UAE

Marital bliss and a single's freedom can both be illusions

Single in the city For me personally, it is not really about grass being greener on the other side, but rather, that the family house beyond the fence, even with all its difficulties, sure looks more cosy than a tiny bachelor apartment.

Rym Ghazal

February 18, 2010

In a village resembling many others along a barrier that divides two nations, stood two cows. They were looking at each other through a fence of twisted metal that separated their worlds. They were both brown and looked identical in size and shape. One could almost call them a mirror image of each other, except for one tiny detail. "Their grass is greener and thicker than ours," the farmer of the cow on the Lebanese side said to me that day as we watched the scene from a distance.

Zooming in with my camera, I saw no difference in the colour or texture between the grass field on the Lebanese side, and the one on the Israeli side. Politics aside, the important point for me was that I was pretty sure the farmer on the other side probably had some comments about the patch of grass that was beyond his cow's reach. On inspection with the naked eye, the grass on the other side of the fence did indeed appear a tad greener and more lush. The old proverb, "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence," - and its many predecessors and versions - probably originated in a setting not unlike the one I observed that day.

Sitting with a group of friends, the single ones can't help but ask the married ones what it is like on the other side: "So, how is married life?" "Eh, as expected," one of them would say, joined by others who go on to list the great challenges in marriage and having children, and not having enough time for themselves. "You singles are lucky, living it up for yourselves," they would say. Of course, the singles would respond: "Oh no you are wrong. It is you who is lucky to have a partner and to be surrounded by family and not feel lonely."

The conversations would go back and forth, with the different characters trying to assert their positions on how their life "really is" and how it appears to them that the lives of others are "better" or "less stressful". I guess we can't help it. We all do it. At some point we can't help but think that it is better on the other side of one of life's most important fences. As I watched my old classmates get married one by one, I have had a chance to learn a lot from their experiences. There are just two of us remaining. Both of us happen to be in a somewhat stressful line of work. Or at least that is the excuse we keep using as one of the main reasons we have not yet settled down.

But then again, when was the last time you heard anyone say: "Nah, my work is not stressful. It is relaxing and fun and I get paid too much." Even bankers don't say that. Every time I visit one of my married friends, whereby I bring gifts for them and their children from my travels, I get to hear about how "lucky" I am to be free to do this and that and not to have the weight of responsibilities and life changing adjustments they have had to manage since getting married.

What I see when I visit them - and this is a somewhat biased account I'll admit - is a comfortable and beautiful home with a garden and a swing. The home is bustling with life, laughter and plenty of wholesome meals. They have assistance from both their own families and maids to help them in preparing meals and treats. On my own, I can't afford this kind of house nor the luxury of having food cooked in a proper kitchen and served on a real dinning table (which also seems to be a luxury these days).

Then I see a sweet husband who happened to drop in as a surprise with roses and gifts for everyone in the house, including me, as he heard that I, his wife's childhood friend, was visiting from abroad. They sort out the bills and house and life chores together, sharing the good and bad that life throws at them. But then again, troubles also double with two different minds and characters who live under one roof.

I saw cracks in this portrait I painted of a married life later in the day, when the children became a bit naughty. It was one of the few times I noticed how children end up hearing a lot of orders and lectures throughout the day. I felt bad for them. Then there was a problem with the car, with each of the parents pointing the finger at the other, and then, finally at me. If they didn't have to pick me up from the airport, the car would have had some petrol in it instead of standing empty and immovable in the garage.

For me personally, it is not really about grass being greener on the other side, but rather, that the family house beyond the fence, even with all its difficulties, sure looks more cosy than a tiny bachelor apartment. rghazal@thenational.ae

'The Batman'

Stars:Robert Pattinson

Director:Matt Reeves

Rating: 5/5

India cancels school-leaving examinations
What to watch out for:

Algae, waste coffee grounds and orange peels will be used in the pavilion's walls and gangways

The hulls of three ships will be used for the roof

The hulls will painted to make the largest Italian tricolour in the country’s history

Several pillars more than 20 metres high will support the structure

Roughly 15 tonnes of steel will be used

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Getting there
Flydubai flies direct from Dubai to Tbilisi from Dh1,025 return including taxes

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While you're here

Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.

Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.

“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.

“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.

Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.

From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.

Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.

BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.

Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.

Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.

“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.

“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.

“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”

The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”