"If music be the food of love," said the Duke of Illyria, wriggling to get comfortable on his chaise, "and I am assured that it is, then let's have far too much of it. See if we can't make the whole kit kaboodle blow up like goose liver, for it has caused me nothing but grief and sorrow. Ah, Olivia." He yawned and surveyed his stomach. "On a neighbouring topic, is there any of that good Strasbourg pâté left?"
"Alas no, your grace," the duke's batman Curio said in grave tones, materialising in the sunlit chamber with a folded napkin on his arm. "The toasted sandwich you requested in the early hours of this morning exhausted the pantry's supply."
The duke patted his distinguished abdomen, restrained by a brocade waistcoat whose buttons had been replaced several times, most recently using fishing twine. "Probably for the best," he said glumly. "Well, music it is. What, aha, curiosities can you recommend?"
Curio's eyelids creased. "If it would please you to visit the Emirates Palace hotel this evening ..." he began.
"What, the gold one over in Addis Ababa?" the duke interjected. "Bit of a hike, what?"
"Abu Dhabi is served by a particularly reputable airline," the valet replied. "The journey would be quite painless."
"Well, suppose it is," said the duke with a Socratic air. "What then?" His manservant made a suave bow.
"The hotel will host a Valentine's Gala, consisting of Spanish and Italian music performed by the Prague Symphony Orchestra," he said. "The programme has, I believe, been tailored to provide optimal stimulation to the romantic faculties."
"Sounds like hot stuff," said the duke. "Enlarge, if you would be so kind."
"Indeed, your grace. The Suite of Manuel de Falla and Joaquin Rodrigo's Concierto de Aranjuez are calculated to inflame ardour. By contrast The Four Seasons of Vivaldi inspire, with mechanical regularity, sentiments of melting tenderness. In addition proceedings are said to involve a guitar, of all instruments the most conducive to amorous passion."
"Yes, yes, you don't need to tell me," said the duke with a shudder of recollection. "All the same, it seems a devil of a trip just for one show. Got to think of the old carbon boot mark, after all."
"It would appear that the programmers of the Abu Dhabi Classics festival have anticipated your concern," Curio said. "For the following evening at the same venue, they have scheduled a slightly more adventurous performance. The Vienna Philharmonic, conducted by the great American maestro Lorin Maazel, will play symphonic nature studies. The earliest is Beethoven's Sixth Symphony."
"The dan-dan-dan durn one?" said the Duke.
"Very nearly. Beethoven's celebrated dan-dan-dan durn symphony is usually numbered as his fifth," Curio said. "The sixth is of a comparatively pastoral character. As such, it will make a more suitable foil for two masterworks in French Impressionism, Ravel's Daphnis et Chloé Suite No 2, and Debussy's La Mer."
"La Mer!" sighed the duke. "Great hymn to motherhood. Well, that ought to persuade Olivia of the propriety of my intentions, my feeling for the sanctity of womankind and whatnot."
"On reflection, your grace," Curio said clearing his throat, "another choice of entertainment might be more acceptable to a lady of Countess Olivia's reforming sensibilities."
"How so?"
"She has been known to take a dim view of the 'etiolated dandies' of French music, so far removed from the rigour of proletarian struggle," Curio observed. "Recall the strictures she laid on the young biographer of Francis Poulenc who came to use her library."
"She sent him off with a flea in his ear!" said the duke happily.
"For an admirer of that particular composer, he might conceivably have relished the experience," said Curio with a twitch of his moustache. "Yet a solution to our current quandary presents itself."
"Spill all," said the duke. "I have every faith in your powers."
Curio arranged his fingers into a cage. "In a gallery in the neighbouring emirate of Dubai that evening, there is to be a showing of the animated film Sita Sings the Blues," he said, "an allegorical reworking of the Hindu epic the Ramayana."
"The sort of thing that would go over well in Islington, I suppose," said the duke. "Is that it?"
"Indeed no, my lord," said Curio. "The screening will be followed by a musical performance."
"And?"
"The performers are labourers from across Dubai's many building projects."
The duke sat up with interest. "You don't say!" he said.
"They are the winners of a musical tournament that was held among Dubai's labour camps," Curio reported. "The contest, which they call Camp ka Champ, has been compared to televised talent shows such as Pop Idol and The X Factor."
