Back-to-school anxiety: How parents can spot and ease first-day nerves

With the summer break coming to a close, children across the UAE are getting ready to return to school. Families will be kept busy buying uniforms and equipment, receiving information about classes and lessons and getting children back into a routine.

While a new school term can spell excitement for some, for others it can lead to anxiety. Changing schools, having different classmates, moving from foundation stage to primary or primary to secondary and having unknown teachers are among the many reasons children may feel anxious about returning to school.

“Returning to school after a summer break can be a time of mixed emotions for students and their families,” says Chris Seeley, principal at Dove Green Private School who is also a father of two. “As class lists are published, there is often a mix of excitement and anxiety about who is in their class and who the new teacher will be. Moving up a year group or grade energises many students as they get ready to meet their teachers, see old classmates and make new friends. Still, for some, this means an anxious and nervous start to the new year.”

Read the signs

According to Nicola Upham, vice principal of student development at Bloom World Academy, anxious children might display increased irritability, frequent worries or withdrawal from family and friends. “They may become unusually clingy to parents or show signs of crying more frequently," she adds. "Changes in behaviour, such as a sudden reluctance to engage in activities they once enjoyed, can also indicate underlying anxiety. These emotional shifts are often a response to the stress and anticipation associated with returning to school.”

May Zalat, head of education at Blossom Nurseries and Babilou Family, adds: “Becoming clingier, having mood swings or crying more frequently than usual are entirely natural feelings, as young children are still developing their emotional resilience and adaptability.”

Parents may also find their child is procrastinating about preparing for the coming term, such as putting off buying new equipment or showing a lack of enthusiasm for the experiences that await. Although, in contrast, over-preparedness can be another sign of anxiety. “Behaviourally, signs might include a reluctance to talk about school or nursery, withdrawal from group activities, or even a regression in skills they had previously mastered, like toilet training,” explains Zalat.

Nervousness can also manifest as physical symptoms, which may include poor sleep and restlessness, while for younger children complaints of stomach aches or headaches are common. Lisa Sherrington-Boyd, director of family services at Clarion Nursery School, offers a potential solution. “I find children open up more when they give advice to others," she says. "If you feel your child is worried but is not saying something, you could make a similar hypothetical problem of a friend and see what options the hypothetical child has. A good role-play game that can be done with a teddy for younger children.”

Demystify the unknown

For many children, the unknown aspects of going back to school, such as new teachers, classmates and schedules, can feel out of their control. “Validating the child’s anxious thoughts is important by acknowledging that any change or new routine is difficult at first, but soon becomes normal and may even become enjoyable and something to look forward to every day,” says Seeley. “In our house, we arrange play dates with classmates before school starts on the understanding that familiarity can and will improve our boys’ academic and emotional adjustment to the new school term.”

Parents are advised to join class and year WhatsApp and email groups and read weekly newsletters and communications from the school to stay up to date with what is happening. “Parents can also help ease a child’s anxiety by preparing for back to school early and not leaving everything until the last minute,” says Sonia Singhal, a psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre. “Planning a school visit, meeting new teachers and organising class schedules before the first day of school is also helpful, as is creating a night-time routine, morning routine and homework schedule.”

Keep teachers in the loop

For parents wondering how much to share with teachers about their child’s anxiety, Upham says providing as much information as possible is best. “Involving the teacher can help create a supportive environment both at home and in the classroom, making the child feel more secure and understood,” adds Upham. “By sharing insights into their child’s specific anxieties, parents enable teachers to customise their approach and offer targeted support.”

Singhal says: “Teachers and school counsellors are often experienced in working with school anxiety, so it can be helpful to discuss your child’s worries with them. Maintaining regular contact between parents, teachers, counsellors and nurses can be helpful to monitor your child’s progress and to help your child not feel isolated or helpless at school.”

Back-to-school anxiety may even occur among children who have not previously experienced it, and feelings of nervousness can last from a few days to a few weeks. “I find that six weeks is what it usually takes to settle in at school almost perfectly, for everyone to blend and bond and for a community to be fully formed,” says Sherrington-Boyd.