Be honest, have you booked a summer holiday this year without cries of “how much?!” reverberating off the walls?
We’re approaching my annual squawk-into-the-abyss time as scouring flight-comparison websites meets late-night “travel deals for cheapskates” googling sessions. I usually end up facing a choice between overpaying for flights, hotels, meals, things to do et al for a normal break, or making uncivilised sacrifices such as indirect flights with four changes, taking only the clothes on my back and a 28-hour layover in Bangkok just to get to Rome – and save Dh700.
Even roping in AI chatbots to help ends with responses like: “Two weeks on the Med? I have found a trip for two for Dh25,000, sir. Oh, why didn’t you say you only wanted to fly cattle class, sleep on the floor and eat instant noodles? That’ll be Dh35,000.”
With an eye on saving for retirement that doesn't involve living on cat food, I often settle for the budget route. I opt to fold my almost two-metre gangly frame into a low-cost carrier's tiny fuselage like a tinned sardine, where my only source of entertainment is playing “Caption this!” to myself using the in-flight safety cards and their cartoon passengers as inspiration for memes. Just me?
But not this year. This year I’m reliving the best and cheapest summer holidays I know: by not going on one.
No queues, no delays, no worries
When we were kids, we never went abroad. Instead, as our mother worked, my brother and I would spend our summers roaming the neighbourhood looking for rocks to throw at bigger rocks.
Occasionally, we’d find a cricket ball or a Coke can that had been squashed by cars and whip them at each other, trying to dodge them like Neo from the Matrix, though often taking hits to the head. And it was bliss. They were proper summers.
No queues, no selfie sticks, no lost baggage, no delays, no worries. Now, as a grown-up, this time of the year is blighted by creating, or suffering, holiday envy online, trawling past pictures on Insta-sham, of headstands at sunset with captions like: “Putting lime in the coconut.” Witty.
For those who don't think a livestock market makes for holiday inspiration, then avoid most destinations. Summer holidays aren’t the same in a post-Covid world. They're often just chaos. The lockdowns that led to revenge travel and the aftermath of the cost of living crises have created a perfect storm of unenjoyable environs.
While travelling through Abu Dhabi and Dubai's airports may be like walking through dreamland, most of the ones on the other side (unless they're Singapore or Doha) are not. Soon after the travel industry regained altitude after Covid, I twice made the mistake of taking a summer holiday only to be plagued by strikes, staff shortages and an IT system meltdown that caused havoc at border security as passports were checked manually. The same problems returned last month.
Gatwick Airport in London (the city that tops the Eid Al Adha destination wish list of travellers in the UAE, according to Skycanner), suffered almighty delays as a result of a technical failure last year, while locals in Athens (in second) have called for Airbnb to be banned as a result of housing shortages.
Manchester (in fifth) reportedly has the UK's worst airport. Its Terminal 3 ranks an impressive zero out of 10 in a report by Bounce, a luggage storage company, which analysed customer happiness data. The UK's second worst terminal? Manchester's Terminal 1. Good luck to all those flying to my home city.
Even if I did manage to fly to Europe without issue, there's a good chance I'd be in a country that wished me and all the other tourists hadn't come. Amsterdam increasingly wants to shake off “the wrong kind of tourists”, as do swathes of Spain; Venice and Mount Fuji charge a fee; and residents of Hallstatt in Austria have protested against visitors flocking there after it was said to have inspired parts of Frozen. Even remote destinations such as Antarctica are facing overtourism.
'It's like you live on holiday'
The sheer number of people travelling is overwhelming the system while soaring demand is still pushing prices higher. And who can blame the bean counters in accounting departments across the travel industry for wanting to capitalise on it? Of course they're charging more after the sector was almost obliterated.
But I shan't be paying it. Instead I'm staying put and enjoying the absolute bliss that awaits in the UAE's quietest months. School traffic is gone, freeing up roads to take a leisurely drive down town. There are out-of-offices that put otherwise pressing projects on the back burner. And every year, for a few short months, my apartment gains a free sauna – in winter, we call it the balcony.
