"If music be the food of love," said the Duke of Illyria, wriggling to get comfortable on his chaise, "and I am assured that it is, then let's have far too much of it. See if we can't make the whole kit kaboodle blow up like goose liver, for it has caused me nothing but grief and sorrow. Ah, Olivia." He yawned and surveyed his stomach. "On a neighbouring topic, is there any of that good Strasbourg pâté left?"
"Alas no, your grace," the duke's batman Curio said in grave tones, materialising in the sunlit chamber with a folded napkin on his arm. "The toasted sandwich you requested in the early hours of this morning exhausted the pantry's supply."
The duke patted his distinguished abdomen, restrained by a brocade waistcoat whose buttons had been replaced several times, most recently using fishing twine. "Probably for the best," he said glumly. "Well, music it is. What, aha, curiosities can you recommend?"
Curio's eyelids creased. "If it would please you to visit the Emirates Palace hotel this evening ..." he began.
"What, the gold one over in Addis Ababa?" the duke interjected. "Bit of a hike, what?"
"Abu Dhabi is served by a particularly reputable airline," the valet replied. "The journey would be quite painless."
"Well, suppose it is," said the duke with a Socratic air. "What then?" His manservant made a suave bow.
"The hotel will host a Valentine's Gala, consisting of Spanish and Italian music performed by the Prague Symphony Orchestra," he said. "The programme has, I believe, been tailored to provide optimal stimulation to the romantic faculties."
"Sounds like hot stuff," said the duke. "Enlarge, if you would be so kind."
"Indeed, your grace. The Suite of Manuel de Falla and Joaquin Rodrigo's Concierto de Aranjuez are calculated to inflame ardour. By contrast The Four Seasons of Vivaldi inspire, with mechanical regularity, sentiments of melting tenderness. In addition proceedings are said to involve a guitar, of all instruments the most conducive to amorous passion."
"Yes, yes, you don't need to tell me," said the duke with a shudder of recollection. "All the same, it seems a devil of a trip just for one show. Got to think of the old carbon boot mark, after all."
"It would appear that the programmers of the Abu Dhabi Classics festival have anticipated your concern," Curio said. "For the following evening at the same venue, they have scheduled a slightly more adventurous performance. The Vienna Philharmonic, conducted by the great American maestro Lorin Maazel, will play symphonic nature studies. The earliest is Beethoven's Sixth Symphony."
"The dan-dan-dan durn one?" said the Duke.
"Very nearly. Beethoven's celebrated dan-dan-dan durn symphony is usually numbered as his fifth," Curio said. "The sixth is of a comparatively pastoral character. As such, it will make a more suitable foil for two masterworks in French Impressionism, Ravel's Daphnis et Chloé Suite No 2, and Debussy's La Mer."
"La Mer!" sighed the duke. "Great hymn to motherhood. Well, that ought to persuade Olivia of the propriety of my intentions, my feeling for the sanctity of womankind and whatnot."
"On reflection, your grace," Curio said clearing his throat, "another choice of entertainment might be more acceptable to a lady of Countess Olivia's reforming sensibilities."
"How so?"
"She has been known to take a dim view of the 'etiolated dandies' of French music, so far removed from the rigour of proletarian struggle," Curio observed. "Recall the strictures she laid on the young biographer of Francis Poulenc who came to use her library."
"She sent him off with a flea in his ear!" said the duke happily.
"For an admirer of that particular composer, he might conceivably have relished the experience," said Curio with a twitch of his moustache. "Yet a solution to our current quandary presents itself."
"Spill all," said the duke. "I have every faith in your powers."
Curio arranged his fingers into a cage. "In a gallery in the neighbouring emirate of Dubai that evening, there is to be a showing of the animated film Sita Sings the Blues," he said, "an allegorical reworking of the Hindu epic the Ramayana."
"The sort of thing that would go over well in Islington, I suppose," said the duke. "Is that it?"
"Indeed no, my lord," said Curio. "The screening will be followed by a musical performance."
"And?"
"The performers are labourers from across Dubai's many building projects."
The duke sat up with interest. "You don't say!" he said.
"They are the winners of a musical tournament that was held among Dubai's labour camps," Curio reported. "The contest, which they call Camp ka Champ, has been compared to televised talent shows such as Pop Idol and The X Factor."
"Goodness me," said the duke. "This is superb. This ticks all the boxes. I do believe she'll bite." He flung himself from the couch, waistcoat buttons firing in all directions.
"Get tickets! Book flights! Deliver my invitation to the countess!" he called, his voice receding into the depths of the family seat, accompanied by thumps and crashes of uncertain severity.
"Your grace, I have already taken the liberty," said Curio, turning on his heel.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
How to apply for a drone permit
- Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
- Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
- Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
- Submit their request
What are the regulations?
- Fly it within visual line of sight
- Never over populated areas
- Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
- Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
- Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
- Should have a live feed of the drone flight
- Drones must weigh 5 kg or less
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The specs: 2018 Chevrolet Trailblazer
Price, base / as tested Dh99,000 / Dh132,000
Engine 3.6L V6
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power 275hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque 350Nm @ 3,700rpm
Fuel economy combined 12.2L / 100km
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
Company%20Profile
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The Brutalist
Director: Brady Corbet
Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn
Rating: 3.5/5
The biog
Name: Abeer Al Bah
Born: 1972
Husband: Emirati lawyer Salem Bin Sahoo, since 1992
Children: Soud, born 1993, lawyer; Obaid, born 1994, deceased; four other boys and one girl, three months old
Education: BA in Elementary Education, worked for five years in a Dubai school
Pox that threatens the Middle East's native species
Camelpox
Caused by a virus related to the one that causes human smallpox, camelpox typically causes fever, swelling of lymph nodes and skin lesions in camels aged over three, but the animal usually recovers after a month or so. Younger animals may develop a more acute form that causes internal lesions and diarrhoea, and is often fatal, especially when secondary infections result. It is found across the Middle East as well as in parts of Asia, Africa, Russia and India.
