Porsche Cayenne S Coupe review: How I rediscovered the thrill of motoring post-fatherhood

Speak to anyone who has recently had their first child, and they’ll quickly volunteer a list of things that have had to change drastically. Newfound meaning runs through every moment – as does exhaustion. They’ll list the things they’ve had to give up on, such as leisurely meals and sleep. Also gone is any pretence that you can drive a fun, slightly bonkers car. You now need to find the safest, most boring thing on the market.

When I was growing up, the surest sign you’d given up on having nice things was the purchase of a minivan. It was a clear signal to the world that you now saw life through beige-coloured parental glasses. The widespread adoption of the euphemistically named sports utility vehicle outside of its core demographic of actual off-roaders in the late 1990s saved us all the embarrassment.

Now we could lug around car seats and prams while holding on to some self-respect. No longer did we look like we were taking the kids to school, we were taking them on an adventure. The adventure was still to school, but it looked cooler. The crossover vehicle, also popularised in the mid-1990s, sits somewhere closer to minivan territory, and I had been driving one for a few months when my son was born. Suddenly, my primary function on this spinning rock became to be a father.

As a car enthusiast, my bland French crossover used to depress me every time I looked at it. It made me miss the slightly mad Abarth 595 Competizione I drove when I first arrived in Dubai. So, when the opportunity to drive the Porsche V8 Cayenne S Coupe came up, I said yes immediately. It’s not particularly new – Porsche’s facelifted third generation is now a year old – but this was the first test drive I’d been offered in a while where I could pop a car seat in the back.

It’s hard to remember now just how controversial the Cayenne was when it first launched in 2002 – considered an aberration against Porsche’s motoring heritage by purists. Now, it’s widely considered to have saved the brand and created an entire segment for other high-end car brands to enter.

But this isn’t any old Cayenne – it’s the V8 Cayenne S Coupe in Algarve metallic blue with 22-inch Exclusive Design Sport wheels painted in Neodyme. I sit in the car. The gentleman handing me the keys looks at me expectantly. “Do it," his eyes seemed to say as he looked at the ignition button – placed to the left of the steering wheel in line with Porsche tradition.

I followed the unspoken instructions. The roar filled the garage and coursed through my veins. I let out a childish chortle. I was immobile – way off the top speed of 273kph – and this was the most fun I’d had in a car in months.

He smiles back at me, and we both nod in silent acknowledgment that this is a moment of pure joy. And that roaring joy followed me around for every moment the car was with me.

It’s funny where life leaves signs for you – that ignition button was a sign that loving, protecting and providing for my son doesn’t mean I need to live in a world of drab crossovers. Sometimes, all you need is a lonesome moment of self-indulgent joy to be more than just a dad.