When friends and family break away from the cold, damp darkness of the UK to go on holiday, they'll frequently head to a beach seeking sun and a refreshing dip in the sea. When they visit here, many of them mutter a variation of the phrase: “It's like you live on holiday.” So why go anywhere else?
Not that I'll be in any rush to hit the Corniche beach in the depths of August; instead I'll be capitalising on the excellent – and quieter – indoor activities. Binging on blockbusters in the cinema, drinking delicious Arabic coffee, slowing down amid the galleries and quaint cafes in Alserkal Avenue or poking my nose into books at the House of Wisdom or Mohammed bin Rashid Library.
I can also dip my toes back into the areas that are typically busy with tourists during the cooler months, such as Dubai Marina and the Dubai Fountain, and enjoy the sights at a slower pace.
Should the itch to do holiday-style things become too severe, I can scratch it with a staycation for a knock-down price at one of the plethora of UAE properties that run summer deals. Many restaurants preparing to open on the other side of summer run soft launches during the quieter season, often resulting in cheaper menus and a chance to beat the crowds.
And when my brother comes out, we'll head to the always-brilliant indoor Dubai Sports World for a spot of ten-pin bowling, tennis or cricket. He may even keep his head out of the way this time while I'll be smugly adding to the retirement pot.
Citizenship-by-investment programmes
United Kingdom
The UK offers three programmes for residency. The UK Overseas Business Representative Visa lets you open an overseas branch office of your existing company in the country at no extra investment. For the UK Tier 1 Innovator Visa, you are required to invest £50,000 (Dh238,000) into a business. You can also get a UK Tier 1 Investor Visa if you invest £2 million, £5m or £10m (the higher the investment, the sooner you obtain your permanent residency).
All UK residency visas get approved in 90 to 120 days and are valid for 3 years. After 3 years, the applicant can apply for extension of another 2 years. Once they have lived in the UK for a minimum of 6 months every year, they are eligible to apply for permanent residency (called Indefinite Leave to Remain). After one year of ILR, the applicant can apply for UK passport.
The Caribbean
Depending on the country, the investment amount starts from $100,000 (Dh367,250) and can go up to $400,000 in real estate. From the date of purchase, it will take between four to five months to receive a passport.
Portugal
The investment amount ranges from €350,000 to €500,000 (Dh1.5m to Dh2.16m) in real estate. From the date of purchase, it will take a maximum of six months to receive a Golden Visa. Applicants can apply for permanent residency after five years and Portuguese citizenship after six years.
“Among European countries with residency programmes, Portugal has been the most popular because it offers the most cost-effective programme to eventually acquire citizenship of the European Union without ever residing in Portugal,” states Veronica Cotdemiey of Citizenship Invest.
Greece
The real estate investment threshold to acquire residency for Greece is €250,000, making it the cheapest real estate residency visa scheme in Europe. You can apply for residency in four months and citizenship after seven years.
Spain
The real estate investment threshold to acquire residency for Spain is €500,000. You can apply for permanent residency after five years and citizenship after 10 years. It is not necessary to live in Spain to retain and renew the residency visa permit.
Cyprus
Cyprus offers the quickest route to citizenship of a European country in only six months. An investment of €2m in real estate is required, making it the highest priced programme in Europe.
Malta
The Malta citizenship by investment programme is lengthy and investors are required to contribute sums as donations to the Maltese government. The applicant must either contribute at least €650,000 to the National Development & Social Fund. Spouses and children are required to contribute €25,000; unmarried children between 18 and 25 and dependent parents must contribute €50,000 each.
The second step is to make an investment in property of at least €350,000 or enter a property rental contract for at least €16,000 per annum for five years. The third step is to invest at least €150,000 in bonds or shares approved by the Maltese government to be kept for at least five years.
Candidates must commit to a minimum physical presence in Malta before citizenship is granted. While you get residency in two months, you can apply for citizenship after a year.
