My brother and his wife welcomed a baby daughter into the world last week. As far as I can tell, my new niece has inherited my nose, which brings me untold joy given that my brother spent a significant part of our childhood making fun of my not insubstantial proboscis. Landmark moments in her life so far (ie the first time she yawned) are being dutifully chronicled and then passed from one member of the Denman clan to another via WhatsApp. This means that family members in Cyprus, Dubai, Kenya and further afield can all feel like they are part of the action unfolding in the quiet London suburb that my brother and his expanding family call home.
All the same, in spite of the pictures and messages and phone calls and videos, I can’t help but feel like I am missing out. I will meet my niece as soon as the family has settled into some kind of a routine, but it is at times like these that being an expat is most difficult – when the big events occur and you are not around to witness them first-hand. One of my colleagues knowingly refers to it as “the expat tax”, the price you pay for living away from home. It is a fair exchange for the opportunities that being in the UAE has afforded me, but I still wish I could have seen that yawn in real time.
I started paying the expat tax early on. A couple of weeks after I moved to Dubai, one of my closest friends got married. I wasn’t there. There have been plenty of other events along the way – weddings, birthdays and other milestone celebrations – that I couldn’t make it back for. I wasn’t there when our family dog passed away or when my mother had emergency knee-replacement surgery. Of course, there are countless events that I did attend, but it is human nature to focus on the ones you’ve missed.
Things have become even harder since children were introduced into the mix. Old friendships and close family relationships can survive long bouts of separation – if they are strong enough, ties can easily be renewed, even if you see someone only a couple of times a year. But forging relationships with little ones – my nephew for example, who is now three and a half, or my god-daughter, who is five – requires a more sustained, consistent approach. Every time I see my nephew, it feels like we are starting from scratch; trust needs to be renewed and fresh memories need to be formed. He understands on some level that I am important, but I’m a stranger all the same. Foundations need to be reinforced over and over again.
I have been known to overcompensate. For one of my god-daughter's birthdays, I realised that I had left it too late to post a present from Dubai to London and so, in a mild state of panic, I ordered an oversized reproduction of the Frozen ice castle from Harrods, purely because it offered next-day delivery. "Dude, who buys a three-year-old a present from Harrods?!" was the message I received from the birthday girl's mother the following day. "I fear you may have been living in Dubai too long!"
Maybe that’s the real expat tax – overpriced Disney castles to try to make up for one’s absence.
_____________________
Read more of Selina's thoughts:
Beach holidays: a major bore or the ultimate escape? I'm about to find out
The eternal quest for the perfect work-life balance
Paying tribute to the extraordinary life of my dad, the ultimate expat
Why eating meat makes me feel like a hypocrite
Phone etiquette? I need some guidelines please
After a decade, Dubai feels like it has come of age
____________________
Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
More from our neighbourhood series:
Breaking News: The Remaking of Journalism and Why It Matters Now
Alan Rushbridger, Canongate
How to donate
Send “thenational” to the following numbers or call the hotline on: 0502955999
2289 – Dh10
2252 – Dh 50
6025 – Dh20
6027 – Dh 100
6026 – Dh 200
Company%20profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPurpl%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECo-founders%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EKarl%20Naim%2C%20Wissam%20Ghorra%2C%20Jean-Marie%20Khoueir%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHub71%20in%20Abu%20Dhabi%20and%20Beirut%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2021%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E12%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinTech%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%242%20million%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%201.8-litre%204-cyl%20turbo%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E190hp%20at%205%2C200rpm%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20320Nm%20from%201%2C800-5%2C000rpm%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESeven-speed%20dual-clutch%20auto%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFuel%20consumption%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%206.7L%2F100km%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20From%20Dh111%2C195%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Revibe%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202022%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hamza%20Iraqui%20and%20Abdessamad%20Ben%20Zakour%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20UAE%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Refurbished%20electronics%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunds%20raised%20so%20far%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%2410m%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFlat6Labs%2C%20Resonance%20and%20various%20others%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
The most expensive investment mistake you will ever make
When is the best time to start saving in a pension? The answer is simple – at the earliest possible moment. The first pound, euro, dollar or dirham you invest is the most valuable, as it has so much longer to grow in value. If you start in your twenties, it could be invested for 40 years or more, which means you have decades for compound interest to work its magic.
“You get growth upon growth upon growth, followed by more growth. The earlier you start the process, the more it will all roll up,” says Chris Davies, chartered financial planner at The Fry Group in Dubai.
This table shows how much you would have in your pension at age 65, depending on when you start and how much you pay in (it assumes your investments grow 7 per cent a year after charges and you have no other savings).
|
Age
|
$250 a month
|
$500 a month
|
$1,000 a month
|
|
25
|
$640,829
|
$1,281,657
|
$2,563,315
|
|
35
|
$303,219
|
$606,439
|
$1,212,877
|
|
45
|
$131,596
|
$263,191
|
$526,382
|
|
55
|
$44,351
|
$88,702
|
$177,403
|
Best Foreign Language Film nominees
Capernaum (Lebanon)
Cold War (Poland)
Never Look Away (Germany)
Roma (Mexico)
Shoplifters (Japan)
FINAL RESULT
Sharjah Wanderers 20 Dubai Tigers 25 (After extra-time)
Wanderers
Tries: Gormley, Penalty
cons: Flaherty
Pens: Flaherty 2
Tigers
Tries: O’Donnell, Gibbons, Kelly
Cons: Caldwell 2
Pens: Caldwell, Cross
Info
What: 11th edition of the Mubadala World Tennis Championship
When: December 27-29, 2018
Confirmed: men: Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Kevin Anderson, Dominic Thiem, Hyeon Chung, Karen Khachanov; women: Venus Williams
Tickets: www.ticketmaster.ae, Virgin megastores or call 800 86 823
Film: Raid
Dir: Rajkumar Gupta
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Ileana D'cruz and Saurabh Shukla
Verdict: Three stars
Is it worth it? We put cheesecake frap to the test.
The verdict from the nutritionists is damning. But does a cheesecake frappuccino taste good enough to merit the indulgence?
My advice is to only go there if you have unusually sweet tooth. I like my puddings, but this was a bit much even for me. The first hit is a winner, but it's downhill, slowly, from there. Each sip is a little less satisfying than the last, and maybe it was just all that sugar, but it isn't long before the rush is replaced by a creeping remorse. And half of the thing is still left.
The caramel version is far superior to the blueberry, too. If someone put a full caramel cheesecake through a liquidiser and scooped out the contents, it would probably taste something like this. Blueberry, on the other hand, has more of an artificial taste. It's like someone has tried to invent this drink in a lab, and while early results were promising, they're still in the testing phase. It isn't terrible, but something isn't quite right either.
So if you want an experience, go for a small, and opt for the caramel. But if you want a cheesecake, it's probably more satisfying, and not quite as unhealthy, to just order the real thing.
1971: The Year The Music Changed Everything
Director: Asif Kapadia
4/5
Our legal consultant
Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Mica
Director: Ismael Ferroukhi
Stars: Zakaria Inan, Sabrina Ouazani
3 stars
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
Rating: 1/5
MATCH INFO
FA Cup final
Chelsea 1
Hazard (22' pen)
Manchester United 0
Man of the match: Eden Hazard (Chelsea)
Suggested picnic spots
Abu Dhabi
Umm Al Emarat Park
Yas Gateway Park
Delma Park
Al Bateen beach
Saadiyaat beach
The Corniche
Zayed Sports City
Dubai
Kite Beach
Zabeel Park
Al Nahda Pond Park
Mushrif Park
Safa Park
Al Mamzar Beach Park
Al Qudrah Lakes
