewer more and more clever ways to zap through the commercials, making them less effective.That means the networks have to add more ad slots, inspiring new ways to ignore them, and resulting in what we've got now, which is television advertisers chasing viewers the way Wile E Coyote chased the Road Runner. More ads, more zapping, more ads, more zapping.
The zapping always wins.
What advertisers have resorted to, I'm sure you've noticed, is something called "integrated advertising", which is really just a new fancy way of saying what we used to call "product placement". An advertiser pays a network and a studio to have characters interact with a brand within the show(within the already dwindling 20 minutes of story).
When I started as a television writer, the studio and network demanded that wesign an oath swearing not to do this - they called it "plug-ola", and what they were worried about was writers sneaking in product placements for secret payoffs.
Now that they've figured out a way to direct those payoffs to the studios and networks, they don't call it "plug-ola" anymore. They call it "integrated advertising". And they make us do it.
It's sort of a fact of life, really, if you're in the television business.Everyone does it - the economics of the industry dictate it, frankly. The trick is to figure out a way to integrate a brand message into the story or dialogue without ...
Excuse me. I just need a sip of this delicious Diet Coke. There. So perfect.
... without it seeming forced and fake. Without taking the viewer out of the story. Without turning a good story about characters who the audience identifies with into nothing more than a ...
Just a moment. Just took another sip of this delicious Diet Coke. Now, that's real refreshment.
…nothing more than a shameless plug for a product that no one really needs. The trick is to do it with grace and art. So as not to disturb the viewer's mindshare and activate their zapping technology.
You can't see it, but the beads of condensation on this can of Diet Coke are really attractive.
It's not impossible, of course. But it takes a certain amount of style to keep the story moving. But in the new reality of television advertising - and, who knows? probably every other communication medium there is, including newspapers - the only way to keep the profits flowing is to hide advertisements all over the place and hope no one notices.
By the way, have you seen my new BlackBerry? It's really terrific.
Company%20profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMaly%20Tech%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202023%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Mo%20Ibrahim%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%20International%20Financial%20Centre%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20FinTech%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunds%20raised%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%241.6%20million%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECurrent%20number%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2015%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPre-seed%2C%20planning%20first%20seed%20round%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20GCC-based%20angel%20investors%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
More from Neighbourhood Watch:
Fixture and table
UAE finals day: Friday, April 13 at Rugby Park, Dubai Sports City
- 3pm, UAE Conference: Dubai Tigers v Sharjah Wanderers
- 6.30pm, UAE Premiership: Dubai Exiles v Abu Dhabi Harlequins
UAE Premiership – final standings
- Dubai Exiles
- Abu Dhabi Harlequins
- Jebel Ali Dragons
- Dubai Hurricanes
- Dubai Sports City Eagles
- Abu Dhabi Saracens
Libya's Gold
UN Panel of Experts found regime secretly sold a fifth of the country's gold reserves.
The panel’s 2017 report followed a trail to West Africa where large sums of cash and gold were hidden by Abdullah Al Senussi, Qaddafi’s former intelligence chief, in 2011.
Cases filled with cash that was said to amount to $560m in 100 dollar notes, that was kept by a group of Libyans in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.
A second stash was said to have been held in Accra, Ghana, inside boxes at the local offices of an international human rights organisation based in France.
JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH
Directed by: Shaka King
Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Lakeith Stanfield, Jesse Plemons
Four stars
Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Cargoz%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EDate%20started%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20January%202022%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Premlal%20Pullisserry%20and%20Lijo%20Antony%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2030%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Seed%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Farasan Boat: 128km Away from Anchorage
Director: Mowaffaq Alobaid
Stars: Abdulaziz Almadhi, Mohammed Al Akkasi, Ali Al Suhaibani
Rating: 4/5
Five expert hiking tips
Always check the weather forecast before setting off
Make sure you have plenty of water
Set off early to avoid sudden weather changes in the afternoon
Wear appropriate clothing and footwear
Take your litter home with you
Business Insights
- Canada and Mexico are significant energy suppliers to the US, providing the majority of oil and natural gas imports
- The introduction of tariffs could hinder the US's clean energy initiatives by raising input costs for materials like nickel
- US domestic suppliers might benefit from higher prices, but overall oil consumption is expected to decrease due to elevated costs
ICC Awards for 2021
MEN
Cricketer of the Year – Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan)
T20 Cricketer of the Year – Mohammad Rizwan (Pakistan)
ODI Cricketer of the Year – Babar Azam (Pakistan)
Test Cricketer of the Year – Joe Root (England)
WOMEN
Cricketer of the Year – Smriti Mandhana (India)
ODI Cricketer of the Year – Lizelle Lee (South Africa)
T20 Cricketer of the Year – Tammy Beaumont (England)
$1,000 award for 1,000 days on madrasa portal
Daily cash awards of $1,000 dollars will sweeten the Madrasa e-learning project by tempting more pupils to an education portal to deepen their understanding of math and sciences.
