When being shy is not a virtue, 'wallflowers' will rejoice



Under the scrutiny of 50 eyes during a class presentation, Waleed could feel his mouth drying up. A mysterious wobble had crept into his voice, and - in spite of the room being on the chilly side of cool - a bead of sweat had formed on his forehead and was now working its way down his face. This was perspiration born of fear and panic.

But why? The audience comprised Waleed's friends and classmates, none of whom meant him harm. What exactly was he afraid of?

What Waleed feared, more than anything else imaginable, was negative evaluations by other people. He was terrified that others might think him strange, crazy, boring. Or that they might find him unacceptable and reject him.

These are common fears, but for some they become so extreme and disabling that they earn the psychiatric label "social phobia".

Social phobia is the commonest of all the psychiatric conditions categorised as "anxiety disorders", with some community based studies reporting prevalence rates as high as 18 per cent. In its most debilitating form, social phobia involves an extreme fear of most performance situations (public speaking, giving a presentation at work or college) and social interactions (talking on the phone, asking for directions).

This fear generally leads to the avoidance of such situations, thereby greatly reducing a person's social and occupational functioning.

One of the more intriguing aspects of social phobia to emerge in recent years is its connection with culture and gender. Research has shown socially phobic males and females generally fear the same types of situations, with a few notable exceptions. Females report greater levels of anxiety than males when it comes to conversing with authority figures or speaking in public. Males report anxiety related to using public rest rooms and returning items to a store.

More consequential however, is the fact that despite women reporting higher levels of social anxiety in general, most studies find that it is men, rather than women, who wind up seeking treatment for social phobia. This stands in stark contrast to other anxiety disorders and most common mental health problems - panic disorder, depression or eating disorders - which all tend to afflict females disproportionately.

One explanation for social phobia's unusual male preponderance is that culturally it is generally less acceptable for males to be socially anxious and reticent. English phrases such as "blushing bride" and "wallflower" express our acceptance and even our appreciation of social anxiety (shyness) in females, but shy boys get a much harder time.

Studies exploring this idea report that males who were socially anxious as children tended to marry later in life and also begin their careers later than their non-shy counterparts. This pattern of delayed life-goal attainments does not hold true for women with a childhood history of social anxiety.

Consider traditional Arab gender roles (which are not too dissimilar from those reported in western societies). Males are generally expected to be assertive, outgoing and adventurous, while such attributes are mostly discouraged in females. Within such societies we might expect to find high levels of anxiety among females, but a far greater number of males seeking help for social phobia.

Recent regional research lends much support to this idea. One study reported in the journal Social Behaviour and Personality examined rates of anxiety across 10 Arab nations, consistently finding higher levels of anxiety reported by females. Another study, reported in the journal Depression and Anxiety, looked at treatment-seeking at an outpatient mental health clinic in Saudi Arabia. That study reported that 90 per cent of all the patients who received a diagnosis of social phobia were male. Is it particularly stigmatising for a Saudi male to be socially anxious, or is it just highly acceptable for Saudi females to be shy, retiring and socially reticent?

Perhaps as more Gulf women begin entering the workforce, we will see more equal gender ratios in terms of treatment seeking for social phobia. Of course, in an ideal world, it would be better if we could just reduce the number of males seeking help. This could be achieved by our societies becoming more accepting of social anxiety regardless of which gender exhibits it.

Justin Thomas is an assistant psychology professor at Zayed University in Abu Dhabi

On Twitter: @jaytee156

The BIO:

He became the first Emirati to climb Mount Everest in 2011, from the south section in Nepal

He ascended Mount Everest the next year from the more treacherous north Tibetan side

By 2015, he had completed the Explorers Grand Slam

Last year, he conquered K2, the world’s second-highest mountain located on the Pakistan-Chinese border

He carries dried camel meat, dried dates and a wheat mixture for the final summit push

His new goal is to climb 14 peaks that are more than 8,000 metres above sea level

The alternatives

• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.

• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.

• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.

2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.

• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases -  but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.

The specs

Engine: Turbocharged four-cylinder 2.7-litre

Power: 325hp

Torque: 500Nm

Transmission: 10-speed automatic

Price: From Dh189,700

On sale: now

if you go
THE BIO: Mohammed Ashiq Ali

Proudest achievement: “I came to a new country and started this shop”

Favourite TV programme: the news

Favourite place in Dubai: Al Fahidi. “They started the metro in 2009 and I didn’t take it yet.”

Family: six sons in Dubai and a daughter in Faisalabad

 

TRAP

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue

Director: M Night Shyamalan

Rating: 3/5

Tree of Hell

Starring: Raed Zeno, Hadi Awada, Dr Mohammad Abdalla

Director: Raed Zeno

Rating: 4/5

A%20QUIET%20PLACE
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LUKA CHUPPI

Director: Laxman Utekar

Producer: Maddock Films, Jio Cinema

Cast: Kartik Aaryan, Kriti Sanon​​​​​​​, Pankaj Tripathi, Vinay Pathak, Aparshakti Khurana

Rating: 3/5

Match info

Uefa Champions League Group H

Juventus v Valencia, Tuesday, midnight (UAE)

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Singham Again

Director: Rohit Shetty

Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone

Rating: 3/5

Pad Man

Dir: R Balki

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonam Kapoor, Radhika Apte

Three-and-a-half stars

FROM%20THE%20ASHES
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding

Tales of Yusuf Tadros

Adel Esmat (translated by Mandy McClure)

Hoopoe

Volunteers offer workers a lifeline

Community volunteers have swung into action delivering food packages and toiletries to the men.

When provisions are distributed, the men line up in long queues for packets of rice, flour, sugar, salt, pulses, milk, biscuits, shaving kits, soap and telecom cards.

Volunteers from St Mary’s Catholic Church said some workers came to the church to pray for their families and ask for assistance.

Boxes packed with essential food items were distributed to workers in the Dubai Investments Park and Ras Al Khaimah camps last week. Workers at the Sonapur camp asked for Dh1,600 towards their gas bill.

“Especially in this year of tolerance we consider ourselves privileged to be able to lend a helping hand to our needy brothers in the Actco camp," Father Lennie Connully, parish priest of St Mary’s.

Workers spoke of their helplessness, seeing children’s marriages cancelled because of lack of money going home. Others told of their misery of being unable to return home when a parent died.

“More than daily food, they are worried about not sending money home for their family,” said Kusum Dutta, a volunteer who works with the Indian consulate.

COMPANY%20PROFILE
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Bio:

Favourite Quote: Prophet Mohammad's quotes There is reward for kindness to every living thing and A good man treats women with honour

Favourite Hobby: Serving poor people 

Favourite Book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Favourite food: Fish and vegetables

Favourite place to visit: London

DMZ facts
  • The DMZ was created as a buffer after the 1950-53 Korean War.
  • It runs 248 kilometers across the Korean Peninsula and is 4km wide.
  • The zone is jointly overseen by the US-led United Nations Command and North Korea.
  • It is littered with an estimated 2 million mines, tank traps, razor wire fences and guard posts.
  • Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un met at a building in Panmunjom, where an armistice was signed to stop the Korean War.
  • Panmunjom is 52km north of the Korean capital Seoul and 147km south of Pyongyang, North Korea’s capital.
  • Former US president Bill Clinton visited Panmunjom in 1993, while Ronald Reagan visited the DMZ in 1983, George W. Bush in 2002 and Barack Obama visited a nearby military camp in 2012. 
  • Mr Trump planned to visit in November 2017, but heavy fog that prevented his helicopter from landing.