"Goodness me," said the duke. "This is superb. This ticks all the boxes. I do believe she'll bite." He flung himself from the couch, waistcoat buttons firing in all directions.
"Get tickets! Book flights! Deliver my invitation to the countess!" he called, his voice receding into the depths of the family seat, accompanied by thumps and crashes of uncertain severity.
"Your grace, I have already taken the liberty," said Curio, turning on his heel.
How to watch Ireland v Pakistan in UAE
When: The one-off Test starts on Friday, May 11
What time: Each day’s play is scheduled to start at 2pm UAE time.
TV: The match will be broadcast on OSN Sports Cricket HD. Subscribers to the channel can also stream the action live on OSN Play.
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Revibe%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202022%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hamza%20Iraqui%20and%20Abdessamad%20Ben%20Zakour%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20UAE%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Refurbished%20electronics%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunds%20raised%20so%20far%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%2410m%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFlat6Labs%2C%20Resonance%20and%20various%20others%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia
Pearls on a Branch: Oral Tales
Najlaa Khoury, Archipelago Books
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Stan%20Lee
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20David%20Gelb%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
THE SPECS
Engine: 6.75-litre twin-turbocharged V12 petrol engine
Power: 420kW
Torque: 780Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh1,350,000
On sale: Available for preorder now
Analysis
Members of Syria's Alawite minority community face threat in their heartland after one of the deadliest days in country’s recent history. Read more
Dubai works towards better air quality by 2021
Dubai is on a mission to record good air quality for 90 per cent of the year – up from 86 per cent annually today – by 2021.
The municipality plans to have seven mobile air-monitoring stations by 2020 to capture more accurate data in hourly and daily trends of pollution.
These will be on the Palm Jumeirah, Al Qusais, Muhaisnah, Rashidiyah, Al Wasl, Al Quoz and Dubai Investment Park.
“It will allow real-time responding for emergency cases,” said Khaldoon Al Daraji, first environment safety officer at the municipality.
“We’re in a good position except for the cases that are out of our hands, such as sandstorms.
“Sandstorms are our main concern because the UAE is just a receiver.
“The hotspots are Iran, Saudi Arabia and southern Iraq, but we’re working hard with the region to reduce the cycle of sandstorm generation.”
Mr Al Daraji said monitoring as it stood covered 47 per cent of Dubai.
There are 12 fixed stations in the emirate, but Dubai also receives information from monitors belonging to other entities.
“There are 25 stations in total,” Mr Al Daraji said.
“We added new technology and equipment used for the first time for the detection of heavy metals.
“A hundred parameters can be detected but we want to expand it to make sure that the data captured can allow a baseline study in some areas to ensure they are well positioned.”
Europe’s rearming plan
- Suspend strict budget rules to allow member countries to step up defence spending
- Create new "instrument" providing €150 billion of loans to member countries for defence investment
- Use the existing EU budget to direct more funds towards defence-related investment
- Engage the bloc's European Investment Bank to drop limits on lending to defence firms
- Create a savings and investments union to help companies access capital
From Europe to the Middle East, economic success brings wealth - and lifestyle diseases
A rise in obesity figures and the need for more public spending is a familiar trend in the developing world as western lifestyles are adopted.
One in five deaths around the world is now caused by bad diet, with obesity the fastest growing global risk. A high body mass index is also the top cause of metabolic diseases relating to death and disability in Kuwait, Qatar and Oman – and second on the list in Bahrain.
In Britain, heart disease, lung cancer and Alzheimer’s remain among the leading causes of death, and people there are spending more time suffering from health problems.
The UK is expected to spend $421.4 billion on healthcare by 2040, up from $239.3 billion in 2014.
And development assistance for health is talking about the financial aid given to governments to support social, environmental development of developing countries.
Famous left-handers
- Marie Curie
- Jimi Hendrix
- Leonardo Di Vinci
- David Bowie
- Paul McCartney
- Albert Einstein
- Jack the Ripper
- Barack Obama
- Helen Keller
- Joan of Arc
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
The specs
Engine: Dual 180kW and 300kW front and rear motors
Power: 480kW
Torque: 850Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh359,900 ($98,000)
On sale: Now
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylinder turbo
Power: 240hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 390Nm at 3,000rpm
Transmission: eight-speed auto
Price: from Dh122,745
On sale: now