DUBAI // You accidentally bump into a brutish, hirsute man with a forehead that looks like a small mountain range and an extremely grumpy demeanour.
You know you should apologise - and quickly - but how do you say "sorry, mate" in Klingon?
Until now there has been a pronounced lack of places in the UAE to help you prepare for such an admittedly unlikely situation.
But the Eton Institute has announced it will boldly go where no college has gone before by offering free lessons in the ancient warrior language from the Star Trek TV series and movies.
The course on the language school's social-networking sites will fill a gap in the organisation's offerings, said the institution's spokesman, Moaz Khan.
"We offer over 100 languages but up until now we haven't included Klingon," Mr Khan said.
For those unfamiliar with the inner workings of the "Trekkie" subculture, Klingon is the language spoken by Worf - a central character in the space adventure series.
Worf's mother tongue has become so popular since its debut in 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture that Shakespeare's Hamlet and the Chinese religious classic Tao Te Ching have been translated into Klingon.
"We wanted to include it because it's quite popular among people who like Star Trek," said Mr Khan. "Even though it's not a real language, there's still a huge amount of people who are keen on learning it."
The Eton Institute's lessons are taken from a popular language programme, Talk Now! Learn Klingon by Eurotalk in the UK.
"This is for a Klingon visiting Earth and not wanting to be out of place," said Dick Howeson, the chairman of Eurotalk. "It's all vaguely friendly.
"There's a lot of Trekkies out there who get very excited and want to talk to each other in Klingon. This won't make them fluent but there's lot of words they can use."
The language CD-ROM was put together by the UK translator Jonathan Brown, who said Klingon was composed of sounds from several "Earth languages" with the goal to make it sound as alien as possible.
Mr Brown said it was difficult to get an exact Klingon translation of certain human words because of intergalactic cultural differences.
For instance, Klingons do not cook food, nor do they have potatoes on their planet.
This makes translating a common word like "chips" into the literal "sliced root vegetables rendered in fat" (or tlhagh patat 'oQqar naQHommey). Despite the obvious challenges, many fans of the TV series have already decided to sign up.
"I've always been interested in other languages and I used to watch Star Trek a lot," said Nitin Sharma, 31, an Indian who lives in Ras Al Khaimah. "I am interested in learning this."
But the Abu Dhabi resident Scott Snowdon, who says he can "out-Star Trek" anyone in the country, gave the language course only a cautious welcome.
Learning Klingon, Mr Snowdon said, was taking a simple interest in a TV show a bit too far, although he admired the boldness of the idea.
"Aside from a giant meteor hitting Dubai, that's pretty much the last thing I expected."
Meanwhile, the Trekkie says he has ordered a Star Fleet uniform from the Wrath of Khan movie era in advance of the Star Trek convention that takes place in London this year.
"I'm hoping my wife will go as a Ferengi," Mr Snowdon said.
mcroucher@thenational.ae
Quick facts on cancer
- Cancer is the second-leading cause of death worldwide, after cardiovascular diseases
- About one in five men and one in six women will develop cancer in their lifetime
- By 2040, global cancer cases are on track to reach 30 million
- 70 per cent of cancer deaths occur in low and middle-income countries
- This rate is expected to increase to 75 per cent by 2030
- At least one third of common cancers are preventable
- Genetic mutations play a role in 5 per cent to 10 per cent of cancers
- Up to 3.7 million lives could be saved annually by implementing the right health
strategies
- The total annual economic cost of cancer is $1.16 trillion
Ticket prices
- Golden circle - Dh995
- Floor Standing - Dh495
- Lower Bowl Platinum - Dh95
- Lower Bowl premium - Dh795
- Lower Bowl Plus - Dh695
- Lower Bowl Standard- Dh595
- Upper Bowl Premium - Dh395
- Upper Bowl standard - Dh295
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Business Insights
- Canada and Mexico are significant energy suppliers to the US, providing the majority of oil and natural gas imports
- The introduction of tariffs could hinder the US's clean energy initiatives by raising input costs for materials like nickel
- US domestic suppliers might benefit from higher prices, but overall oil consumption is expected to decrease due to elevated costs
Countdown to Zero exhibition will show how disease can be beaten
Countdown to Zero: Defeating Disease, an international multimedia exhibition created by the American Museum of National History in collaboration with The Carter Center, will open in Abu Dhabi a month before Reaching the Last Mile.