Shubh Mangal Saavdhan
Directed by: RS Prasanna
Starring: Ayushmann Khurrana, Bhumi Pednekar

THE BIO

Favourite book: ‘Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren

Favourite travel destination: Switzerland

Hobbies: Travelling and following motivational speeches and speakers

Favourite place in UAE: Dubai Museum

Our legal consultant

Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

How to help

Call the hotline on 0502955999 or send "thenational" to the following numbers:

2289 - Dh10

2252 - Dh50

6025 - Dh20

6027 - Dh100

6026 - Dh200

Cinco in numbers

Dh3.7 million

The estimated cost of Victoria Swarovski’s gem-encrusted Michael Cinco wedding gown

46

The number, in kilograms, that Swarovski’s wedding gown weighed.

1,000

The hours it took to create Cinco’s vermillion petal gown, as seen in his atelier [note, is the one he’s playing with in the corner of a room]

50

How many looks Cinco has created in a new collection to celebrate Ballet Philippines’ 50th birthday

3,000

The hours needed to create the butterfly gown worn by Aishwarya Rai to the 2018 Cannes Film Festival.

1.1 million

The number of followers that Michael Cinco’s Instagram account has garnered.

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting 

2. Prayer 

3. Hajj 

4. Shahada 

5. Zakat 

Scores:

Day 4

England 290 & 346
Sri Lanka 336 & 226-7 (target 301)

Sri Lanka require another 75 runs with three wickets remaining

Company%20Profile
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Company%20Profile
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The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl, 48V hybrid

Transmission: eight-speed automatic

Power: 325bhp

Torque: 450Nm

Price: Dh359,000

On sale: now 

Spec%20sheet
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDisplay%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204.7%22%20Retina%20HD%2C%201334%20x%20750%2C%20625%20nits%2C%201400%3A1%2C%20True%20Tone%2C%20P3%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EChip%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Apple%20A15%20Bionic%2C%206-core%20CPU%2C%204-core%20GPU%2C%2016-core%20Neural%20Engine%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ECamera%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%2012MP%2C%20f%2F1.8%2C%205x%20digital%20zoom%2C%20Smart%20HDR%2C%20Deep%20Fusion%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EVideo%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%204K%2B%40%2024%2F30%2F60fps%2C%20full%20HD%2B%40%2030%2F60fps%2C%20HD%2B%40%2030%20fps%3Cstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EFront%20camera%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E7MP%2C%20f%2F2.2%2C%20Smart%20HDR%2C%20Deep%20Fusion%3B%20HD%20video%2B%40%2030fps%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBattery%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Up%20to%2015%20hours%20video%2C%2050%20hours%20audio%3B%2050%25%20fast%20charge%20in%2030%20minutes%20with%2020W%20charger%3B%20wireless%20charging%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBiometrics%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Touch%20ID%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EDurability%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20IP67%2C%20dust%2C%20water%20resistant%20up%20to%201m%20for%2030%20minutes%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20From%20Dh1%2C849%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Biography

Her family: She has four sons, aged 29, 27, 25 and 24 and is a grandmother-of-nine

Favourite book: Flashes of Thought by Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid

Favourite drink: Water

Her hobbies: Reading and volunteer work

Favourite music: Classical music

Her motto: I don't wait, I initiate

 

 

 

 

 

The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)

Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits

Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine

Storage: 128/256/512GB

Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4

Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps

Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID

Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight

In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter

Price: From Dh2,099

In%20the%20Land%20of%20Saints%20and%20Sinners
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ERobert%20Lorenz%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Liam%20Neeson%2C%20Kerry%20Condon%2C%20Jack%20Gleeson%2C%20Ciaran%20Hinds%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
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Managing the separation process

  • Choose your nursery carefully in the first place
  • Relax – and hopefully your child will follow suit
  • Inform the staff in advance of your child’s likes and dislikes.
  • If you need some extra time to talk to the teachers, make an appointment a few days in advance, rather than attempting to chat on your child’s first day
  • The longer you stay, the more upset your child will become. As difficult as it is, walk away. Say a proper goodbye and reassure your child that you will be back
  • Be patient. Your child might love it one day and hate it the next
  • Stick at it. Don’t give up after the first day or week. It takes time for children to settle into a new routine.And, finally, don’t feel guilty.  
Top investing tips for UAE residents in 2021

Build an emergency fund: Make sure you have enough cash to cover six months of expenses as a buffer against unexpected problems before you begin investing, advises Steve Cronin, the founder of DeadSimpleSaving.com.

