Mohammed al Hosani sees the centre as a social responsibility from the police to the community.
Mohammed al Hosani sees the centre as a social responsibility from the police to the community.

Growing debts strain family life



ABU DHABI // Easy credit coupled with social pressures to live beyond ones means are putting family life under intense strain, officials at Abu Dhabi's Social Support Centre have warned. The centre has seen an increase in cases of domestic abuse and divorce as unpaid debts put an intolerable burden on families. Lt Col Mohammed al Hosani, the centre's deputy manager, said: "More divorces are happening and we feel as though family values and cultural values are going. "It is not as positive as before and life is more complicated. This is going to affect the quality of life. Sometimes when you are looking for better quality you can get lost." Stressing that the Government provides citizens with "more than they need", Lt Col Hosani said in his experience, the problems arose when people "exaggerate in their spending". "Expectations are too high and loans are affecting the community. The most important thing is for people to be realistic," he said. "Some people are measuring their life based on what others think of them, not on their life. A husband and wife could be very happy, but problems can come when they can't maybe afford things or when they have debts." The centre, which has branches in Al Ain, Khalifa City and Al Gharbia, works to resolve conflicts without involving the conventional police force. Managed by Abu Dhabi Police, it seeks to resolve problems while also conducting public awareness programmes on social issues and carrying out research into what problems are affecting the community. The centre's services are available to all residents, including expatriates. However, he said problems in Emirati families currently formed the bulk of its caseload. "Mostly we deal with family and neighbourhood disputes, some domestic violence and child abuse," he said. "There are fights within families and people don't like to talk about their problems, but we try to help those who suffer silently in the darkest time of their life." He said the centre used "creative" methods to mediate in disputes but cases could be referred to the police or the courts when clear legal issues were involved. The centre also provides psychosocial support for victims of crimes, including rape. Cases can be referred through local police stations and government departments. In some cases people voluntarily seek assistance from the centre. Lt Col Hosani said people who feel they have nowhere to turn are potential threats to themselves and others, and this is why the centre's services are completely confidential. "Confidentiality is the most important thing here," he said. "People can just come here and talk." The majority of cases were family-related and dealt with sensitively, he said. He gave the example of a seven-year-old boy who began turning up to classes with bruises on his arms. Rather than confront the family, the school's headmistress spoke to the child and was told that he was being abused by his mother. The case was referred to Abu Dhabi's Social Support Centre. "The boy told them that it was his mother who had done this," Lt Col Hosani said. Through investigation and visits, the centre found that the mother had been abandoned by her husband, was struggling to provide for her children and was severely depressed. The centre followed up the case, visiting the family at their home and consulting with the boy's school to monitor the situation. "[Ultimately], you have to think about the outcomes. It is solved now and we managed to keep the family together, which is better than taking the boy away." Lt Col Hosani sees the centre "as a sort of social responsibility from the police to the community, which means that our social activities help prevent crimes in the long term". While the types of services offered by the Social Support Centre are often the domain of non-governmental groups elsewhere, he said the centre's affiliations with police were a help rather than a hindrance. "We are more flexible to deal with cases and better positioned to contact the police, prosecution and the courts; there is more confidence in us." The concept for the centre was developed in 2003, when Sheikh Saif bin Zayed, the Minister of Interior, introduced the system to deal with sensitive cases confidentially, build relationships with communities and reduce crime by stepping in before problems escalate. "It is really like a mediation between the police and the people in a more confidential way, while allowing people to talk about their problems." Lt Col Hosani said since 2003, people have grown to trust the centre's staff and are increasingly turning to them for help. This is reflected in the increase in the caseload, he said. Family problems account for the bulk of the cases, with a total of 336 in 2006, rising to 543 in 2007. In the first half of 2008, there were 334 such cases. Following family problems, marital disputes are frequently addressed by the centre, along with school violence, delinquency and drug and alcohol abuse. Between 2006 and 2007, the number of cases managed by the centre grew from 1,519 to 2,381. In the first six months of 2008, the centre received 1,358 cases. Lt Col Hosani, who has worked in the police force for 20 years, said: "People know us now and are aware of the help we can offer. "We have been very effective with cases where we can give solutions to the problem and we feel as though we added a lot of positive change to people's lives." While the aim of the centre is to help settle disputes in an "amicable" manner, it also works to prevent people from committing crimes. "People should not suffer silently," Lt Col Hosani said. "Most people don't understand and think that their problem is much bigger and they can make very bad decisions. When you share with others and talk it is good for everyone." * Contact the community police department at 800 5354 zconstantine@thenational.ae

Kamindu Mendis bio

Full name: Pasqual Handi Kamindu Dilanka Mendis

Born: September 30, 1998

Age: 20 years and 26 days

Nationality: Sri Lankan

Major teams Sri Lanka's Under 19 team

Batting style: Left-hander

Bowling style: Right-arm off-spin and slow left-arm orthodox (that's right!)