Falconpox
Falconpox can cause a variety of types of lesions, which can affect, for example, the eyelids, feet and the areas above and below the beak. It is a problem among captive falcons and is one of many types of avian pox or avipox diseases that together affect dozens of bird species across the world. Among the other forms are pigeonpox, turkeypox, starlingpox and canarypox. Avipox viruses are spread by mosquitoes and direct bird-to-bird contact.
Houbarapox
Houbarapox is, like falconpox, one of the many forms of avipox diseases. It exists in various forms, with a type that causes skin lesions being least likely to result in death. Other forms cause more severe lesions, including internal lesions, and are more likely to kill the bird, often because secondary infections develop. This summer the CVRL reported an outbreak of pox in houbaras after rains in spring led to an increase in mosquito numbers.
The story of Edge
Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces, established Edge in 2019.
It brought together 25 state-owned and independent companies specialising in weapons systems, cyber protection and electronic warfare.
Edge has an annual revenue of $5 billion and employs more than 12,000 people.
Some of the companies include Nimr, a maker of armoured vehicles, Caracal, which manufactures guns and ammunitions company, Lahab
The%20specs%3A%202024%20Mercedes%20E200
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Biog:
Age: 34
Favourite superhero: Batman
Favourite sport: anything extreme
Favourite person: Muhammad Ali
Top financial tips for graduates
Araminta Robertson, of the Financially Mint blog, shares her financial advice for university leavers:
1. Build digital or technical skills: After graduation, people can find it extremely hard to find jobs. From programming to digital marketing, your early twenties are for building skills. Future employers will want people with tech skills.
2. Side hustle: At 16, I lived in a village and started teaching online, as well as doing work as a virtual assistant and marketer. There are six skills you can use online: translation; teaching; programming; digital marketing; design and writing. If you master two, you’ll always be able to make money.
3. Networking: Knowing how to make connections is extremely useful. Use LinkedIn to find people who have the job you want, connect and ask to meet for coffee. Ask how they did it and if they know anyone who can help you. I secured quite a few clients this way.
4. Pay yourself first: The minute you receive any income, put about 15 per cent aside into a savings account you won’t touch, to go towards your emergency fund or to start investing. I do 20 per cent. It helped me start saving immediately.
Brief scoreline:
Wales 1
James 5'
Slovakia 0
Man of the Match: Dan James (Wales)
Mia Man’s tips for fermentation
- Start with a simple recipe such as yogurt or sauerkraut
- Keep your hands and kitchen tools clean. Sanitize knives, cutting boards, tongs and storage jars with boiling water before you start.
- Mold is bad: the colour pink is a sign of mold. If yogurt turns pink as it ferments, you need to discard it and start again. For kraut, if you remove the top leaves and see any sign of mold, you should discard the batch.
- Always use clean, closed, airtight lids and containers such as mason jars when fermenting yogurt and kraut. Keep the lid closed to prevent insects and contaminants from getting in.
2025 Fifa Club World Cup groups
Group A: Palmeiras, Porto, Al Ahly, Inter Miami.
Group B: Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Botafogo, Seattle.
Group C: Bayern Munich, Auckland City, Boca Juniors, Benfica.
Group D: Flamengo, ES Tunis, Chelsea, Leon.
Group E: River Plate, Urawa, Monterrey, Inter Milan.
Group F: Fluminense, Borussia Dortmund, Ulsan, Mamelodi Sundowns.
Group G: Manchester City, Wydad, Al Ain, Juventus.
Group H: Real Madrid, Al Hilal, Pachuca, Salzburg.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Analysis
Members of Syria's Alawite minority community face threat in their heartland after one of the deadliest days in country’s recent history. Read more
In Full Flight: A Story of Africa and Atonement
John Heminway, Knopff
Need to know
Unlike other mobile wallets and payment apps, a unique feature of eWallet is that there is no need to have a bank account, credit or debit card to do digital payments.
Customers only need a valid Emirates ID and a working UAE mobile number to register for eWallet account.
UAE tour of the Netherlands
UAE squad: Rohan Mustafa (captain), Shaiman Anwar, Ghulam Shabber, Mohammed Qasim, Rameez Shahzad, Mohammed Usman, Adnan Mufti, Chirag Suri, Ahmed Raza, Imran Haider, Mohammed Naveed, Amjad Javed, Zahoor Khan, Qadeer Ahmed
Fixtures:
Monday, 1st 50-over match
Wednesday, 2nd 50-over match
Thursday, 3rd 50-over match
THE LIGHT
Director: Tom Tykwer
Starring: Tala Al Deen, Nicolette Krebitz, Lars Eidinger
Rating: 3/5
Victims%20of%20the%202018%20Parkland%20school%20shooting
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A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
The%20specs
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Four%20scenarios%20for%20Ukraine%20war
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Favourite things
Luxury: Enjoys window shopping for high-end bags and jewellery
Discount: She works in luxury retail, but is careful about spending, waits for sales, festivals and only buys on discount
University: The only person in her family to go to college, Jiang secured a bachelor’s degree in business management in China
Masters: Studying part-time for a master’s degree in international business marketing in Dubai
Vacation: Heads back home to see family in China
Community work: Member of the Chinese Business Women’s Association of the UAE to encourage other women entrepreneurs
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia