Unrepentant pragmatist 1
Self-proclaimed philosopher 1.
Sam Allardyce took the aerial approach, while Louis van Gaal climbed off the high moral ground to emulate his host.
Yet for much of the match, the supposed purist, Van Gaal, was left looking naive and his side were fortunate to leave Upton Park with a point.
It owed nothing to his much-vaunted ethos and more to imitating Allardyce.
Manchester United failed trial by set pieces.
They looked utterly unprepared for it, even though it is no secret that any Allardyce team will be dead-ball specialists or that they will feature plenty of towering figures.
The Hammers led with a goal that was finished brilliantly by the juggling, volleying Cheikhou Kouyate, but which had been coming since the first whistle.
United defended setpieces with a haplessness more commonly associated with Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal or Brendan Rodgers’ Liverpool – although both those sides, aided by defensive improvements, had beaten West Ham recently.
Van Gaal’s team rallied in the closing stages, but scarcely deserved a draw that was procured in a manner more associated with West Ham.
There can be a contemptuous tone to Van Gaal’s voice when he talks about opponents playing long balls, but his United have pursued the same policy when they aim for Marouane Fellaini.
The giant Belgian was Plan B.
Without touching the ball, the substitute’s nuisance value allowed Daley Blind to score his injury-time equaliser.
“Long-ball United,” said Allardyce, with tongue in cheek.
But direct football has its benefits and it also brings a fundamental requirement to do the basics.
Most times Mark Noble swung in a set piece, United panicked.
With illogical disdain, especially given his use of Fellaini, Van Gaal sometimes suggests his shorter side cannot be expected to combat taller opponents.
Yet while he may regard it as a principled stand, it feels like a self-defeating combination of obduracy and innocence.
Certainly his former protege Jose Mourinho is more streetwise. He picked eight six-footers in his Chelsea side at Stoke and saw them repel an aerial attack and win.
In contrast, United defended set pieces poorly at the Britannia Stadium on New Year’s Day and drew.
They struggled even against League Two opposition, leading to the strange situation where a Manchester United manager has complained Cambridge have a height advantage – it felt like a 63-year-old manager was moaning about bigger boys in the playground.
Yet, as he spent £152 million last summer, he had the chance to reshape United.
Instead, his one central-defensive recruit, Marcos Rojo, is among the smaller players to operate in his position.
Not that it is merely a matter of feet and inches, when presence, aerial ability and commitment all count as well.
Nemanja Vidic possessed all and Van Gaal erred in not replacing him last summer – when a commanding centre-back was required, the Dutchman failed to find a leader at the back.
Perhaps he was blinded by their fine form in pre-season, but a manager of his calibre ought to have identified a problem before it developed. Instead, he has made a habit of congratulating himself by remarking on United’s decent defensive record without acknowledging just how much that owes to goalkeeper David de Gea.
The Spaniard delayed the inevitable goal, with a fine save from Enner Valencia, but his excellence cannot always obscure the frailties in front of him.
While injuries have afforded United an excuse for much of the season, West Ham were the team with the makeshift defence.
Midfielder Kouyate lined up in the back four for the first time in his Hammers career and acquitted himself admirably but he was struggling to complete the game when Blind levelled.
If they had been able to call upon James Collins and Winston Reid, the sidelined, sizeable first-choice centre-backs, the probability is that West Ham would have won.
It is a stated aim of Allardyce to see his side score more goals than they concede from set pieces every season.
It is a hard-headed piece of logic that Van Gaal would be advised to adopt.
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