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Farasan Boat: 128km Away from Anchorage

Director: Mowaffaq Alobaid 

Stars: Abdulaziz Almadhi, Mohammed Al Akkasi, Ali Al Suhaibani

Rating: 4/5

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Our family matters legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

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'Of Love & War'
Lynsey Addario, Penguin Press

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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Through Her Lens: The stories behind the photography of Eva Sereny

Forewords by Jacqueline Bisset and Charlotte Rampling, ACC Art Books

The specs

Engine: 6.2-litre V8

Transmission: seven-speed auto

Power: 420 bhp

Torque: 624Nm

Price: from Dh293,200

On sale: now

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The specs
 
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
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Engine: Direct injection 4-cylinder 1.4-litre
Power: 150hp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: From Dh139,000
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The specs

Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cylinder petrol

Power: 154bhp

Torque: 250Nm

Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option 

Price: From Dh79,600

On sale: Now

Squid Game season two

Director: Hwang Dong-hyuk 

Stars:  Lee Jung-jae, Wi Ha-joon and Lee Byung-hun

Rating: 4.5/5

How The Debt Panel's advice helped readers in 2019

December 11: 'My husband died, so what happens to the Dh240,000 he owes in the UAE?'

JL, a housewife from India, wrote to us about her husband, who died earlier this month. He left behind an outstanding loan of Dh240,000 and she was hoping to pay it off with an insurance policy he had taken out. She also wanted to recover some of her husband’s end-of-service liabilities to help support her and her son.

“I have no words to thank you for helping me out,” she wrote to The Debt Panel after receiving the panellists' comments. “The advice has given me an idea of the present status of the loan and how to take it up further. I will draft a letter and send it to the email ID on the bank’s website along with the death certificate. I hope and pray to find a way out of this.”

November 26:  ‘I owe Dh100,000 because my employer has not paid me for a year’

SL, a financial services employee from India, left the UAE in June after quitting his job because his employer had not paid him since November 2018. He owes Dh103,800 on four debts and was told by the panellists he may be able to use the insolvency law to solve his issue. 

SL thanked the panellists for their efforts. "Indeed, I have some clarity on the consequence of the case and the next steps to take regarding my situation," he says. "Hopefully, I will be able to provide a positive testimony soon."

October 15: 'I lost my job and left the UAE owing Dh71,000. Can I return?'

MS, an energy sector employee from South Africa, left the UAE in August after losing his Dh12,000 job. He was struggling to meet the repayments while securing a new position in the UAE and feared he would be detained if he returned. He has now secured a new job and will return to the Emirates this month.

“The insolvency law is indeed a relief to hear,” he says. "I will not apply for insolvency at this stage. I have been able to pay something towards my loan and credit card. As it stands, I only have a one-month deficit, which I will be able to recover by the end of December." 

Going grey? A stylist's advice

If you’re going to go grey, a great style, well-cared for hair (in a sleek, classy style, like a bob), and a young spirit and attitude go a long way, says Maria Dowling, founder of the Maria Dowling Salon in Dubai.
It’s easier to go grey from a lighter colour, so you may want to do that first. And this is the time to try a shorter style, she advises. Then a stylist can introduce highlights, start lightening up the roots, and let it fade out. Once it’s entirely grey, a purple shampoo will prevent yellowing.
“Get professional help – there’s no other way to go around it,” she says. “And don’t just let it grow out because that looks really bad. Put effort into it: properly condition, straighten, get regular trims, make sure it’s glossy.”

Brief scoreline:

Manchester United 1

Mata 11'

Chelsea 1

Alonso 43'

The biog

Marital status: Separated with two young daughters

Education: Master's degree from American Univeristy of Cairo

Favourite book: That Is How They Defeat Despair by Salwa Aladian

Favourite Motto: Their happiness is your happiness

Goal: For Nefsy to become his legacy long after he is gon