DUBAI // You accidentally bump into a brutish, hirsute man with a forehead that looks like a small mountain range and an extremely grumpy demeanour.
You know you should apologise - and quickly - but how do you say "sorry, mate" in Klingon?
Until now there has been a pronounced lack of places in the UAE to help you prepare for such an admittedly unlikely situation.
But the Eton Institute has announced it will boldly go where no college has gone before by offering free lessons in the ancient warrior language from the Star Trek TV series and movies.
The course on the language school's social-networking sites will fill a gap in the organisation's offerings, said the institution's spokesman, Moaz Khan.
"We offer over 100 languages but up until now we haven't included Klingon," Mr Khan said.
For those unfamiliar with the inner workings of the "Trekkie" subculture, Klingon is the language spoken by Worf - a central character in the space adventure series.
Worf's mother tongue has become so popular since its debut in 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture that Shakespeare's Hamlet and the Chinese religious classic Tao Te Ching have been translated into Klingon.
"We wanted to include it because it's quite popular among people who like Star Trek," said Mr Khan. "Even though it's not a real language, there's still a huge amount of people who are keen on learning it."
The Eton Institute's lessons are taken from a popular language programme, Talk Now! Learn Klingon by Eurotalk in the UK.
"This is for a Klingon visiting Earth and not wanting to be out of place," said Dick Howeson, the chairman of Eurotalk. "It's all vaguely friendly.
"There's a lot of Trekkies out there who get very excited and want to talk to each other in Klingon. This won't make them fluent but there's lot of words they can use."
The language CD-ROM was put together by the UK translator Jonathan Brown, who said Klingon was composed of sounds from several "Earth languages" with the goal to make it sound as alien as possible.
Mr Brown said it was difficult to get an exact Klingon translation of certain human words because of intergalactic cultural differences.
For instance, Klingons do not cook food, nor do they have potatoes on their planet.
This makes translating a common word like "chips" into the literal "sliced root vegetables rendered in fat" (or tlhagh patat 'oQqar naQHommey). Despite the obvious challenges, many fans of the TV series have already decided to sign up.
"I've always been interested in other languages and I used to watch Star Trek a lot," said Nitin Sharma, 31, an Indian who lives in Ras Al Khaimah. "I am interested in learning this."
But the Abu Dhabi resident Scott Snowdon, who says he can "out-Star Trek" anyone in the country, gave the language course only a cautious welcome.
Learning Klingon, Mr Snowdon said, was taking a simple interest in a TV show a bit too far, although he admired the boldness of the idea.
"Aside from a giant meteor hitting Dubai, that's pretty much the last thing I expected."
Meanwhile, the Trekkie says he has ordered a Star Fleet uniform from the Wrath of Khan movie era in advance of the Star Trek convention that takes place in London this year.
"I'm hoping my wife will go as a Ferengi," Mr Snowdon said.
mcroucher@thenational.ae
Ziina users can donate to relief efforts in Beirut
Ziina users will be able to use the app to help relief efforts in Beirut, which has been left reeling after an August blast caused an estimated $15 billion in damage and left thousands homeless. Ziina has partnered with the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees to raise money for the Lebanese capital, co-founder Faisal Toukan says. “As of October 1, the UNHCR has the first certified badge on Ziina and is automatically part of user's top friends' list during this campaign. Users can now donate any amount to the Beirut relief with two clicks. The money raised will go towards rebuilding houses for the families that were impacted by the explosion.”
HOSTS
T20 WORLD CUP
2024: US and West Indies; 2026: India and Sri Lanka; 2028: Australia and New Zealand; 2030: England, Ireland and Scotland
ODI WORLD CUP
2027: South Africa, Zimbabwe and Namibia; 2031: India and
Bangladesh
CHAMPIONS TROPHY
2025: Pakistan; 2029: India
Results
6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-2 Group 1 (PA) US$75,000 (Dirt) 1,900m
Winner: Ziyadd, Richard Mullen (jockey), Jean de Roualle (trainer).
7.05pm: Al Rashidiya Group 2 (TB) $250,000 (Turf) 1,800m
Winner: Barney Roy, William Buick, Charlie Appleby.
7.40pm: Meydan Cup Listed Handicap (TB) $175,000 (T) 2,810m
Winner: Secret Advisor, Tadhg O’Shea, Charlie Appleby.
8.15pm: Handicap (TB) $175,000 (D) 1,600m
Winner: Plata O Plomo, Carlos Lopez, Susanne Berneklint.
8.50pm: Handicap (TB) $135,000 (T) 1,600m
Winner: Salute The Soldier, Adrie de Vries, Fawzi Nass.
9.25pm: Al Shindagha Sprint Group 3 (TB) $200,000 (D) 1,200m
Winner: Gladiator King, Mickael Barzalona, Satish Seemar.
KILLING OF QASSEM SULEIMANI
Financial considerations before buying a property
Buyers should try to pay as much in cash as possible for a property, limiting the mortgage value to as little as they can afford. This means they not only pay less in interest but their monthly costs are also reduced. Ideally, the monthly mortgage payment should not exceed 20 per cent of the purchaser’s total household income, says Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching.
“If it’s a rental property, plan for the property to have periods when it does not have a tenant. Ensure you have enough cash set aside to pay the mortgage and other costs during these periods, ideally at least six months,” she says.
Also, shop around for the best mortgage interest rate. Understand the terms and conditions, especially what happens after any introductory periods, Ms Glynn adds.
Using a good mortgage broker is worth the investment to obtain the best rate available for a buyer’s needs and circumstances. A good mortgage broker will help the buyer understand the terms and conditions of the mortgage and make the purchasing process efficient and easier.
At a glance
- 20,000 new jobs for Emiratis over three years
- Dh300 million set aside to train 18,000 jobseekers in new skills
- Managerial jobs in government restricted to Emiratis
- Emiratis to get priority for 160 types of job in private sector
- Portion of VAT revenues will fund more graduate programmes
- 8,000 Emirati graduates to do 6-12 month replacements in public or private sector on a Dh10,000 monthly wage - 40 per cent of which will be paid by government
Hotel Silence
Auður Ava Ólafsdóttir
Pushkin Press
How to wear a kandura
Dos
- Wear the right fabric for the right season and occasion
- Always ask for the dress code if you don’t know
- Wear a white kandura, white ghutra / shemagh (headwear) and black shoes for work
- Wear 100 per cent cotton under the kandura as most fabrics are polyester
Don’ts
- Wear hamdania for work, always wear a ghutra and agal
- Buy a kandura only based on how it feels; ask questions about the fabric and understand what you are buying
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