Egypt
A one-year residency permit can be bought if you purchase property in Egypt worth $100,000. A three-year residency is available for those who invest $200,000 in property, and five years for those who purchase property worth $400,000.
Source: Citizenship Invest and Aqua Properties
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In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
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MATCH INFO
Syria v Australia
2018 World Cup qualifying: Asia fourth round play-off first leg
Venue: Hang Jebat Stadium (Malacca, Malayisa)
Kick-off: Thursday, 4.30pm (UAE)
Watch: beIN Sports HD
* Second leg in Australia scheduled for October 10
Types of bank fraud
1) Phishing
Fraudsters send an unsolicited email that appears to be from a financial institution or online retailer. The hoax email requests that you provide sensitive information, often by clicking on to a link leading to a fake website.
2) Smishing
The SMS equivalent of phishing. Fraudsters falsify the telephone number through “text spoofing,” so that it appears to be a genuine text from the bank.
3) Vishing
The telephone equivalent of phishing and smishing. Fraudsters may pose as bank staff, police or government officials. They may persuade the consumer to transfer money or divulge personal information.
4) SIM swap
Fraudsters duplicate the SIM of your mobile number without your knowledge or authorisation, allowing them to conduct financial transactions with your bank.
5) Identity theft
Someone illegally obtains your confidential information, through various ways, such as theft of your wallet, bank and utility bill statements, computer intrusion and social networks.
6) Prize scams
Fraudsters claiming to be authorised representatives from well-known organisations (such as Etisalat, du, Dubai Shopping Festival, Expo2020, Lulu Hypermarket etc) contact victims to tell them they have won a cash prize and request them to share confidential banking details to transfer the prize money.
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Crazy Rich Asians
Director: Jon M Chu
Starring: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeon, Gemma Chan
Four stars
Profile
Company name: Jaib
Started: January 2018
Co-founders: Fouad Jeryes and Sinan Taifour
Based: Jordan
Sector: FinTech
Total transactions: over $800,000 since January, 2018
Investors in Jaib's mother company Alpha Apps: Aramex and 500 Startups
Countdown to Zero exhibition will show how disease can be beaten
Countdown to Zero: Defeating Disease, an international multimedia exhibition created by the American Museum of National History in collaboration with The Carter Center, will open in Abu Dhabi a month before Reaching the Last Mile.
Opening on October 15 and running until November 15, the free exhibition opens at The Galleria mall on Al Maryah Island, and has already been seen at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum in Atlanta, the American Museum of Natural History in New York, and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
WWE Super ShowDown results
Seth Rollins beat Baron Corbin to retain his WWE Universal title
Finn Balor defeated Andrade to stay WWE Intercontinental Championship
Shane McMahon defeated Roman Reigns
Lars Sullivan won by disqualification against Lucha House Party
Randy Orton beats Triple H
Braun Strowman beats Bobby Lashley
Kofi Kingston wins against Dolph Zigggler to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Mansoor Al Shehail won the 50-man Battle Royal
The Undertaker beat Goldberg
PROFILE OF INVYGO
Started: 2018
Founders: Eslam Hussein and Pulkit Ganjoo
Based: Dubai
Sector: Transport
Size: 9 employees
Investment: $1,275,000
Investors: Class 5 Global, Equitrust, Gulf Islamic Investments, Kairos K50 and William Zeqiri
The Cairo Statement
1: Commit to countering all types of terrorism and extremism in all their manifestations
2: Denounce violence and the rhetoric of hatred
3: Adhere to the full compliance with the Riyadh accord of 2014 and the subsequent meeting and executive procedures approved in 2014 by the GCC
4: Comply with all recommendations of the Summit between the US and Muslim countries held in May 2017 in Saudi Arabia.
5: Refrain from interfering in the internal affairs of countries and of supporting rogue entities.
6: Carry out the responsibility of all the countries with the international community to counter all manifestations of extremism and terrorism that threaten international peace and security