Think long-term: When you invest, you need to have a long-term mindset, so don’t worry about momentary ups and downs in the stock market.

Invest worldwide: Diversify your investments globally, ideally by way of a global stock index fund.

Is your money tied up: Avoid anything where you cannot get your money back in full within a month at any time without any penalty.

Skip past the promises: “If an investment product is offering more than 10 per cent return per year, it is either extremely risky or a scam,” Mr Cronin says.

Choose plans with low fees: Make sure that any funds you buy do not charge more than 1 per cent in fees, Mr Cronin says. “If you invest by yourself, you can easily stay below this figure.” Managed funds and commissionable investments often come with higher fees.

Be sceptical about recommendations: If someone suggests an investment to you, ask if they stand to gain, advises Mr Cronin. “If they are receiving commission, they are unlikely to recommend an investment that’s best for you.”

Get financially independent: Mr Cronin advises UAE residents to pursue financial independence. Start with a Google search and improve your knowledge via expat investing websites or Facebook groups such as SimplyFI. 

THE SPECS

Engine: 1.5-litre, four-cylinder turbo

Transmission: seven-speed dual clutch automatic

Power: 169bhp

Torque: 250Nm

Price: Dh54,500

On sale: now

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: ARDH Collective
Based: Dubai
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Sector: Sustainability
Total funding: Self funded
Number of employees: 4
Company%20Profile
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A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
Junichiro
Tamizaki
Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books 

FIXTURES

Nov 04-05: v Western Australia XI, Perth
Nov 08-11: v Cricket Australia XI, Adelaide
Nov 15-18 v Cricket Australia XI, Townsville (d/n)
Nov 23-27: 1ST TEST v AUSTRALIA, Brisbane
Dec 02-06: 2ND TEST v AUSTRALIA, Adelaide (d/n)
Dec 09-10: v Cricket Australia XI, Perth
Dec 14-18: 3RD TEST v AUSTRALIA, Perth
Dec 26-30 4TH TEST v AUSTRALIA, Melbourne
Jan 04-08: 5TH TEST v AUSTRALIA, Sydney

Note: d/n = day/night

Omar Yabroudi's factfile

Born: October 20, 1989, Sharjah

Education: Bachelor of Science and Football, Liverpool John Moores University

2010: Accrington Stanley FC, internship

2010-2012: Crystal Palace, performance analyst with U-18 academy

2012-2015: Barnet FC, first-team performance analyst/head of recruitment

2015-2017: Nottingham Forest, head of recruitment

2018-present: Crystal Palace, player recruitment manager

 

 

 

 

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NINE WINLESS GAMES

Arsenal 2-2 Crystal Palace (Oct 27, PL)

Liverpool 5-5 Arsenal  (Oct 30, EFL)

Arsenal 1-1 Wolves (Nov 02, PL)

Vitoria Guimaraes 1-1 Arsenal  (Nov 6, Europa)

Leicester 2-0 Arsenal (Nov 9, PL)

Arsenal 2-2 Southampton (Nov 23, PL)

Arsenal 1-2 Eintracht Frankfurt (Nov 28, Europa)

Norwich 2-2 Arsenal (Dec 01, PL)

Arsenal 1-2 Brighton (Dec 05, PL)

End of free parking

- paid-for parking will be rolled across Abu Dhabi island on August 18

- drivers will have three working weeks leeway before fines are issued

- areas that are currently free to park - around Sheikh Zayed Bridge, Maqta Bridge, Mussaffah Bridge and the Corniche - will now require a ticket

- villa residents will need a permit to park outside their home. One vehicle is Dh800 and a second is Dh1,200. 

- The penalty for failing to pay for a ticket after 10 minutes will be Dh200

- Parking on a patch of sand will incur a fine of Dh300