Will Smith has recently emerged from his self-imposed media blackout, asking for forgiveness.
That call was directed towards Chris Rock, the comedian and Academy Awards host, whom Smith slapped on stage during the live broadcast of the ceremony in March.
While the resulting damage to Smith’s career has been considerable, it is not comparable to an enduring friendship lost.
Hence, Smith’s heartfelt apology to Rock, uploaded on YouTube, and the promise of being available “whenever you're ready to talk.”
Rock is reportedly not interested in reciprocating the gesture. Such a move challenges a long-held convention that forgiveness is always possible.
It is a subject I have occasionally written about over the years, partly inspired by my own struggles, leading to some interesting insights about my friends, faith and perceived failures.
The friend
“There you again, with this forgiveness talk,” said my friend, let’s call him Rob, during a Zoom call this week.
He is a social worker in Melbourne, Australia and, despite exemplifying the grace demanded by the gruelling profession, it is difficult for Rob to offer it to himself and a former partner, who walked out of their relationship before their wedding.
Rob is adamant he won’t forgive her.
“And I am sick of beating myself over it,” he says.
"Society places so much pressure on forgiveness and how it is as an act of strength and that I will feel better if I do it.
“I don’t believe in that. I think that it is perfectly reasonable not to accept an apology while not wishing any ill will towards the person who hurt you.”
The sheikh
In the Islamic faith, the practice of forgiveness is of such paramount importance it is even afforded its own seasons.
With the recent passing of both Eid Al Fitr and Eid Al Adha, Muslims will be familiar with the after-prayer sermon about the way certain occasions are blessed opportunities to start afresh and let go of past hurts.
I personally embrace that notion as the communal joy of Eid Al Fitr, coupled with the spiritual afterglow that comes with fasting in the preceding month of Ramadan, often gives me the extra strength to have those difficult conversations and make amends.
Another motivating factor lies in the central pitch of the Eid sermon, which often asks how people can ask for God's forgiveness if they can't forgive others?
It’s a concept that was illuminated to me years ago when interviewing Abdallah Al Araby, who at the time was imam of the Dubai Airport Mosque.
Imam Al Araby explained that the spiritual premium placed on forgiveness — also elucidated throughout the Quran — provides us with the extra motivation to perform the act without bruised egos getting in the way.
"This way your action sticks," he said
"You may feel even more angry or sad if the other person didn't react to your forgiveness the way you expect.
“But by linking your actions to strengthening your faith, you just won't be concerned by the other's actions."
The therapist
Despite its spiritual and physiological benefits, forgiveness is not for everybody, according to Jeanne Safer, author of 2000's Forgiving and Not Forgiving: Why Sometimes It’s Better Not to Forgive.
In an interview, the American psychotherapist told me how the biggest challenge facing those willing to forgive consists of some of the unrealistic goals attributed to the act.
“We are supposed to have this great revelation and we weep and we embrace," she said.
"But I think there is a large range of cathartic experiences. To be able to go on with life and be able to love and trust other people and at the same time recognise that someone is not ought to be in my life is a very important and mature recognition."
Moving forward
It seems that Rock has reached that clarity.
“Anyone who says words hurt has never been punched in the face,” he quipped when addressing the Oscars incident during a US stand-up performance last month, before declaring that he is "not a victim”.
He said he "shook off" the incident and "went to work the next day."
It is an approach my friend Rob also subscribes to and I am proud of his resilience in putting his life back on track.
It also shows that forgiveness is a complex act with no guarantee of acceptance.
What we hopefully can do, in the meantime, is show each other that little bit of grace — something Rock and Smith have been doing, in their own way, for the world to see.
The Brutalist
Director: Brady Corbet
Stars: Adrien Brody, Felicity Jones, Guy Pearce, Joe Alwyn
Rating: 3.5/5
Cultural fiesta
What: The Al Burda Festival
When: November 14 (from 10am)
Where: Warehouse421, Abu Dhabi
The Al Burda Festival is a celebration of Islamic art and culture, featuring talks, performances and exhibitions. Organised by the Ministry of Culture and Knowledge Development, this one-day event opens with a session on the future of Islamic art. With this in mind, it is followed by a number of workshops and “masterclass” sessions in everything from calligraphy and typography to geometry and the origins of Islamic design. There will also be discussions on subjects including ‘Who is the Audience for Islamic Art?’ and ‘New Markets for Islamic Design.’ A live performance from Kuwaiti guitarist Yousif Yaseen should be one of the highlights of the day.
The UAE squad for the Asian Indoor and Martial Arts Games
The jiu-jitsu men’s team: Faisal Al Ketbi, Zayed Al Kaabi, Yahia Al Hammadi, Taleb Al Kirbi, Obaid Al Nuaimi, Omar Al Fadhli, Zayed Al Mansoori, Saeed Al Mazroui, Ibrahim Al Hosani, Mohammed Al Qubaisi, Salem Al Suwaidi, Khalfan Belhol, Saood Al Hammadi.
Women’s team: Mouza Al Shamsi, Wadeema Al Yafei, Reem Al Hashmi, Mahra Al Hanaei, Bashayer Al Matrooshi, Hessa Thani, Salwa Al Ali.
EA Sports FC 24
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Other ways to buy used products in the UAE
UAE insurance firm Al Wathba National Insurance Company (AWNIC) last year launched an e-commerce website with a facility enabling users to buy car wrecks.
Bidders and potential buyers register on the online salvage car auction portal to view vehicles, review condition reports, or arrange physical surveys, and then start bidding for motors they plan to restore or harvest for parts.
Physical salvage car auctions are a common method for insurers around the world to move on heavily damaged vehicles, but AWNIC is one of the few UAE insurers to offer such services online.
For cars and less sizeable items such as bicycles and furniture, Dubizzle is arguably the best-known marketplace for pre-loved.
Founded in 2005, in recent years it has been joined by a plethora of Facebook community pages for shifting used goods, including Abu Dhabi Marketplace, Flea Market UAE and Arabian Ranches Souq Market while sites such as The Luxury Closet and Riot deal largely in second-hand fashion.
At the high-end of the pre-used spectrum, resellers such as Timepiece360.ae, WatchBox Middle East and Watches Market Dubai deal in authenticated second-hand luxury timepieces from brands such as Rolex, Hublot and Tag Heuer, with a warranty.
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
Pieces of Her
Stars: Toni Collette, Bella Heathcote, David Wenham, Omari Hardwick
Director: Minkie Spiro
Rating:2/5
Match info
Manchester United 4
(Pogba 5', 33', Rashford 45', Lukaku 72')
Bournemouth 1
(Ake 45 2')
Red card: Eric Bailly (Manchester United)
Scoreline
UAE 2-1 Saudi Arabia
UAE Mabkhout 21’, Khalil 59’
Saudi Al Abed (pen) 20’
Man of the match Ahmed Khalil (UAE)