Opening on October 15 and running until November 15, the free exhibition opens at The Galleria mall on Al Maryah Island, and has already been seen at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum in Atlanta, the American Museum of Natural History in New York, and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
Farasan Boat: 128km Away from Anchorage
Director: Mowaffaq Alobaid
Stars: Abdulaziz Almadhi, Mohammed Al Akkasi, Ali Al Suhaibani
Rating: 4/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Company%20Profile
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Heavily-sugared soft drinks slip through the tax net
Some popular drinks with high levels of sugar and caffeine have slipped through the fizz drink tax loophole, as they are not carbonated or classed as an energy drink.
Arizona Iced Tea with lemon is one of those beverages, with one 240 millilitre serving offering up 23 grams of sugar - about six teaspoons.
A 680ml can of Arizona Iced Tea costs just Dh6.
Most sports drinks sold in supermarkets were found to contain, on average, five teaspoons of sugar in a 500ml bottle.
Nick's journey in numbers
Countries so far: 85
Flights: 149
Steps: 3.78 million
Calories: 220,000
Floors climbed: 2,000
Donations: GPB37,300
Prostate checks: 5
Blisters: 15
Bumps on the head: 2
Dog bites: 1
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants
Batti Gul Meter Chalu
Producers: KRTI Productions, T-Series
Director: Sree Narayan Singh
Cast: Shahid Kapoor, Shraddha Kapoor, Divyenndu Sharma, Yami Gautam
Rating: 2/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Three ways to limit your social media use
Clinical psychologist, Dr Saliha Afridi at The Lighthouse Arabia suggests three easy things you can do every day to cut back on the time you spend online.
1. Put the social media app in a folder on the second or third screen of your phone so it has to remain a conscious decision to open, rather than something your fingers gravitate towards without consideration.
2. Schedule a time to use social media instead of consistently throughout the day. I recommend setting aside certain times of the day or week when you upload pictures or share information.
3. Take a mental snapshot rather than a photo on your phone. Instead of sharing it with your social world, try to absorb the moment, connect with your feeling, experience the moment with all five of your senses. You will have a memory of that moment more vividly and for far longer than if you take a picture of it.
Europa League group stage draw
Group A: Villarreal, Maccabi Tel Aviv, Astana, Slavia Prague.
Group B: Dynamo Kiev, Young Boys, Partizan Belgrade, Skenderbeu.
Group C: Sporting Braga, Ludogorets, Hoffenheim, Istanbul Basaksehir.
Group D: AC Milan, Austria Vienna , Rijeka, AEK Athens.
Group E: Lyon, Everton, Atalanta, Apollon Limassol.
Group F: FC Copenhagen, Lokomotiv Moscow, Sheriff Tiraspol, FC Zlin.
Group G: Vitoria Plzen, Steaua Bucarest, Hapoel Beer-Sheva, FC Lugano.
Group H: Arsenal, BATE Borisov, Cologne, Red Star Belgrade.
Group I: Salzburg, Marseille, Vitoria Guimaraes, Konyaspor.
Group J: Athletic Bilbao, Hertha Berlin, Zorya Luhansk, Ostersund.
Group K: Lazio, Nice, Zulte Waregem, Vitesse Arnhem.
Group L: Zenit St Petersburg, Real Sociedad, Rosenborg, Vardar
THE SPECS
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Results
6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-2 Group 1 (PA) US$75,000 (Dirt) 1,900m
Winner: Ziyadd, Richard Mullen (jockey), Jean de Roualle (trainer).
7.05pm: Al Rashidiya Group 2 (TB) $250,000 (Turf) 1,800m
Winner: Barney Roy, William Buick, Charlie Appleby.
7.40pm: Meydan Cup Listed Handicap (TB) $175,000 (T) 2,810m
Winner: Secret Advisor, Tadhg O’Shea, Charlie Appleby.
8.15pm: Handicap (TB) $175,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner: Plata O Plomo, Carlos Lopez, Susanne Berneklint.
8.50pm: Handicap (TB) $135,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner: Salute The Soldier, Adrie de Vries, Fawzi Nass.
9.25pm: Al Shindagha Sprint Group 3 (TB) $200,000 (D) 1,200m
Winner: Gladiator King, Mickael Barzalona, Satish Seemar.