School children are required to watch an educational video each day and answer a question related to it. They then enter into a raffle draw for the $1,000 prize.
“We are targeting everyone who wants to learn. This will be $1,000 for 1,000 days so there will be a winner every day for 1,000 days,” said Sara Al Nuaimi, project manager of the Madrasa e-learning platform that was launched on Tuesday by the Vice President and Ruler of Dubai, to reach Arab pupils from kindergarten to grade 12 with educational videos.
“The objective of the Madrasa is to become the number one reference for all Arab students in the world. The 5,000 videos we have online is just the beginning, we have big ambitions. Today in the Arab world there are 50 million students. We want to reach everyone who is willing to learn.”
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Company%20Profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hoopla%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EDate%20started%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMarch%202023%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounder%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Jacqueline%20Perrottet%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dubai%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2010%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20stage%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPre-seed%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%20required%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%24500%2C000%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs
Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
On sale: Now
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
More on Quran memorisation:
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
What is double taxation?
- Americans living abroad file taxes with the Internal Revenue Service, which can cost hundreds of dollars to complete even though about 60 per cent do not owe taxes, according to the Taxpayer Advocate Service
- Those obligations apply to millions of Americans residing overseas – estimates range from 3.9 million to 5.5 million – including so-called "accidental Americans" who are unaware they hold dual citizenship
- The double taxation policy has been a contentious issue for decades, with many overseas Americans feeling that it punishes them for pursuing opportunities abroad
- Unlike most countries, the US follows a citizenship-based taxation system, meaning that Americans must file taxes annually, even if they do not earn any income in the US.
TO A LAND UNKNOWN
Director: Mahdi Fleifel
Starring: Mahmoud Bakri, Aram Sabbah, Mohammad Alsurafa
Rating: 4.5/5
A timeline of the Historical Dictionary of the Arabic Language
- 2018: Formal work begins
- November 2021: First 17 volumes launched
- November 2022: Additional 19 volumes released
- October 2023: Another 31 volumes released
- November 2024: All 127 volumes completed
WORLD'S%2010%20HIGHEST%20MOUNTAINS
%3Cp%3E1.%09Everest%0D%3Cbr%3E2.%09K2%0D%3Cbr%3E3.%09Kangchenjunga%0D%3Cbr%3E4.%09Lhotse%0D%3Cbr%3E5.%09Makalu%0D%3Cbr%3E6.%09Cho%20Oyu%0D%3Cbr%3E7.%09Dhaulagiri%0D%3Cbr%3E8.%09Manaslu%0D%3Cbr%3E9.%09Nanga%20Parbat%0D%3Cbr%3E10.%09Annapurna%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Zayed%20Centre%20for%20Research
%3Cp%3EThe%20Zayed%20Centre%20for%20Research%20is%20a%20partnership%20between%20Great%20Ormond%20Street%20Hospital%2C%20University%20College%20London%20and%20Great%20Ormond%20Street%20Hospital%20Children%E2%80%99s%20Charity%20and%20was%20made%20possible%20thanks%20to%20a%20generous%20%C2%A360%20million%20gift%20in%202014%20from%20Sheikha%20Fatima%20bint%20Mubarak%2C%20Chairwoman%20of%20the%20General%20Women's%20Union%2C%20President%20of%20the%20Supreme%20Council%20for%20Motherhood%20and%20Childhood%2C%20and%20Supreme%20Chairwoman%20of%20the%20Family%20Development%20Foundation.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Thank You for Banking with Us
Director: Laila Abbas
Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum
Rating: 4/5
The specs: 2018 Renault Koleos
Price, base: From Dh77,900
Engine: 2.5L, in-line four-cylinder
Transmission: Continuously variable transmission
Power: 170hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 233Nm @ 4,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 8.3L / 100km
David Haye record
Total fights: 32
Wins: 28
Wins by KO: 26
Losses: 4
COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EAlmouneer%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202017%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Dr%20Noha%20Khater%20and%20Rania%20Kadry%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EEgypt%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20staff%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E120%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestment%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EBootstrapped%2C%20with%20support%20from%20Insead%20and%20Egyptian%20government%2C%20seed%20round%20of%20%3Cbr%3E%243.6%20million%20led%20by%20Global%20Ventures%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Killing of Qassem Suleimani