The large number of Indian cricket fans who have a penchant being fashionably late might feasibly have missed their side’s opening game of the 2025 Asia Cup.
Such was the mismatch between the defending champions and their hapless hosts, the UAE, the game was over and done in rapid time.
The Dubai International Stadium was scarcely even half full – which is a rare occurrence given the popularity of India’s cricket team.
It is possible many were still battling the traffic trying to get to the game when Shubman Gill hit the winning runs at 8.24pm, less than two hours after the start.
India had 93 balls still remaining to them, which made it the second heaviest win by a full member nation in a T20 international in terms of deliveries to spare. Less than 18 of the 40 scheduled overs in the match were played.
When India meted out a similarly double-quick beating to the UAE in the 2015 50-over World Cup in Perth, they spent the rest of the afternoon playing football, just to get some exercise.
Given the prevailing weather conditions at the start of this tournament, they were likely happy to have extra time sat down in the air-conditioning this time around.
How much either side gained from the game is questionable. India got the points they came for, but were not remotely tested in doing so. The UAE, by contrast, were shown up with the limelight at its brightest.
It goes without saying India have an enviable bowling stock. Jasprit Bumrah could make a fair claim for being considered the best T20 fast bowler in history, and the rest of the attack is loaded with skill and IPL experience.
But the way the UAE batters wilted was alarming. It is not like they have been without practice against high-quality bowling.
Afghanistan and Pakistan, who they faced in a tri-series in Sharjah to get ready for this tournament, are not short of fine bowlers. Yet the home batters looked entirely spooked by the occasion when faced with the megastars of India.
It had all started promisingly, too. Alishan Sharafu, the Kerala-born opener, appeared intent on getting himself noticed.
He took the first over, bowled by Hardik Pandya, for 10, and punched a six over extra cover off Axar Patel.
He was not remotely culpable when he was bowled by a yorker by Bumrah. It was the sort of unplayable delivery that the great fast-bowler specialises in.
But it did set in motion a miserable collapse. From 26 for no loss, they crumbled to 57 all out in 13.1 overs. Their last eight wickets fell for a mere 10 runs. Kuldeep Yadav, the left-arm wrist-spinner, profited most, taking four for seven.
It is tempting to say India were merciless, but that is not accurate, either. They had Junaid Siddique, the UAE tail-ender, stumped off the bowling of Shivam Dube.
He had been out of his crease while arguing he had been put off by the bowling dropping his towel while running in to bowl. As the decision of out flashed up on the big screen, India showed mercy, and withdrew the appeal.
And yet Siddique proceeded to chip up an easy catch off the next legal delivery he faced anyway, further speeding up the UAE demise.
To compound the misery, Abishek Sharma launched the first ball of the chase, from left-arm spinner Haider Ali, way back into the stands for six.
His was the only wicket that did fall in the chase, as he was caught by Haider Ali off Siddique having made 30 in 16 balls.
It hardly held India up, though, as they reached the target halfway through the fifth over.
