Trust in the magic: at some point, every show will fall apart


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Working in the entertainment industry is a little like being a character in one of those magical realism novels - it's about as close to real life as you can get and still have room for unexpected plot twists and scary monsters. But it's mostly a place built on hope, on the alluring shimmer of future possibilities. How great would it be, we say to each other when we're meeting about a project, if this project actually went forward?

Because, mostly, they don't. The amount of time and effort and money spent on projects that somehow never get off the ground against the amount of time and effort and money spent on projects that actually go forward is a terrifyingly huge ratio. Every Oscar or Emmy statuette not only represents the projects that got produced and succeeded, but also the graveyard of projects that fell through, that got hung up, that somehow never got the green light.

But we still have meetings, and lunches, and we make phone calls and check availabilities - we just keep moving forward, with hope and optimism and faith that in our specific magical realism novel we won't suddenly get eaten by a snake or shrink into a raisin or, you know, one of those things that happens in those fat South American novels by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. We believe in possibility, in other words. And whenever there is possibility, whenever there is enthusiasm and hope, somebody comes to his senses and calls a lawyer.

This is true especially in my part of the business, the television part. In television, where contracts last six or seven years, and a successful series can last even longer, contracts are brutally clear: if you're working on a show, you're busy - you've got a show to write and produce and worry about the probably inevitable cancellation of, and you're locked up until that's done. But if you're not busily working on a show, you're in "development" - you're meeting and talking and pitching and getting things set up (that's what we say: "set up", like dominoes, or marks in a con game) and trying to get some projects going.

Which means trouble, even though it rarely happens that someone has two shows moving forward with production orders. Projects tend to fall away as the year progresses: scripts get written and passed on; pilots hit casting trouble; pilots get overlooked and unordered; that sort of thing. And even though we all know that most shows we're busily working on and getting enthusiastic about right now are not much more than a couple of tense phone calls and a night of angry drinking away from being dead and forgotten, we still have to get everything organised and ranked, in what we call "position". And that's where the lawyers come in.

What that means is this: if a project is in "first position" and it goes forward, you're contractually obligated to do that one. If it's in "second position", it's next up. Sometimes you can fudge it a bit and convince people that first and second are basically the same - that you can do two projects at once (which you can, of course, and should, especially at the currently depressed prices) or that the show in first position isn't ever going to go, in which case you've got something we call a "safe second position". The problem here is that these things are eventually hammered out by lawyers and business affairs people, who plan for everything, including the impossible magical realism outcome that everything goes forward, that everything get ordered, that no one gets eaten by a snake or turns into a raisin.

It never happens that way, of course. The snake eventually eats everyone, including the raisins. But this is a business built on hope - this is a business in which people get embroiled in furious negotiations about how to split up a mythical pie of totally unlikely profits for a project that simply isn't going to get off the ground. So what position you're in, what position a project you're trying to sell is in, becomes a very important issue.

Here's how I handle it. (Actually, here's how I handle everything.) I dither. I hem and haw. I kick the can down the road. I tell everyone what they want to hear, I promise everything to everyone and simply move forward with the conviction that every project I'm pitching or working on or thinking about is in first position. I trust that eventually, before it gets to the lawyers, enough projects will fall away or get bogged down or be too expensive or simply implode that I won't ever have to work out which position is which. I just put my trust in the inefficiency and greed of Hollywood.

And I've never had any trouble. Hollywood never disappoints. It's always equal parts hope and hopelessness. Rob Long is a writer and producer based in Hollywood

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The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat 

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting

2. Prayer

3. Hajj

4. Shahada

5. Zakat 

While you're here
Other workplace saving schemes
  • The UAE government announced a retirement savings plan for private and free zone sector employees in 2023.
  • Dubai’s savings retirement scheme for foreign employees working in the emirate’s government and public sector came into effect in 2022.
  • National Bonds unveiled a Golden Pension Scheme in 2022 to help private-sector foreign employees with their financial planning.
  • In April 2021, Hayah Insurance unveiled a workplace savings plan to help UAE employees save for their retirement.
  • Lunate, an Abu Dhabi-based investment manager, has launched a fund that will allow UAE private companies to offer employees investment returns on end-of-service benefits.
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If you go

The flights

Emirates flies from Dubai to Seattle from Dh5,555 return, including taxes. Portland is a 260 km drive from Seattle and Emirates offers codeshare flights to Portland with its partner Alaska Airlines.

The car

Hertz (www.hertz.ae) offers compact car rental from about $300 per week, including taxes. Emirates Skywards members can earn points on their car hire through Hertz.

Parks and accommodation

For information on Crater Lake National Park, visit www.nps.gov/crla/index.htm . Because of the altitude, large parts of the park are closed in winter due to snow. While the park’s summer season is May 22-October 31, typically, the full loop of the Rim Drive is only possible from late July until the end of October. Entry costs $25 per car for a day. For accommodation, see www.travelcraterlake.com. For information on Umpqua Hot Springs, see www.fs.usda.gov and https://soakoregon.com/umpqua-hot-springs/. For Bend, see https://www.visitbend.com/.

From Zero

Artist: Linkin Park

Label: Warner Records

Number of tracks: 11

Rating: 4/5

MATCH INFO

Inter Milan 2 (Vecino 65', Barella 83')

Verona 1 (Verre 19' pen)

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F1 The Movie

Starring: Brad Pitt, Damson Idris, Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem

Director: Joseph Kosinski

Rating: 4/5

While you're here
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets

Engine: 5.6-litre V8

Transmission: seven-speed automatic

Power: 400hp

Torque: 560Nm

Price: Dh234,000 - Dh329,000

On sale: now

UK-EU trade at a glance

EU fishing vessels guaranteed access to UK waters for 12 years

Co-operation on security initiatives and procurement of defence products

Youth experience scheme to work, study or volunteer in UK and EU countries

Smoother border management with use of e-gates

Cutting red tape on import and export of food

Labour dispute

The insured employee may still file an ILOE claim even if a labour dispute is ongoing post termination, but the insurer may suspend or reject payment, until the courts resolve the dispute, especially if the reason for termination is contested. The outcome of the labour court proceedings can directly affect eligibility.


- Abdullah Ishnaneh, Partner, BSA Law 

Global state-owned investor ranking by size

1.

United States

2.

China

3.

UAE

4.

Japan

5

Norway

6.

Canada

7.

Singapore

8.

Australia

9.

Saudi Arabia

10.

South Korea

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Veil (Object Lessons)
Rafia Zakaria
​​​​​​​Bloomsbury Academic

Your rights as an employee

The government has taken an increasingly tough line against companies that fail to pay employees on time. Three years ago, the Cabinet passed a decree allowing the government to halt the granting of work permits to companies with wage backlogs.

The new measures passed by the Cabinet in 2016 were an update to the Wage Protection System, which is in place to track whether a company pays its employees on time or not.

If wages are 10 days late, the new measures kick in and the company is alerted it is in breach of labour rules. If wages remain unpaid for a total of 16 days, the authorities can cancel work permits, effectively shutting off operations. Fines of up to Dh5,000 per unpaid employee follow after 60 days.

Despite those measures, late payments remain an issue, particularly in the construction sector. Smaller contractors, such as electrical, plumbing and fit-out businesses, often blame the bigger companies that hire them for wages being late.

The authorities have urged employees to report their companies at the labour ministry or Tawafuq service centres — there are 15 in Abu Dhabi.